I'd **** myself if it meant it spared you all the pain,
I'd willingly go crazy if it meant that you would stay sane
I wish I didn't have to make an impossible choice,
I'm trying to handle it with some grace and poise,
I hate that I see your face devoid of a smile,
I know it will remain like this for a while.
I hate that I'm making your dreams disappear,
I hate that I can't predict the future; it's so unclear.
The world refuses to help in any way,
I'm forced to hurt you, to ruin your every day.
If I could ask the universe for just one boon,
It would be for time to fly, so I can be with you, soon.

Sometimes I hear a whisper,
The slightest hum of her voice,
Eyes scavenge the plains before me,
For a glimmer of her,
For a glimmer of hope,
Alas! There is none,
Nothing but the thoughts of a melancholic mind.

Sometimes the wind carries a fragrance,
Redolence of our past embrace,
Lips spread to call out her name,
For a sight of her,
For a sight of love,
Alas! There is none,
Nothing but the thoughts of a melancholic mind.

Stage lights and the shimmer of red sequin
He read her like a book
And his teeth kept on shining,
he's been there before

She’s singin’,
“In Heaven
Everything is fine
In Heaven
Everything is fine
You got your good thing
And I've got mine

Everything is fine”

It’s enamoring, he thinks to himself,
“You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothin' else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
Wise men say
"Only fools rush in"
But I can't help falling in love with you”

She’s looking back,
Fading as she sings and thinking,
“Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?”

The song ends and she slips
into the bar-side
of his hunting grounds,
he feels ignored,
so he walks over
“Oh, What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

Baby, don't hurt me
No more
Can you tell me,
What is love?”

Maybe it's too much so she bows out
“ok, can you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?”

“No,” he’s disappointed,
“I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a sign”

She asks, ”What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more

can you cater to every fantasy I got?
can you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
can you take me places I've never known?

What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more.”

He responds slowly,
Soon hurrying his words,
“Oh, I don't know, what can I do?
What else can I say? It's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you.
I can't go on.”

She scoffs,
“I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be ******* around”

“look,” he says, “I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you”

Some time passes
Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all
And these are the days that never end

Some nights she’s breathing fire
Some nights he’s carved in ice
Some nights she’s like nothing he’s ever seen before
or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know she can save him, no-one else can save him now but her
As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the bays are burning
As long as her dreams are coming true
She’d better believe it
he would do anything for love
he knows it's true and that's a fact
he would do anything for love
And there'll never be no turning back

I know now though
Nothing lasts forever
And even time will pass
She’s gone to the winds
Of seasonal doubt,
He’s in a mood
and already out,
she pleads as he packs
“stay!”

and he says back to her,
“Shall I stay, would it be a sin?
If I can't help falling in love with you. no,
Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my life
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This ******* you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all.”

“but…”
she puts her hand on his shoulder

He recoils,
“Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go

If I should stay
Well I would only be in your way
and yet I know
I'll think of you each step of the way”

She’s there crying on the kitchen floor,
Left to live her life,

Many weeks slipped by her mood
Passing through the avenues
She meets her man
Before either found anyone new.

So they take a hike
And at the peak she starts talking,
“At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock,
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.”

He opens up a little,
“No matter how hard I try
You keep pushing me aside
And I can't break through
There's no talking to you
It's so sad that you're leaving me behind
It takes time to believe it
But after all is said and done
You might be the lonely one.”

She says “Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough, no
Do you believe in life after love?”

He says, “I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
So send a smile and show you care

See the man with the lonely eyes
Oh, take his hand, you'll be surprised
Like the river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so we go
Some things were meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you”

She melts just enough to say,
“Just a little bit of love,
that is all we need for the second day.
Is it hard to be a friend,
for a little while in a simple way?
Just a little bit of love
and a friendly face makes the world look bright.
And a shining star above
will help you through the darkest night.

When you feel down,
don't sit and cry the whole day through.
Don't wonder why
it all must happen to you.
Put on your coat, come over.
No, it can't be that bad.
Put on a smile, don't look so sad.”

Then she asks, “Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life,
I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?”

“yes, I can do that
Oh I can do that” he answers

She continues,
“Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?”

He says, “I can do that”

Finally she asks,
“Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?”

“I can do that
Oh, I can do that.” he finally answers

She can’t believe it,
“After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on”

He holds on,
“No, I won't do that
I won't do that”

She finishes,
“I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be ******* around.”
Waiting for a reply…

He answers slowly,
Pacing himself,
Like it’s a race til death do us part,
“I won't do that
Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
No, I won't do that.”

It's hard to know from where you rang out, and how the tone changed from memory to sorrow. Perhaps all those little cuts from the knife of Aristotle came with a price. Or maybe the polygraphic wildlife detected in your letters, enough to stir the inner fabric of my womb, drew out the scent. This is more than obligation, child. This is about the seasons of force or choice. And how the aural disintegrations from your mouth sound so effortlessly submitted and submerged. I fear they've turned to acceptance, their floral remnants as besieged as a Sarajevo Rose. My love for you will never live on the margins. This love is a tree-lined battlement. An endless voyage on the barometric sea.

