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The girl of my dreams claws desperately at the windows of my soul as I impose her will onto canvas, the only time she is free and seen and heard. The only time she is known. I am her chisel; she is my hammer. Necessity is the artist.
I saw a picture someone drew and it made me think when I draw a woman's face or body WHO IS SHE? WHO AM I DRAWING? WHY DO I FEEL SO COMPELLED TO EXTRACT HER IMAGE FROM MY MIND??

Probably because she is all I dream about,
That's where you learn to feel
Where you learn to accept
Learn to let go
Learn loss and gain
To fight and die quietly
To hold yourself
To carry your burden
To learn you don't have to
To forgive yourself
Where you learn yourself
Learn solitude and to cherish
To find hope in the dark
To learn love is not always beautiful
That sometimes its ugly and hurts
But it's there
Waiting for you
When you need it most
Like when you're alone.
27 years of experience
Here.
Now.
You are not.
I am still
Every moment is a gift
I could write
a million poetries
filling a
hundred thousand books.
Though I fear
I'd only succeed in wasting
what's most precious.

My time.
My love language was everything.
I no longer speak.
All I've left is write.
Taking steps back
I found my way home

It's time that I lack
Bare down to my bone

If this is my path
Let it not be my own

These crowns that I cast
As I run to The throne


Amen
Thank you Father
And they're not fond of me.
"I should love my self." The thought had not dawned on me.
My fury is cold and weeping
My hatred is remorse and sorrow full
My will, though broken is fixed
Only part of me is beautiful.
The broken bits and pieces you find yourself in.
Mind like water
Because I'm not beautiful
Empty as this page. Fulfill you is my wish.
Shooting for your stars, **** me if I miss.
This
And
That

But it wouldn't mean a thing
From me
Adverse effect/affect
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