Philosophy will tell you that belief doesn’t equal truth.
That’s why belief in a religion doesn’t make its precepts true.
Knowing that, I guess I should have known better,
But I held to the time we agreed that my belief and faith made my religion real.
“Her god is real because she believes.”
“My god loves me because I love him.”
We smiled, and for a split second we both saw God,
But you saw YHWH, and I saw you.
Maybe I should have told you that.
Maybe I should have told me that.
Instead, I spoke to you in reverence, like a prayer,
And took your words as gospel.
Every time I touched you was a burnt offering in your name.
My belief and love was pure and true, but it didn’t change anything.
It didn’t make your love real.
I know that now; I’ve seen the proof.
I think I knew it all along.
So, I’ll return to my religion,
The god you saw will comfort me and love me.
He’ll never leave my side, so long as I believe it’s true.
I’ve not found anyone to disprove him yet.
Still, words on a page don’t compare to warm arms
Anymore than cheerful texts replace a smile.
I’ll make do.
Sometimes, though, a glimmer of hope slips through.
Sometimes, I wish my god was you.