it’s sad to say
that nowadays
a smile
is more often
used
to hide depression
rather than
express
happiness.

I fear to say
The truth of the matter
I kept myself closed
For quite some time
The fear of losing
I've kept my door open before
The room my heart lies within
Open for people to view
Easy access to
Grab
Hold
Cherish
Well once twas a possibility
After watching several
Yes several
People play carelessly with it
My heart can only take so much
Well I have spare keys that
I may pass out but
I am very weary of you
Will you accept the key
Will you try to run with it
My heart is hard to track
It takes me so long to locate it
But I'm willing to try again
Here you go
Here's the key
The room is a little messy
No one has been here
Except me
If I clean it
I might just be giving you
An easy route to steal
Or if we clean it will you
Protect it
Or
Am I going to just be searching again
Well
Here we are
You have the key
The door appears
So how about you
Come right in

You are precious
Like treasure
Someone I wish to
Protect
Allow me to rest
Within your shadow
Keeping an eye on you
Staying warm
Comfortable in your dark
Just tell me
When you need me
I promise the part of me
That lives in your shadow
Will behave until needed
I want you to protect
My peaceful
Calm relaxed
Side that is always exposed
While the monster that hides
Waits
Rests
Gets stronger
In case you need help
But I digress
To protect you
Just tell the shadow
I will protect you
Like a dragon
Over looking its hoard
Except
The only riches
I have is
A gem
Equipped with multiple pieces
That makes a whole
Beautiful
Unique
Special
Treasure
In turn look at me as your
Hidden
Dark
Valuable
Jewel
With nothing more than a
Demon lurking
Protecting you from your shadow

Look at me
Make my heart run
Let your eyes
Take me over
Drive me insane
Let me see myself
Within your amber
Trap me
Keep me within your gaze
Let me be the insect
Stuck in time
Yet perfectly comfortable
Allow me to rest
Amongst your protective
Safe calming revitalizing eyes
Until you need protecting
Then release me and now
Watch me
Protect you

Your smile brightens the room,  
like morning light spilling  
through open windows,  
chasing shadows into corners.  

It weaves warmth  
into the fabric of the day,  
each laugh a gentle ripple,  
softening edges of worry.  

In that glow,  
the world feels smaller,  
and hope sways  
like a flower dancing in the breeze.

Some days I wake up in terror
The body would move if only the mind would
Send the signal
Feel safe enough to go on living
Those days I feel a cage in the shape of
My skin
Pushing inwards with so much force
I could become a black hole


Some other days I wake up vivid
Full of life
I can walk, run, lift
Smile
I can answer the phone
I can plan my days ahead
And the only thing getting in my way
Is a pain
In my lower back
That makes it difficult to make things fun
And a confusion
That makes it difficult not to wonder:


"𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦?"

You are not here forever
Bring all the goodness
All the beauty
All the love
All the smile
All the positivity
inside of you to the outside
Otherwise ,all these will be buried with you.

                                                                              -Sandeep Kaushal