𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑’𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛.

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔪𝔟 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔚𝔬𝔩𝔣  
𝔅𝔲𝔱 𝔒,
𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔥𝔦𝔪.

i am so tired of
my wrists being a battlefield —
the shrines for all the times i fell —
they all keep falling apart,
and nothing lasts long enough
for all these wounds
to turn into scars.

maybe the problem is that scars mean you're healing.
maybe the problem is that i'm not.

i have worn this skin away —
long shunned by softness
and each day, i cannot fathom how
i can ever manage to hold gentle things —
press them against my chest
when everything i hold
bleeds and breaks,
including me.

i wish my tongue was more made for poems
and not for dry-swallowed poppies;
the moon flinches at the very sight.

i flinch too.

and i am so tired of my entire skin
being a battlefield
when no one can see the casualties
buried quickly —
buried well.

and oh, what i'd give to be
soft enough to grow flowers on graveyards —
and soft enough not to break myself.

i let softness sit in my chest
cotton candy woven between ribs
sweet and light and a bit sticky to the touch,
hard to untangle oneself from

i let softness take a seat at the table
fold its hands in its lap
smile, nod, and listen with joy
such polite company, the kind you hope stays late

i let softness make its home here
to the best of my ability
welcome it openly and appreciate its presence
try and return its kindness