"I'm being selfish anyway"

"So am I"

"I conciously know it, but will keep asking.
Will you change your mind?"

"My mind  keeps changing"

...

In a different life,
I would have waited,
Without the means to know,
To know of life or death,
To know of your happiness,
To know of your struggles!

Not in this life though,
Where you got swayed,
All the means at your end,
Never did you ask once,
How did I survive this world,
Where you left me alone,
So very alone?

Does crying out
in a blank world
make me selfish

Selfish to want someone
just so they can hear
my screams

I'm sorry I'm not a degenerate like you
But that's not my fault
But in your own warped minds
Filth

F Minus

Privilege child
Actions foul
***** lifestyle
Poor decisions made as he smiles

Black home
Friends gone
Parents tired
Of him using folks, then disowns

Choices bad
Women mad
Memphis child
Lost the trust that he had

Spending cash
$100 stacks
Behavior uncontrolled
Finance is where his knowledge lacks

Lack of care
Pulling back each layer
The pain he hides
Someone come send a prayer

Man-child is grown
Leaving a trail of loans
Selfish son
Refuse to pay back what he owes

Stays equip
Snorting strips
High all the time
On cloud 9 taking another trip

~
Cold cold heart
Frozen plumage
Like a peacock
Her ladyship
In the campfire light
Skating about the pond
Of her own vanity
~

Do you write for yourself?
Maybe in the hope that someone reads it?
Or do you create because you're supposed to.

There is only a brief and fleeting moment, never to be experienced again.
Where words flow on digital paper and I think about you.

You'll probably never see this; I don't expect you to Google my name.
But I wish you didn't have to and we could share this.
But that's not meant to be.

You're remarkable.
And I still love you.

So I guess this one is for me.