It's so hard to know from where you rang out. But worse, I suppose, to hear nothing at all. Nothing until ambulance day. And the words a mother should never have to endure.

It takes a while
before it will be over
with room for someone else
For now it is too empty

where you have always been
People soon forget that
when we have a chat
and laugh at something small

Your mother is great
She does what she can do
so without a man
You know the drill

the neighbour mows the lawn
He's really old
time and again he asks
where you have gone

But if I had known it beforehand
I would just as well have been in love
just as well be that woman
still in love with you

rain fell, in leaps and bounds
and you dissolved with the last of summer days

I see waves of gold - water that traps a fading sun. I see a shimmer - a spread of fractured light that drifts like a net that no longer steals from the ocean. I see your feet - toes spread and curled into the sand - holding you in place even if it is just for a moment. Your eyes - blue as the angels on the diptych - gaze across to places that embodies our separation. You have so much in fragments of beauty. The vast empty spaces are filled by nature’s broken parts and you - embrace it all. I can only imagine where you stand; the air you breathe; the scenes that lift your spirits - and I sink further into the recesses of my mind. If only my salt water was that of the sea. Mine - is closer to home as it cascades and travels through the heart and blurs.

His :

i make my travel
reseeding you
                my dear heart
                      into a compact unit of storage

i relieve from our nesting comfort
dismiss our established downey base of cooperation
                                   cleave from our snared compromise

instead to bed and thieve an unshared atmosphere
guilty joy followed by joyful normality
no stale thing

unravelling light
  lifted
(secure
  that I've a capsule world
  when i turn
  toward our lap again)

goodbye of you i am mended
made completely free
                    on the first turn of a corner


& Hers :

you leave me
      on your travels (you-were-my-travels)
you leave me susceptible
my heart alters to become
       a weak permeable tissue of easy tamper
       membership structure is dissolved
         returned to the vital spill
           welcome fluent contamination
               villainess and godless vibration
                  of the goddess confession

dress hooked up past my waist
i'll power-**** away my morality on day one
each day following shall be made easy
  ushered along in brutalities slip steam
                        and the prom of eddies

back in time i've been working on something..
       i'll call it The ****** List
criminal joys and tasks of double self daring
committed
     (not folded over
       or veloped in the knicker drawer)
           it operates as a basking lurk
                               tucked discreetly
                                 correct behind the eye
                      a charm feature of the unconscious
when released
   it's something melkish and larking with energy
   tacking harm to my activated mischief
      kinetic value and uncontrollable spur

in your absence
     i am permissionless
abyssless
i account for nothing

nooks of the apartment
the memory of us quickly forms a ***** coral
i've stopped washing to suit this mode
my body, a journal of stains and earned bruises
i holla and bay at mementoes of our brace
and then stop at the near point of the neighbours tolerance

time has crushed in on its own thesis
become gummy and tenseless
skipping about in haphazard spasms
  backstep, bow and reversal
     now
          observably organic in motion
           and proud of its many personalities

Oh, You're Back Again !
    no, it is your ghost
is it a spy ? ... i doubt you knew you even had it
it threads in and out of my company
seeming baffled and far from its comfort zone
did i put you there ?
i don't call you
the physical you
because you said 'no phones'
              and 'only in emergencies' (is-this-urgent ?)
Is This Urgent ?!
i restrict where i live in here
     keep the windows widowed and veiled
it makes for an unreal canvas
i'm weeding for a correction
sensual precarious highs
violate
in a spate
with this time alone
i'll make our home a vile space
a defication
and i can make no sense assessment of it any
i fight against digestion within these premises
i stay still long enough i am softened and palped
            by a dense atmosphere and salivations of contact
and outside..

the streets are exhausted
and i've quite the nasty reputation
violence, baiting and thievery
inebriation and toxic language
i shall soon be policed
no doubt i've lost my job
for now our place is a dare for vandals
             when i am an insensible heap
                 and perspiring over you in delirium
                    they devalue the exterior

unearthing
i'll find my creative sprite
that is good
i had missed it
now this is urgent (this-is-mine-was-always)
i take up a notebook and puke it full
i take sticks in my mitt and scrawl my charcoal visions
the blood visions
   the primal mud
  on all our walls

can i piece back our home by your return ?
can I sufficiently correct the blurring history I've smutted ?
do i care to ?
no more fading into 'partner'
lease is up
you'll not find me here destroyed
or waiting
    naked but an apron with my hands cupped and mouth open
i'll have ravelled myself up tight
- having stoked my inhuman malady -
     i'll mate my own travels

                                                        ­             - aborted