He breaks my heart
And peels my eyes
Open to the world,
No, I’m not a broken girl.

He’s the reminder
That my mask can be removed;
I don’t have to hide,
In him, I confide.

Emotional chaos
Disguised as playing victim.
He called out my delusion,
It was no intrusion.

He softens my feelings
But hardens my spine;
He nurtures me to health
And teaches me of my wealth.

Yes he breaks my heart,
He tears it wide open
So that the rivers may flow again.
He makes me feel whole again.

You never act like a boy,
or a girl,
You act neither,
let me give you some reminders:

You walk neither,
sway your hands in ambiguity,
don’t carry with you a briefcase or a feather duster –

Talk neither,
the tone of your voice must be the interim of everything,
if it would have colors it must be colorless,
not dark navy nor shallow pink.

Think neither,
meaning you think without personality.
you don’t scatter petals prior the arguments,
nor you hide stringencies behind moon blasts –

You become neither –
you call no one man, nor woman woman,
you call every one neither –

So smile neither,
meaning you don’t smirk,
or coyly carve a canopy on your face,

it’s offending.

You don’t want to offend anyone, do you?
Neither do I.

crazy as it may sound
but I can still feel you around.

pineapples still remind me of your smell
making me wonder whether you went to heaven or hell...
it must be hell.
for we've been partners in crime
and love criminals don't deserve to die prime.

oceans still mind me of your eyes
which were the same color as the morning skies,
the skies we used to stare at for hours,
the skies you live in now as one of the zillion stars,

and now there are just memories I hold on to
and a void in my life that can be filled by only you.
you left this world,
you left me behind,
and now I have one less friend
who was one of a kind.

We love each other broken,
and maybe that’s our curse.
I catch my reflection in glassy shards of you,
scattered across countless hotel room floors.

Mirrors,
relentless reminders
of the things we love
and can’t stand.

Everything and nothing.
Together and alone.
Here and there.
I can’t be in this body;

Exit stage left when bloodied soles
remind me of my inability to make you whole.
Imminent failure lingers over me;
a wet blanket putting out a fire
that was never meant for fighting.

it's going to
be a lonely
day without
him, my head
w h i s p e r e d.

           probably one of
           the best feelings
           ever in a long time,
           my heart r e m i n d e d.

there are voices in her mind,
constant echoes that bubble wildly,
telling her that she's not good enough.

it tricks her into thinking,
that maybe... just maybe,
she's really not good enough.

they tell her she's not suitable,
not for this not for that,
and she just happens to believe them.

as naive as she is,
she's quickly fooled,
for thinking she doesn't have the potential.  

but deep down,
passing the harsh reminders,
she really is good enough.