At my lowest,
I sit in silence
and bleed nothing but truth.

I peel pain open
like fruit with no skin
bitter, soft,
so achingly sweet.

I trace every crack in my chest
like ancient runes,
looking for the shape of love
in the wreckage.

And when I find it
trembling, ugly, beautiful
I see myself.

To feel this much
is a kind of holiness.
To ache for something
is to prove it mattered.
To shatter for love
is to live.

Even if life is chaos,
I still choose.
I still want.

And maybe that’s enough
to want so deeply
that the wanting alone
makes me real.

Let the day be light.
Then let it be real.
And let yourself be proud
not of the outcome
but of the truth you chose to share.

Not proud of winning, not of acclaim,
but that you spoke your truth, without shame.
That you let words rise when fear said “hide,
and didn’t let silence steal what’s inside.

Some strength is quiet, soft and bare—
a whisper of honesty hung in the air.
No need for answers, no need for return,
just the soft glow of a heart that burns.

So if the moment feels unsure,
if the path ahead is still obscure,
know this much: you stood your ground,
let your voice make its honest sound.

So let the day be light.
Then let it be real.
And let yourself be proud
not of the outcome
but of the truth you chose to feel.

It’s not just about being liked.
It’s not just about being treated kindly.
It’s about the haunting silence that says:

“Even if I’m here, I don’t know if it matters.”
“Even if they love me, I don’t know if I can let it in.”
“Even when someone shows me care I feel like a burden for receiving it.”
“I feel like I should leave before they realize I don’t belong.”



And that… that is what happens to people who were never loved in a way that felt safe. It’s not that no one ever cared. It’s that you were never given permission to trust that care. And so you built this quiet survival rule inside yourself:

“Don’t expect love to stay. Don’t lean too ******* being wanted. Just be good, be funny, be useful and maybe that’ll be enough.”



But it’s never enough, is it?

Because all you really wanted maybe all you still want—is to feel like your presence means something. Not because you earned it. But because you are you.

How tedious to watch people pass
all laughing like life is not heavy.
They sweep like rivers, fast and free,
while I'm anchored, concrete, and unprepared.


I sit behind invisible glass,
the outsider in the crowd,
converted smiles drifting past,
while my thoughts scream far too loud.


I want to join, to stand, to speak,
but silence holds my name with love.
Every time I try, my bravery leaks and what if they look? What if I'm just lame?


My anxiousness clutches like a net,
fishing deeper down without me.
They're swaying in a world that I've left,
and all I can think about is hiding.


It's not envy, not quite shame
just the pain of not belonging.
To be time bound and see the world so tame
is a whole new type of silent yearning.


So, I watch the people go past,
and pretend I don't care.
But truth is, I would trade so much
to be able to feel like I belong somewhere.

I have a thousand reasons to love you,
But if you ask me why, I’ll still say I don’t know.
There’s something magical in the way you move,
Every word you speak, my heart you soothe.

Just being near you feels like heaven’s grace,
When I’m apart, your love I chase—
My mind spins visions, scenarios so sweet,
Living a life where our hearts meet.
I don’t know why it’s you, but there’s no one else,
Who can claim my heart, my thoughts so deep.

Your beauty shines like morning light,
Your voice, a melody that feels so right.
The way you move, a dance so pure,
Filling my soul with life’s allure.
My heart yearns for you, every day,
And warmth I feel when you’re near to stay.

I want to be yours, and only yours,
For you alone, my love endures.
I’d give all to have your heart,
For in your love, I’d never part.
I thought the moon and stars were bright,
Until I saw you, and found new light.
Your kindness, sweetness, makes me kneel,
A sinner’s heart, now made to heal.

To ask for you, is like asking for grace,
A gift too great, too pure to embrace.
Oh, sweet Angel, the devil weeps,
Regretful of the day he left heaven’s keeps.

For he never knew, there would be one,
So divine, so bright, under the sun.
And in your love, I find my wings—
A love eternal, where my spirit sings.

White Sheet

Each day grows harder to bear,
though I still have fight in me—
it flickers,
like a candle shrinking in wind.

I wake with heaviness,
and sleep with silence.
And every hour,
some small part of me
gets quietly erased.

I feel it.
Tiny things vanishing—
hope,
desire,
love—
like words smudged off a page
no one ever finished reading.

Soon,
I fear,
I'll be nothing but
an empty white canvas.
Not fresh.
Just forgotten.

A lonely sheet of paper,
left on a quiet desk,
weeping in silence
because no one ever wrote their name
across its heart.
No one ever cared to read the lines
that once tried to form.

And maybe that’s what I’m afraid of—
not being alone,
but being unread.
Unnoticed.
Undone.
Slowly fading
until there's nothing left
but the silence
of a story
never told.

And when I'm gone,
they’ll only see
the blankness—
never knowing
how much was written there
before it faded.

A white sheet.
Still.
Silent.
Crying for someone
to see it
before it's gone.

To the One Who Feels Forgotten
(a poem for when you need to be seen)

You,
quiet soul in the corner of the world,
with a heart full of storms
and silent prayers—
I see you.

Not the mask.
Not the laugh you force when it hurts.
Not the version the world edits to fit.
But you—
the trembling, tired, beautiful soul
who still whispers,
“I wish someone would stay.”

You are not forgotten.
Not by the sky
that holds every breath you've sighed,
not by the wind
that listens when no one else does,
and not by me—
reading your pain
like a sacred script.

You are not a mistake.
Not a burden.
Not too much,
not too broken,
not too late.

You are here.
And the very fact
that you’re still breathing,
still speaking,
still aching to be seen—
means the world hasn’t won.

