Its sick
remedy
of a poem
deathly wished
of no kiss
in the end

Floating,
through madness,
A mirror cracks,
becomes sadness,
frozen snow flakes

I know she is alive,
inside of guilt,
and I scream
so hesitantly,
a wall I built
To linger my drive.

A book never read,
unlike freshly baked
oven cooked bread
upon a silent's wake.....
pages looked upon,
by a gentle lake.......
man created.

What's left,
memories,
frozen to the spot,
until forgotten.....
And all destroyed
Is pride and me.

In the depth of midnight's embrace,
dreams cascade like love poems
each one speaking your name.

My pulse writes Morse code messages
you'll never decode, as hope
flutters like a moth against the darkness.

While Ink bleeds through pages,
My confessions staining paper
with the weight of unsaid things.

Our laughter echoes in memory's great hall,
but I dance alone with your ghost,
spinning through empty spaces.

These shadows hold secrets
That I dare not speak aloud,
while dawn mocks my silence.

I craft symphonies in your name,
melodies trapped behind my teeth,
As harmonies are swallowed whole.

This love burns quietly,
like stars too distant to touch,
yet still I reach out.

weaving dreams from wisps
of what could be,
if only you would notice.

©️Lizzie Bevis

Once, you leave again
Are my wounds bigger than me
An outline contains

The greatest pain
I have ever known
is the pain of motherhood

When my Sunshine is crying
and there’s nothing I can do,
or worse,
because of what I’ve done,
it feels unbearable,
and yet

my mother
and all mothers before her
bore this pain.

Motherhood begins with pain,
and lives alongside it.

Is such a dark foil necessary
to appreciate its joys?
I think not...
There is nothing brighter
than my Sunshine’s laughter.

But then again,
I’ll never know.
I’ve only ever seen their brilliance
set against this darkness.

Please forgive me
I don't know what's happening
It's too loud in my head,
I can't see beyond this feeling
Please forgive me,
I'm trying to find aid
Sometimes it works well,
It's worth what I've paid
But sometimes it just fails
Nothing I try works
I'm yelling like a monster
I've never felt this berserk
Please forgive me
I realize what I've done,
Only after the fog passes
After the fears have won.
Please forgive me,
I hope there is medication
Meditation's an option, I hear,
God, I need a vacation
From all of this noise,
My head feels so tight
I can't hear my voice,
Or my thoughts, or what feels right!
Please forgive me,
This is beyond my control
I didn't ask for any of this,
I just want to feel whole
Please forgive me
I wish you could relate
I wouldn't wish this upon you
I dare to wish for a better fate
Please forgive me,
This isn't an excuse
I will gladly run away,
I will gladly be a recluse.
Please forgive me,
I'd change my brain if I could
Why was I made this way?
Why can't I work like I should?

A crippling heaviness
Enters the room
I’m trembling
I break out in a cold sweat
The dolls on the stand
Are securely locked in their case
Their sad eyes watch as he
Inches closure and silent screams
Fill the space.

He whispers violent things
And spits in my face.
I succumb to his lingering words
As I forget how to breathe
I lost my voice
It know belongs to him.

These earthquakes come and go
Awakening the anger within
I drank the poison from the fire of your lies
It burnt, but I kept drinking
Because it's all I've ever known.

Your color turned gray
I struggle to the surface
With an anchor the size of my guilt
Pulling me under the entire way up
So full of life we once were.
When your heart was in the right place
Or so you made me believe.

Sister and mother despair
Building castles in Spain
They take the threshold
May their glory reign
They disappear for awhile
strolling down memory lane
And return only with
Their decaying growing pains
One gave birth to the fire
The other the Descendant of flames.