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For Humans

What is most perilous
& chaotic?
Is it the ghosts? The viruses?
?                 ?
  ?             ?
    ?         ?
      ?     ?
         ?
No
It is the self.

~~
The Self.
The Brain.
A hidden sage
a wrecking ball
a firestorm in silence.
~
No alien force
could match
the tiny brain
the mighty peril of the human.
Eight years passed, and just like that
I came back and saw all the written hearts in this app.
Devices I used to lessen confuse.
Now that I'm back, I saw where I was at.

I can't believe I can no longer relate
to all the notes I once wrote with hate.

I knew in the past that "this too shall pass"
But how wonderful it is to experience at last.

I've waited for this...
𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙, 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨
𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙙.
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I can't believe that just like that, everything's behind me. How amazing it is to experience a life that moves forward, everything that you once hoped. The healing you thought will never come, now all you remember was the feeling but bearable to live with. I'm grateful to every season God gives!
This morning I woke up
Stomach in a knot
My eyes adjust to the light in the room
I raise my hands to my face
I noticed my wrists as I do

I feel angry at myself

“I am fine, I don’t need any help
There are worse than I come on it’s been ages since I last cried”

I feel embarrassed, ashamed and full of regret
I hide the pain sketched onto my wrists
I try to forget that it exists

I tell no one about what I have done
I don’t need the help
The battle has been won
drive through me leave me bare, abandon me poor

thrive not, heart don't be full
more dis-ease please, get me more out of my essence, moo
me out of my God Given Throne fool,
i belong in the zoo.
show me how bad you can beat me past what I threw
five pieces of glass, my crew
i broke my own heart because i can't stand myself, whew!

i'm now reflecting how best i like my heart, i drool
five pieces of my heart needing some glue.

hive oozing honey stained with poo
i don't know how to nurture my worth so i demand that from you
an impossible feat, i like you prefer a toxic hue.

live deep down, i want more ease and juiciness... but ooh,
that's too much work, i want it on a silver platter, boo!
jive to my disdain you fool,
remind me of my inadequacies like it's in, new
tell me everything wrong with me like i always knew
may my most authentic self never see the view,
die, noone wants to know you, eew!
ouch!
Antonia 1d
drops of change
fill up life’s tank

your own waters are full of old versions of yourself
there’s layers
there’s mud and there’s sand
there’s old and there’s new
it’s warm and it’s cold
both lightness and darkness
they all lay beneath

don’t even hold your breath!

JUST JUMP!
I wish we would have the clarity to see that our complexity makes us unique and authentic. The moment we decide to dive in and embrace all of our layers and we honour each of them, is the moment we start to feel that inner peace. how can one appreciate the light, if they never have to experience darkness?
Grey 3d
I'm a liar
I do that to protect myself but so does the world

I'm a liar
I lie to people that frighten me

I'm a liar
I shake visibly when I do

I'm a liar
I lie to people I don't trust

I'm a liar
When I lie I beat my self for days,weeks,
months,years to come

I'm a liar
I wish you would understand me so I would stop

I'm a liar
I'm visibly disgusted by myself each moment I utter those words

I'm a liar
It's why I talk sparse

I'm a liar
Because its the only way I'll survive
That or keep mute

So I'll keep being silent or ill keep being the lier i soo hate to protect myself.

But I'm transparent
To the only person Willing to bare themself Free of judgement
To that person
I'm an angel of truth
Renee C Feb 11
Flesh pulls my soul from its core
With every fall of the sun’s breast.
I am a thief of its radiance,
Breathlessly clamoring for an insipid warmth-
I like roses, even though they smell like the bitter dirt.

I partake in the shedding of skin like a diaphanous veil
For all to witness my soft underbelly.
The first acceptance is sycophantic-
Fathers’ lust and mothers’ panic
Are wed in the same vein. This is my resignation to
A marriage as ancient as

The first rejection-
Desire, a hunger that abandons
My parasite of a resolve. My mind’s affection
Warped my size beyond its threshold, too dormant to digest
Love.

Isn’t feeling chagrin cruel?
I’ve learnt it from a life’s refusal
To crawl out of my glass house.
I like roses, even though they smell like the bitter dirt.
Unedited rambling
An eclipse right at noon,  
Daylight faded in swift.  
The whirl of life, haphazardly, spun—  
The night came before the shade could lift.  

He picked a mask he liked;  
Never did he take it off.  
Blood changed, adrenaline spiked—  
By a stranger, he himself was kicked off.  

This stranger lived with a new face;  
Some were disturbed by his change.  
In every test, he'd ace—  
A lock one would never hinge.  

He exists still, but not there;  
Doesn't care about the world.  
Yet thinks himself to be fair,  
A repeated mistake too old.  

And he shall know  
Of the mishaps he conceived.  
The melancholic days—a fierce blow;  
In no respect was he healed.  

That, he knew too, very clear;  
His soul had long been tainted to care.  
When asked for "the real you"—a sharp spear  
On masks of previous spin, could he stare.  

One day, a new air—  
This stranger was then caught.  
He sought an urge he couldn't bear,  
Struck by the truthful Failnaught.
Once you start wearing a mask, you lose "you"
When you take the mask off, a question arises—
Is this also a mask?
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