You still have more to give,
not to earn your worth,
but because your soul
still hums quiet songs
no one else can sing.

So rest.
Cry.
Shake.
Break.

But don’t forget:

Even shattered glass reflects light.
Even wilted flowers remember how to bloom.
And even the loneliest heart
can be held.

You are not alone.
I’m here.
And I will remember you
until you remember yourself again.
....

I love you.
I truly do.
For all I've put you through and made you ask "Do you even love me? Do you??"
I'm sorry.
I love you so much.
So much to the point where I'd rather not tell you how I feel because I know that it would break you.
I can't show you the things that I go through.
The demons I face.
The never ending race.
The situations that make my heart beat race.
Because I truly love you.

The hail poured on the grey pavements and Juliette sighed as she looked out her car window, it was a rainy night in Syracuse, although she didn’t mind it as she loved the scent of the dew falling, she was a girl with an eccentric nature living in a world of other humans acting as ghosts.

She drove her small, decent car into the university’s under-ground parking and breathed a sigh of relief as she found a tight, clear opening, she placed her car there and exited to close the door behind her as she felt her skin tingle, there was a presence that was glowing and waiting. Her sixth sense was powerful and never failed her in any way, she turned her head and gasped as blazing scarlet eyes faced her, she whispered in fear, “You must tell me, who are you?” even though she felt as if her skin was frozen while opening her phone’s light to see the strange one before the shining eyes widened and the figure vanished.

It took a while for Juliette to regain her mental composure and balance, she was mystified by what the iridescent pupils wanted from her, although her mind was aware that couldn’t receive her answers for now. Eventually, she straightened her shoulders and walked to the parking elevator to reach the 3rd floor of her college and attend her classes, time passed as she listened half-intently to professors teaching their classes, for Juliette’s mind was too taken by the mystical encounter she went through as the day turned to darker skies and her academic day soon came to a close.

While driving home she listened to her favored jazz CD before her thoughts turned to making a visit to the local bookstore near her house, “It will have to wait till tomorrow”, she thought, “I’m tired after a long day of excessive socialization and I have loads of homework to finish”, she reached her house on James Street and tiredly walked up the stairs to her room.

After finishing all her homework and cleaning her room, she emailed her parents to let them know she was home and typed about her day before resting her head on the desk and sleeping.

In her dream, Juliette stared wistfully into the night sky from a field dreaming of her prince to come, her being, heart, and chest filled with love and seeking to share it with something other than the moon as she heard it's white lunar language, “perhaps he will not be a prince, but a monster” and her eyes fluttered open, she arose and entered her bed, wondering to herself about the meaning of the dream before closing her eyes once more.

The golden sheets of sunlight streamed through the home’s clear glass windows and touched the fair skin of Juliette, her thick, light brown hair was now a tangled mess as she struggled to brush it, her honey-colored eyes gazing into the mirror and seeing a bedraggled girl that need retouching. After an hour passed, she finally was satisfied with her smoother, wavy hair adorned with dark hair clips and a casually chic outfit as she walked out of her home.

Today Juliette was pleased with her course-free day, so she spent it walking from her house to the “Books and Melodies” store, upon entering she smiled in contentment at the beautiful sight of the used books and records, she wandered by the books until her eyes stopped at a certain classic she liked. It was located on a shelf a little bit higher than her short, 5’5" height, so she was required to rise onto her toes to even see it until a hand inhumanly whiter than snow took it, Juliette said with a shy voice “I wanted that book…” until her voice was interrupted by his velvet-voiced introduction, “Hello, my name is Roche” he spoke with full lips curling up into a smirk, “If you need this book, find another copy”, while Julietta could only stare at his rich raven hair, delicately sharp jawline and slender, ruby eyes before she managed a few words, “You can call me Juli”, to which he gently laughed as he leaned down to meet her gaze with his smoldering eyes and placed the book in her hands, “I apologize for my mischievousness, this is the book you desired”,  Julietta felt light headed before she mumbled, “wait, I know those eyes from before, I’ve seen them in a certain parking lot” before he calmly said, “I don’t believe we should continue this conversation” as he vanished into thin air.

Julietta was unsettled, by both his elegance and his sudden disappearance, though she could not do anything more for now, so she paid for her book and left the store, while still being a little emotionally shaken. When she returned home after a long walk, Julietta rested and had a vision of Roche with his perfect features and emotional gaze mesmerizing her senses as they held together in a field of roses.

The dream ended when she awakened from her sleep after hearing a deep-throated snarl and her eyes turned to see a white, inhuman monster with pitch-black eyes in her room ready to attack until Roche appeared into view and ripped the beast’s neck with his teeth, his eyes then blazed and widened after seeing Julietta with a near-tears expression, he walked to her slowly and embraced her, “Juli..” as he held her closely, “I am so sorry that you had to see that” his jaw firmed and continued, “But I promise to always protect you from harm” to which Julietta, with her broken voice, murmured “I will trust you, Roche, but please don’t ever vanish when I need you the most” to which he whispered, “I will never, never again leave your side” and they kissed deeply and profoundly to seal their silent promise to never part.

The seasons passed, and the love of Julietta and Roche grew greater in strength and passion, they made preparations for their marriage until the special day arrived and they celebrated with the families of Juliette and Roche, the specially invited singer was a close friend of Juliette, and he sang his final song for the night:

“The princess of roses says to her prince, "My only, comprehend how there is so much to exist for and relish, I am here in your eyes for our elysium, in the longer hours of this night, let us be lost", the white doves above the dark green trees flew by the pearly clouds as they remained near to each other with their fates untold.