Wake up.
Put your mask on.
Make yourself invisble to pain.
Dont break.
Dont cry.
Dont fall.
Dont smile to much.
Dont be to happy.
Dont talk to much.
Dont look anyone in the eye.
Dont show emotion.
Dont feel..

Make yourself look perfect for a person.
Make yourself look "good enough"

Dont eat to much.
Dont talk to certain people.
Dont be friends with this person.
Dont get good grades.
Dont be better than someone else is.
Always stick below everyone one else.

Dont be noticed to much..

Go home.
Cry.
Throw something.
Make yourself look not perfect.
fall to the floor.

Talk of the town,
Face of the day,
Gossip of the night,
Her eyes always puffy and red,
Her mouth always wobbling
but that doesn't stop her
from being talk of the town.

Talk of the town,
Face of the day,
Gossip of the night,
She remembers why she's seen
like a rat, or spider,
and everyone avoids her but
she's closer and closer.

Talk of the town.
Face of the day,
Gossip of the night,
A body is found in a river,
Was it suicide or ****** or just
an accident?
One thing is for sure:
She is the talk of the town,
Face of the day,
Gossip of the night.

I miss how your skin feels
When it's pushed up against mine.
With your fingers running
Through my hair
And your lips on my lips.

One hand on my neck,
One of my hands on your hips.
Pulling you closer for one more kiss.

Falling asleep with our
Legs intertwined.
My head on your chest
With a heart that's blind.

The goosebumps you give me
Run down my spine.
As you tell me you love me,
Our hearts align.
Although, it's momentary.

I wish we could stay here,
Forever and always.
In this moment of love
And comfortable daze.

I get the word Rejection tossed, as if it scares me!
As if i've never been rejected, as if rejection is new like the new world Christopher discovered… huh oh wait.
As if I’ve never felt it, Seen it, Been a part of it.
Rejection is fear…
Rejection isn't fear if you don't allow it. Rejection can be try again.
Rejection can be that girl or that boy, how about rejection can be that person because it sees no face sees no color
It sees… it sees and it doesn't care
Rejection is all around.
Rejection by others is not as bad as my own rejection.
My own rejection to try, to sing, to dance, to be happy
you see my friend
your rejection is nothing, but motivation
You might whisper it behind my back, but I need you to understand I use to scream it to my face!
You can't!
Don't try!
I hate you!
I want you to die!
You’re so ******* pathetic!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop…
Rejection now to me, means try harder.
Unless you have been told by someone no, then it means chill the **** down and no
Because there is nothing sexier than consent.
Because love is blind…
Now before i get off topic
let me bring it back
But not back to Vegas
But back to me
Because I've been tossed and I've been pushed
And I have pushed and I have shoved
And you see i'm alive
And have survived
So don't use the word rejection and try to bring me fear… because this aint no fear factor
Life just has a funny way of telling you to get back up
So get back up
Now before you try and bring me down bring me down from the one step I took, but only one because you see I am scared…
But not of rejection, but of heights..
3/10/14

Blankness*

Such a wonderful thing
Yet so blissful and terrible
At the same moment

And it's hard to know
If they want to hear my thoughts
Or if they are simply pushing me down

Down down down I'm dragged,
Until I only know who cannot be trusted
And then a light

But it is not pure
Only one to deceive me
And it hurts to think
That my "friends" have all made
This life so confusing

But I found light
With a friend that's a boy
{Do you have a problem with that?}

And he's really nice
But he has a girlfriend
And soon after our seats change
He is off to practically
Ignoring me

Struggling through class without him
Is like breathing without oxygen

And when that day comes
When he finally talks to me again
I know that I will have something to gain

I allways try to care, at the wrong time
I'm trying to be there, but you're stopping me

I'm just trying to help

I will offer you hugs to make you feel a little bit better, but you don't pay attention

I'm just trying to help

Why should I even bother anymore
All you do is push me down
All you do is push me aside

I'm just trying to help

It's almost midnight
It's been so long
Since I've seen the light
The light of joy
The light of no care
Please come back light
This is not fair
I sit in the darkness
Regretting the past
I sit here and stare
At the time that passes me
Fast
I can't keep up
It's just not possible
I think it's unfair
But I know I am responsible
Responsible for the things I've done wrong
For the people I've hurt
The people I've pushed away
the darkness surrounds me
I think it's here to stay
i am so very tired
I am all on my own
And now i know the feeling
of being alone

Someone once told me;
stand up once more
than you are
pushed down.
But what if I
no longer have
the strength
to keep
standing
up?