#selfsabotage poems on Hello Poetry

Alice Jul 2021

On nights like this,
Self sabotage is all I know.

I'll ruin the things I love the most,
Until I have exactly what I deserve:

Nothing.

#selfsabotage #pain #hurt #depression #bpd #borderline #disorder

Jason May 2021

Let Down

For someone like me
being told you're getting
exactly what you've always wanted
is like being told that you have
24 hours to live.

Because nothing I've ever wanted
really, actually, down-deep wanted
has ever worked out.

The more important something was,
the more ****** up the eventual outcome.

This self-fulfilling prophecy has been
more reliable than any family
member, friend, or lover has ever been.

It's never let me down.

#abandonmentanxiety #selfsabotage #selfdestruction #selffulfillingprophecy

Thoughtsonpaper Feb 2021

Thief of Joy

I rummage through dead leaves,
looking for any excuse to evaporate, like an abrupt mist into nonexistence.

I can justify my actions with one blink of an eye.
Regret does not sit in this mind of mine.
Would ruining my happiness make me complete?
No, it would not.
Yet I still chase it, like a gust of wind.

#selfsabotage

Aa Harvey Nov 2020

Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage; it’s all I know.
There is no way I am letting anybody get close.
Self-sabotage; it’s all I have got.
If you want my love then I will be sure to be gone.

Why try to love me? I can’t be loved.
Why try to like me? I have given up.
Why try to talk to me when I am mute?
Self-sabotage because I could love you.

I am a broken record who totally ignores,
Any possibility of ever being loved.
Say I am bored, when inside it burns to the core.
There is nothing in this world that is purely good.

Holding on to losing hope.
Sun still shines even when it snows.
In love with misery; happy with apathy.
So full of nothing; love being empty.

(C)2020 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

#me #life #selfsabotage #love #hurt #pain #silence #passion #hopeless #apathy

Sandy Palabras Aug 2020

Self-sabotage

Dear self,

I kneel before you not to let me stand in my own way.

#selfsabotage

Chris Calkins Jul 2020

Stuck

i'm stuck in this bomb of a body;
heels pressed into the knowledge
that things will always go wrong.
finger cocked on the hair-trigger that is my mind;
whether the blast will go inwards or out no one knows.
either way, the result will hurt everyone close
to this disaster that is me and myself;
the only thing i can be trusted to do
is sabotage my health -
i fail on purpose at everything else,

Note: This was written 8 months ago. I was in an abusive situation, and I'm out now. Things still aren't great, but it does get a little better from here on out.

#depression #mentalhealth #pastpoem #selfsabotage #complexptsd #triggering

Isabine Apr 2020

What Could I Do?

What could I do to push you away?
What would you do, if I hurt you?
Deeply
How could I shock you—with me?
How would it feel to be thrown away?
Again
How could I melt your smile?
How could I make you hate me?
Forever
Why do these thoughts keep blooming?
How come I can't believe anything lasts?
At all

#trust #trustissues #selfsabotage

Maurice Apr 2020

self-sabotage

You're like the villain in my own story
as soon as it seems good you reappear,
what was once so close is no longer near.

When I take one step forward, you take two steps back
two steps forward, four steps back
no matter where I go, I'm always trapped.

I stand on these crutches but others stand higher,
while they're looking ahead, I'm looking tired
I guess it's just how we're wired.

We've convinced ourself this is normal
"I'm just stuck in a rut!" but in actuality,
maybe I'm just a nut?

04/5/20

#self #sabotage #selfsabotage #epigram #nut

Tatiana Dec 2019

Sitting On My Wings

I'm sitting on my wings
and wondering why I can't fly.
Is there a doctor I can speak to
that'll diagnose my desire to die?

Do you know what it's like
to make believe all the time?
Do you know what it's like
to be stuck between death and flight?

I look up to the sky so blue
and see birds flying like I'm supposed to.
What am I doing wrong?
I raise my arms up, always reaching

for a helping hand
yet they slap it with glee.
I'm not here to cheer though I'm
proud can someone give me a boost.

I think I've got my
wings free.
I'll flap them to this
frantic beat.

Where did everyone go?
I'm not sure I know.
The rest of them flew here.
How am I alone again?
Grounded in the air.

I'm sitting on my wings
they're pins and needles not downy feathers.
They push into every single nerve
each time I try to fly.

Do you know what it's like
to make believe all the time?
Do you know what it's like
to be stuck between death and flight?

#depression #selfsabotage #flying #falling #death