why is it that these
emotions
give no warning;
feeling of nothingness
and
meaningless
envelop my every
cell

what does anything
matter
nothing means nothing
my breath has no
weight

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

I wonder if this is what it feels like
If my heart is supposed to feel like hot ash,
blowing,
blowing in the wind and landing in my hair?
If my words are meant to be like alphabet soup,
spinning,
equating to be nothing?
Am I meant to feel like an empty shell,
swimming,
sinking to the bottom?

I stand here spinning
on my thoughts spinning.
The washer's spinning,
the fan spinning,
wind spinning,
Water drains out spinning,
into the earth seeping,
in the soil, hydrating;
as the planets spinning,
on their axes spinning,
for it is their eternal spinning.

With too much time on my hands
I think of you
It’s funny how these cycles
Keep on spinning
Cobwebs in my mind
Still catching lies

And love feels a world away
Behind glass
It’s easy to feel trapped
The line between observer
And observed
No longer exists

What used to matter
Now its all useless.

All those those things I thought were true
Seems like I didn't even had a clue.
Even though I was used to the pain
Cause it was the only thing made me feel alive!
Now it seems to not matter
It was all useless!

Waking up everyday with the same burden
Caught in the web I, myself had woven
What it really seems
Is that nothing really matters!

My head starts spinning
My body's shaking
Thinking about what could've done!
My feet starts walking
My hands are reaching
Desire for my world to burn!

And still I am here
Just waiting for you...
Drowning in the pool of agony
With disbelief in Separation!!!

As the balloons rose up
My heart fell down
I cant believe
Youre in the ground
My head keeps spinning
Round and round
I'm lost and never found
Without another sound

The day is over
and the world keeps spinning.


Sometimes backwards.