I want to snore
softly into the pillow
toss and turn a few times
wrapping myself tightly with my arms

I want to snuggle
under the weight of the blanket
sheltered from the cold rain
beating the streets outside

I don't want to have that peeing dream
filled with relief, warmth and regret
Neither do I want to share the bed
with anyone
not today, not this time.

I prefer to be stuck in the dream
where the twins are constantly giggling,
and running after each other,
their big sister, having her hair undone by her mum.
And I, looking in from the doorway
always present in their daily lives.

I didn't want to leave us
But you left me with no choice
You led me to the very edge
So I would fall into the void

I didn't want us to be over
But your plane had been deployed
I could not foresee our latest interaction
Would be the last one I'd enjoy

So when I start to think about you
And begin to lay myself down
I can feel you all around me
As your arms are wrapped around

I can hear the distant music
And remember all the sounds
When we danced the night away
And I drove you back to my house

Our fingers were intertwined
As we emersed in each other's eyes
I submerged into deep unconsciousness
Before kissing you goodnight

But as our voices grew tired
And we struggled to find the time
Something came between us
That I'll never get to find

I'm not one for saying the right words
I only know what I feel inside
And if I'm being fully honest
I still have not fully recovered

From the day she said goodbye.

I wake up without you
Lying away from me won't solve your problems
Not even on your cold asphalt bed
Your mechanical graveyard covers twisted tight around you

Rain rinses your wounds
The blood is washed away
A river flowing into my room
I don't recognize you, sitting in the corner

Watch my chest heave with silent sobs
Picturing your gnarled face
I don't sleep
I go to bed with you still gone

winter warfare
torments our dwellings brickwork
night of casualties
aggressive plague on my dreams
wakes me  to be visited

You're in my dreams
And I skip through yours
It's the only place we exist

how loudly
that clock ticks
when all you want
is ******* sleep

Places of virtue, with no elaboration?
Found timely, after a version of sincerer orders...
Sweet to the eye, but lead to forever for a sin?
We remember you, when the world has obscured...

A rainbow from the stead we favor
Sat in the curiosity of a judged silence
We know you, as if fascination has a flavor
Spare and tiding a gentler eye, we dote is again...

The good nature of promises made, promises ought
The tows of sharing, the shadow of worth, with one more wish
For an illuminated smile, you offered for first and not
The second silence of the future, where an awoken friend is...

Smile for me, one more, time...
If senses approve, senses know a season
With a realm to its shall, a host of sincerity trying
The about you show, waiting on a house of forces, and legend...

Habit, does a crying home have the sense to know you?
Welcome to a door, that changed the rage of avarice, into a blue sky
Does liberty's accuse, compare me to a wizening pace to view
The reasons of worth, made grandiose or aled to when life is why?

Your affront, the taste of a hand of love
Set to rights, or making the times known, by the sides of renown
Rest and see, a lover make you the qualm, if not a history with a covenant
Sickened eyes with a role vain enough to pray for your dream to be found...

I never dream
I am grateful for that

You used to experience night terrors

No idea why
They occured every single night when you were young

I have nothingness until morning wakes me up with a brutal slap to the face

You occupy daydreams though
It is odd that in that realm you still retain that indifferent demeanor
As if I have conjured up your essence for a few minutes

Peculiar how you talk to me in the familiar condescending tone I have grown used to the past two years

Unusual because I would rather picture you the way I always yearned for you to be

My mind consistently has worked in a literal process though

Someone who left skull strives to remember exactly as they were

So in matter of seconds
Brain's wandering fantasies quickly transform into nightmares

Every occasion

So I attempt not letting my head wander these days

No amount of discipline enough to stop it

The harder I try containing it the more it roams