I awake ; decanted
I inhabit an orphan creature now
did my parents just die ?
or is this just some feeling
brought over from
my brother world of slumber
I sit up
scratch itches
and tend to my waking head

this obsession that consumes and burns within me
is it love, true, unconditional, the kind in fairytales
or limerence, intoxicating, ephemeral, lasting only 900 days
the moment i pledge my highest love, i face my greatest fear

when i fall to sleep at night, you are my last thought
the first when i wake, then all day long
kiss me, sweetly, softly, eternally, promise never to stop

wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, like a scared child
show me your love, prove it to me over and over again
kiss me, on the lips, tenderly, so i can feel your pulse

whisper, in my ear, tell me the lies i want to hear
share with me, the secrets, deep in your soul
faint echoes fading in a wishing well

kiss my lips, my cheeks, ******* tears
undress my dear, bare your skin, your soul, let me see you whole
let me taste your tears, i promise never to leave

run your fingers through my hair, feel its softness, smell it’s sweetness
do you remember, when we first slept together
scared children, orphaned, hugging each other tight, all night

i need to feel you against me, your breath on my neck
your scent, enveloping, penetrating deep within me
hug me, cradle me, rock me gently into security

The devil, he may sin,
But he's a southern gentleman,
With open doors,
His home is yours,
No God's more welcoming,
Than him.

how does the brain of a mermaid look like?
not like mine
not like mine
invisible like me
                    I can't become a myth
I want to escape
                    become a lost child again, an orphan by choice
I want to erase it all
                    even the dreams I never had
reality took me everything
reality is not everything
between my ego and my fears
I'm just invisible
I can't look past others
I can't look back
I thought my heart would save me
                    but he came with me
I thought we would be good together
                    but he is just as ******* lost as I am

From the heavenly embers the phoenix rises.
It opened its scarlet eyes and saw the world blanketed in darkness.
Its cries reverberating in the dim valley, paternal love it sought.
Woe is the phoenix for not a creature came and all it did was for naught.

With tears in its eyes till sunrise it waited.
Filled with indignation the phoenix flew.
For it realized that as a newborn it was cheated.
With only the support of itself the phoenix grew.

Time passed peacefully in the valley.
The phoenix' wings have now grown fully.
Then the phoenix’ adventurous spirit was suddenly ignited.
With newfound courage the phoenix soared, clearly it is excited.

It was fearful yet ecstatic for the world full of the unknown.
The phoenix said farewell to the place it once had grown.
It desired to wander the world hoping to meet with its kin.
The phoenix is very lonely and hoping for one’s happiness isn’t a sin.

Many beasts quickly hid when they saw the phoenix near.
When they saw the flames blazing they can only shiver in fear
Sighing with regret for it wants to make a friend.
But fate has been cruel and fear was its desire’s end.

It traversed thousand of mountains
And experienced countless rains
It hoped and prayed fervently to the glorious entity above
To grant its wish, to experience love

To be continued...

I never heard you, but I hear you.
I never held you, but I feel you.
I never knew you, but I love you.

Look into my eyes,
Tear and fear lives in me,
Sense of love has lost its meaning,
They said it on that day,
Rest in Peace from the loads of this world,
Was I the load?
Every night behind the large screens,
In a folded ball,
Crying with heaviness in me,
I miss the feeling of your lips on my forehead,
Why did you choose to leave me…?
Every day, mom dad I need you,
Touch my skin,
Feel the hungry days I’ve had,
They say I’m an orphan’ who are they anyway?
I’m a lost kid,
Seeking for acceptance…
A kiss on the forehead before a nap,
Tell me that you love me’
Tell me that I’m a kid like any other,
Remembering that day as though it’s today…
You turned solid and lost hope,
For us and our future’
The shadow of you is gone,
Though second chances exist. ☺

my eyes at sunset,
a warmth snuggle to my back;
orphaned mongrel’s love!

a wayside mongrel,
tries to sell itself to me;
poignant its antics!

Seasons change and leaves had browned.
Here i am sitting, hoping for a single sound.
Flowers begin to wither away
I thought it was just any other day.

A year has passed
I never knew that conversation would be the last.
The yelling, the screaming.
God, just give me some meaning!
Im exhausted Lord, i need advice.
Why was my mother to be a sacrifice.

Lord i love you, but why so much pain?
My eyes are full of vision, but what do i gain?
Mother, father, are you there?
I feel you everywhere.
The smell of amber and vanilla i think of you.
You are gone but still here too.