good days
bitter sweet
but you know
it’s merely a treat

head in a bad place
buried in the sand
deflated balloon
tasted so bland

gaze into the distance
stare at the stillness
glance at your feet
just take a seat

try good thoughts
on the bad days
breathe just a little bit deeper
collapse and feel the rays

stare at the sky
and just try
try to connect

why do we stare at the clouds
imagining our dead relatives can see us
who fed us that lie
is that why I always stare at the sky

don’t read your book of mindfulness
lift the quilt
tuck every hair
can’t see me?
like you care

you never see it in her eyes
the discomforting shadow
who rests beneath the disguise

prop her up with bamboo
like a limp old flower
so she seems shiny and new

babbling to those who don’t care
and to those who do,
she will not share

reliving in flashes
disturbed by each sting
her heart has turned to ashes
unable to forget anything

as she clutches the wooden bench
she doesn’t feel the splinter
but it doesn’t quite compare
to the pain she felt that winter

Exhaustion seeps out of my sockets
Backed into a corner
Pinned to the wall by pain
Sorrow clouds the room as it starts to rain

Take me to the roof top
Stay here just for comfort
Delay the desertion  
If you need me
I’ll be sleeping

Cross the road
Hand in hand
Fingernails digging in
Suffering locked to my skin

I’ll be the messenger
Tell every single part of me
Your agenda today is
To bury yourself and bleed

losing track of something so simple
evaporating through my fingers
and hiding beneath the blades of grass
i call for it, but it only lingers

being chased by the unknown
it has just smashed a glass
purposefully rupturing all that is divine
pieces shatter everywhere, at last

veins ache for release
pulling at the heart
tugging at the long string of fear
sickened by the lack of escape,
so unclear

can you help sew my skin together
stitch it back to normality
glue on a new pair of eyes
because my old ones are lost amongst my cries

nifty little brain
bringing a world of pain
world so complete
but pierces me with defeat
pierces through my heart
intentionally sharp
wearing a mask so sheer
so i only feel fear

developing a cycle
bravery is just an option
dangling off the cliff
cliff of gloom
if i fall
my future is doomed
future no more
so i hold bravery at my core

i only have the strength to cling on
that’s enough
for now,
for me,
until i’m gone

spiralling out of sight
allowing the touch of fear
fear curling up in the corner
loving, hating, smiles & tears

losing the feeling of loss
doesn’t stay gone for long
back to the station
where I am dragged to the floor

smothered & pushed down
by a faceless source of energy
effortlessly mournful and grey
smelling like severe sadness

so much to smile about
but not finding the strength to smile
longing for that excited tickle of glee
maybe that’s over, maybe it’s this, maybe...
but just for a while

falling in the vortex of your eyes
we are enclosed
alone in the warmth of us
wrapped up in a bow,

a surprise

delving into the comfort of you
momentarily hypnotised at every glance
fallen into place
all from a stolen dance

getting the sensation of butterflies
indigo brushes past me
whilst lilac kisses my cheek

bringing even more life to my soul
i hope you feel as enchanted as I do
because I’ve started to feel whole
all because of that one stolen dance

my body is a matchbox
full to the brim of kindling
posing as a lit match
flames stuck to me, so attached

i wore the flame
but the flame also wore me
wore me down
until my body became a ghost town

i’d flicker and light up
whenever anyone needed me to
but then fall apart so quickly
in the fingertips of you

keep going for more
there are hundreds to use, my dear
but keep an eye on the matchbox
because when it is empty,
keep the ash as a souvenir

knock knock knock
oh come in
for a nibble
for a drink

there’s so much i have to tell you
do you remember me?
i saw your old car the other day
it will always belong to you

i couldn’t unglue my eyes from the number plate
almost as if i saw a ghost
it pained me to look away
almost worth crashing for

let’s have a cup of cocoa
and a piece of dark chocolate
and finally catch up

you can’t hear me
can you?
here, let me hold your hand
maybe you will understand

oh, just like that
you’ve disappeared into ash
i don’t think you were real
just a fond yet painful
memory

at last I think I’ve realised
swirled through the motions
like a spinning top
with no intention to stop

like the key meets the lock
I reach for a reading
if it’s bad I’ll simply block
if it’s good I’ll keep believing

transparency cradles the outline of a storm
we can clearly see each other
notice the heat itching to come closer
each crack of thunder
indicates another victim being born

keep it short and sweet
time is carefully limited
allow the rage and agony to finally meet
because now,
nothing is prohibited