your body will
wrinkle and shrivel
crack and deform itself
into a tapestry of frailty and age

what then, will you have?
your best feature taken away from you
no more wages paid - nobody wants elders

weep bitterly, for your life will speak for itself
a life of virtual prostitution, and for what?
notoriety? money? what for?

at the end of the day, you’ll have the light
a beacon of hope that guided you through
listen for it, and it’s still small voice

I don't remember the moment that we met...
It was the year of that breath of freedom but
we're both aware of the story that ensued:
the dreaded lockdown that sent us to despair.
But it was over the phone that we would still
speak on together and on and on we went.
Three 'ours; these hours would pass through time until
the norm remembered by us had now been bent
and twisted into something tot'lly new:
a calming thing.
A strange yet charming thing that broke the norm we grew to be accustomed to.
And though, in lieu of all I thought I knew,
I come to think
of how this change so scared me that I threw it all away, and hence lost you.

I still remember the moment when it would come to end...
I wonder now what had God left me to be.

I wished you yelled at me
Strike at me, scream at me
Curse me with all the words
Look at me with hatred or disgust

Instead

You stayed quiet
And you let go gently
Whispering those words again
With eyes of hope and heartbreak

Why?

Why did you still love me?
Why did you make this harder?
Why was ending this so **** difficult?
Why did you not end up hating me for it?

Oh

Now I understand
It was hard for both of us
But you were able to live with it
While I can't live with my own choice

I still mourn for you
Although you're alive
Living a normal life
I mourn for the future
That had you in it
I mourn for the death
Of the dreams we had
Crying every night
For a love lost once
I mourn for the version
Of us smiling together
I am pleading with anyone
Bring back what is gone
Because I am tired
Of mourning the loss
Of whom I loved

Guilt, guilt, guilt
As far as I can see

Weight, weight, wait!
Its crashing down on me

Shame upon my name
Rehabilitate with blame

Change, change, strange
Things still stay the same