to the land, to the sea
it talked to me, showed me another
version of
myself lying in the
flow of the creek;
adrift

I watched on log covered
in moss;
“Who is that.. and where is he going?”
I wondered

Off the cliff of
Silent Waterfall;
heavy misty rain on the way down
will he land in world of dreams?
To glorious to even comprehend?

Or was it just
a splash at the bottom?
And his spirit kept flowing
until he fell ashore

the beauty of life
and it’s **** question
we’ll never know
until we know

And what have I done, a heart on the floor, down for the count,
knocked out by one single flaw. Bathed in light, then a shower
of stars, my dawn breaking into tremors. Oh how she startled
my soul, and moved me like an earthquake—but I should have
known, every quake leaves cracks behind.

And so I drained these tears into a teacup, she smelled of coffee—
a buzz I thought I could hold onto, but a high that would crash.
Still it was more than a crush, but still it crushed me, in her
absence.

And it's a chest searching for her heart, it was that treasure to be
in love. Her crystal tears pierced like glass, diamond skin shining
against the night. I kissed her softly like petals once— a flower
crying toward the sun, wings stretching, fragile, open.

And she never sinned against me, but I sinned for both of us—
wasting our time, cursing the very love I swore to keep sacred.
She covered me in kisses like a new born, but this child grew too
far, too fast, away from her arms.

Now these tears run cold, drying out the rain. And still, their
beauty remains— washing it all away, even the memories of pain.

Gaze fixated on the small window,
the screen blinks—
But eyes don’t.

Laze dissipates at the sound of notifications,
eyes glimmer—
But the screen won’t.

Lows disguised as highs that never show.
The screen goes dark,
so do the eyes—

curves reaching,
While you fall apart.
Never meeting,
While you collapse, alas!

So close, yet so far
Like a planet to a star
Whiskey to the glass
Hyperbola to the graph.

                                              -Asher Graves

I saw her the other day
Tried to avoid her
Hoping she would not see me

My friend called me over
I could have walked right past her
To get to his desk
But i took the long way around

He asked about my birthday
Even though he was there
He asked about my grandparents
Even though he already knew

I kept my voice low
Not wanting her to hear
Still, my eyes found her
Just for a moment
And it shattered me all over again

I cannot process
How she is so unfazed
How she has erased our history

How she has simply let go.....

Oh, to give a dam—much like a lake, its waters
held back, silence breaking my spine. All of my
worries are so high; walled off like Kariba—
****; the young grow old faster than you
can say the word— telling jokes, but even
a straight path smiles with crooked teeth.

Hope laughs at itself, when it forgets to believe.
And what’s one more injury in a whole lifetime,
lest you hang yourself with the very lifeline
you cling to.

0808 4116 is the helpline; but on an island
of despairs, what becomes of a landline—
when your thoughts are rigged like landmines,
waiting for the wrong step to set them off.

Watch your step. Hope lives in an arena, fighting
to be heard through the noise. And anything worth
holding onto is something worth bleeding for—
But it will demand you take your licks, like a kitten
burning through lives, losing a few before it learns
what survival really is.

So don’t litter your worth on the ground.
Guard it. Nurture it. As a mother cat does
her litter— fragile, trembling, but alive.

Hope, this is going to come across like I’m being a tad bit ungrateful.
But I swear I’m not.
I know what you’ve done.
I know who you’ve been to me.
But I need you to understand that sometimes,
I think you are an absolute ****.

You are relentless.
You show up when I want to give in.
When I want to close my eyes and go to sleep,
and never wake again.

HOPE, you come to me in moments when I feel like I’m done.
This is the last battle, and I didn’t win.
I’m okay with that.
I want to lose.
Just LET ME LOSE.

Let me lay here on this cold, ***** floor.
Let me catch hypothermia, lose my toes.
Let me close my eyes and drift away.
Let me sleep for eternity.

Knock.....Knock
Who’s there??
It’s me. HOPE!
GIRL!
Why are you here? WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
They won’t stop knocking me down,
and you keep bringing me back up
just so they can knock me down harder.

I got up enough times.
LOOK AT MY KNEES.
LOOK!!!
Look at my fingers
where I’ve dug them into the earth
just to get on my feet again.

STOP!
Just stop with “there is always tomorrow.”
It WON’T be brighter.
It WON’T be better.
You’re a liar.
A ******* LIAR!!!
I hate you.
Just go away, Hope. Please.

…

Wait.
Wait, HOPE, I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean that. I really didn’t.
Hope… thanks for always showing up.
Thanks for being there.
Thanks for not letting me wither away.
Thanks for not letting me wallow in my misery.
Thanks for being relentless.

My dearest HOPE,
without you, they would’ve all won.
But because of you,
I get one more chance to say
*******, I’m still here.

Now,
this doesn’t mean I still don’t think you’re a **** sometimes.
Visit me soon.
I know I will need you again.

my heart is under
attack and i
am hanging by
a thread

i try to cope,
and now i
choke on words
i should regret

i set my boundaries,
and now i feel
imaginary

like an unfinished
painting, the brush
lays there just dripping
reds and blues

just looking for a
different palette,
a different hue,
to give me a clue

it’ll change for
the best

now my heart is
under arrest

and i know life
is full of surprises
and tests

the sun will rise,
and the clouds will
lift

i have to keep my
spirits up

open my eyes,
and hope i won’t
collapse—
but rise instead
under the stress