I fall back to zero
when I try to be your hero
A wasteful approach
Falling back on my watch.

I tried my best,
Till the end of the crest,
Yet the progress,
Was nothing to raise.

Talking to you all night
Once restored my pride.
Now I am holding myself tight,
As now I am nothing but a stringless kite

Now I am the fallen knight
yet I knew I was right
The sleepless glare
Show that I still care

Slowing down is my only choice,
As all feels nothing but noise.
I just need one chance,
Or at least a glance
So I ask you to come back
Cause I see all black

i let the sparks fly.
consuming my head,
the way you felt in my hands —
our flame could never cease to exist.
i inhale your smoke with no second thought,
letting you turn my lungs black.
the lighter to my cigarette,
but i never coughed out the smoke that you made me inhale;
it tasted so sweet, like lavender.

if i could feel you one last time,
i'd let you take me, take me away.
take my body, turn my heart black
if that's what it takes.
take my soul and wipe it clean
with those flaming fumes
that draw me to you.
the smell of lavender, the sweetness you once gave
now turns black; my lungs are no more,
but i still want more.

take me.
take me, i said.

each tear shed
is for the memory of our last kiss.
if not love,
i crave the pain —
make me feel something.

each drag a prayer,
prayer for this flame to never run out;
each tear a confession,
confessing that maybe i'm looking for something that once was.
waiting with a burnt-out lighter
in the hand you used to hold.

My Dear,

I’m tongue-tied — I may not be able to say much. It’s been a long time since I looked into your eyes. In the rush of the day we never find a single quiet moment for ourselves.

If I speak, you’ll tell me you have no time for these childish whims. Fine — I’ll stop saying it. But if you ever feel like it, put out the dim light in your room and stare, blank-eyed, at the ceiling for a while. Maybe then you’ll feel what I feel; maybe you’ll see what’s inside me, and notice how wide the distance has grown.

What do you think? That I’m only being cryptic? You see nothing but darkness. There is no place left for jokes — my days and nights are full of nonsense.

Go ahead, add a couple more complaints to the list. Lately I’m beyond ordinary sorrow; call me an enlightened sage if that comforts you. I won’t tell another lie — I’ll try to speak only what’s true from my heart. No — I will tell you nothing but the truth. These sleepless nights have become unbearably irksome.

I’m tongue-tied; I won’t explain the reasons to anyone. You needn’t worry. Keep living your life as you do. I’ve learned a new craft: weaving stories — many lies, a little truth, and mostly imagination.

Enough of that. I’ve rambled so much I forgot the real thing I wanted to say: I miss your smile. I miss it a great deal. Without it, your face looks hollow and empty.

Always,
Someone

Due to the emptiness within me,
I start to feel an  irrepressible lust for you,
Your oh so violent words and scary demeanor,
I lust for your blonde hair,
The smell of beer that never seems to leave you,
The sweet smell of kindness blended with meanness,
The metallic taste of power,
The sorest aftertaste of *******,
An irrepressible desire to **** the violence out of you,
To embrace it,
To coax it,
Choose me,
Recognize me,
Make me your thing,
I will forfeit my life,
And go wander around the world with you,
The wind will push us to the edge of the world,
And when you are tired of me,
You can just push me out,
Let my body deject into the deep of the ocean,
Will it be sweet?

I saw a depressed clown haggling
at the flea market for balloons—

Joy marked down to a clearance price;
he holds onto second-hand laughter,
and a fragile piece of air tied to rubber skin.

By each nightfall he flees, on a rusted
scooter cutting through town, and his
balloons trailing like tired moons.

The crowd never cheered him on —
as he carried the silence anyway with him

Awaken refreshed, hush the alarm, time for another caper,
cuddle with the kitty, good morning, my fuzzy lil slayer!

Feed the furballs, cereal for me, start the coffee maker,
may be a good day today, at least it looks good on paper.

Drain the main, check the mirror, what-up my playa—
wait a sec, is it my self-hate, or am I a little greyer?

Inhale my morning nicotine with a sugary caffeine chaser,
hazelnut and doubt, mmm, that's my favorite flavor...

Brush and shave, step into the Hypothetical Argument Simulator,
hope follows soap down the drain—oh well—see ya later!

All dressed up, glance to verify the happiness imitator,
hold my chin up high, but only for the cologne sprayer.

Front door locked, start the car, on the lookout for hidden radar,
try to outrun the bitterness, traffic jam, wish this were single-player.

Make it to work in one piece, if just the outer layer,
brain boiling beneath, my good old trusty traitor.

She lost perspective before she met the glass,
Braces on lips like wine, a fleeting stain.
Golden hair pulled too tight, youth locked in place,
Slipped like coins into the senex’ fragile purse.

Concealed in lockets, veiled from prying eyes,
Alluring hunters sought her tortured grace.
Through dusty rafters, golden strands would rise,
Brushing his scars beneath the public’s gaze.

No one regarded the banker’s loss or coin;
Old men still scattered mints upon the floor.
Some whispered fate had favored her to join,
Others claimed the devil had opened the door.

The wise, unmoved, declared with measured breath:
All that has come is better—even death.