Nature

     Once upon a blue sky, laced with golden hues,
I laid my eyes upon a cloud, that reminded me of you
    And in the midst  of reckoning,  I saw your    
     smiling face,
Then like a wisp of smoke you vanished from this place

    I start to walk along a path full of cobblestone,   But couldn’t shake the feeling I wasn’t all alone
    In the depths of the treetops a spix called out your name,
Startled and confused, I too did the same

     Your voice seemed to whisper from the wind
      that blew my hair,
Reaching out to catch it, were you really there
    A warm and tender light, settled near my feet,
As if a long lost friend coming here to meet

    A light rain started falling, which sounded like
     your laughter,
I’m not sure the game nature’s playing, or exactly what she’s after
    But here along this path, confusion takes  
     control,
And all I really know is from me darkness stole

   My heart is in utter turmoil, its breaking me in two,
With the images that nature is pretending to be
you
   You’ve long since gone from here, with
     memories left unknown,
Like the flame from a candle after it’s been blown

   Once upon natures lie, her illusions made me
    see,
Lured in by nature’s mask, I lost myself completely

Oh, how much easier it is to drown,
To be scattered between winds and storms,
To be mere fragments in a raging ocean,
Than to have my path rewritten in the moment of a lover’s betrayal,
My loyalty slaughtered by disappointment.
Is this my true love?
My heart still recites poems in your shadow,
Still finds solace in your kindness—
Which of your pulses flows in my veins?
Your pain festers like a bitter betrayal,
Leaving its scars deep within me.
Have you forgotten you were once the glowing light of my heart?
Or did you simply ignore the flame of my love,
A fire that words fail to describe?
A love that, when it meets the salty sea,
Turns its ripples sweet.
O ungrateful one, I thought you were my healer,
My full moon in the darkness, my shield in war—
Yet you betrayed me with the malice of passion,
And carried the remnants of my loyalty in your hollow heart.
Go—
For you have shattered my heart.
Go—
And let my sorrow be your only memory of me.
I retreat into silence,
Writing my own elegy, my own epic.
Oh night, come to me,
For I have nothing but your solace.
If the moon shone for me,
I would not need its light.
Oh night, tell me, was he faithful to you?
The answer came: No—he betrayed you too.
You, my heart—do not tremble.
Tell me truly, did you ever love him?
Do you still beat with the warmth of his love?
If so, then you are not my heart—
You belong to him!
How can you, my heart,
Accept the wound of betrayal without protest?
He veils his ingratitude behind a shield of tears.
He plunged a dagger between my ribs
And then the wound deepened—
Blood flowed.
He pulled me from the heights
And cast me to the ground.
He stole my wakefulness
Yet gave me no peace in return.
A foolish fate trampled me under its weight.
My tears softened his eyelids,
Yet his lips never lost their smile.
Do I see the awakening of death,
Or merely the slumber of life?
Where is my despair?
It has passed—
As has my desire.
My existence is neither darkness nor light.
Everything that once was, is no longer—
And I am no longer me.
In the shade, I burn with the fire of the sun,
And my conscience pulls me toward a passion devoid of conscience.
And to where?
Do not ask, for I do not know my fate.
He destroyed me because I once loved him.
And even now, his love pulses within you.
You are not my heart—
You are his!

I could pretend I’ve got it together,
Feign ignorance,
Fake confidence.
I could lie and say im fine with it,
Choke on trickery,
Cheat each bit of me.
But the truth of it is simple,
I fell in love and you fell backwards.
I’m moving slowly and you are
Moving on.
I went off the rails and you just
Went home.

In payment for those moments
I gazed at the world through
Windows of midnight hue,
I am lost in wrecks of the mind,
With the tacit knowledge that
There is no fear without me.
It is within:
A flash of radiant light
Engulfed in black eclipse.

Late have I longed for it;
A flash, a wink, a whisper,
A thunderous roar, I seek,
To wrench my gaze of worldly things
And lay waste, at last,
These windows of midnight hue.

Late have I longed for it…
A flash…
A wink…
A whisper…

You are near,
crying in your arms,
because I cannot carry
your charms
to your seductive,
reductive grave.

Your form is an aura
I'll blind myself to,
wishing nothing
when it passes,
like an unseen star
through a void.

Thinking ahead
to those moments
generates anxiety and fear.

It feels like
I might open a box
of dire circumstances,
a basket of hassles,
for tomorrow
is so uncertain.

Similarly, the past
resembles a rug
stained with footprints
of mud, grit, and misdeeds
best described as guilt.

Self-reproach
obscures all awareness
of the present moment.

Peace exists;
it resides in my awareness
of now.

And in those moments together,
God concedes
that sadness and dark times
are assured.

These obligatory struggles,
though arduous to traverse,
are trials
that contain kernels of truth
for me to grasp

if I pay attention.