Today I Would like my
Coffee black, with no milk
Please!

do you believe in haunted dreams?
not nightmares
but haunted dreams..
because I do.
and that’s because you haunt mine.
every moment of them.

and you haunt my reality.
every waking second is filled with the need to reminisce.
even when I run your scent just seems to follow.
to escape into any type of solitude would grant my unspoken wish.

so I sleep.

but even then my dreams are tinted with
the feeling of nostalgia.
yet it is not from anything I can recall..
to be missing something I never had at all
is a special kind of hell.
you’ve tainted my dreams
as though you’ve put me under a spell.
and it’s weakened me.
leaving me
screaming upon deaf ears
I wonder if my voice will make it out of this fog
you’ve brought.

everything is clouded with
the abyss of you.

you’ve tinted my dreams
in the color
of you.
drugged me and got me hooked.
now if my dreams aren’t tinted with you,
they’re nothing
but bare black walls.

‪I wish I could cut my brain into pieces‬
‪and not as a last resort.‬
‪Cut out the sadness,‬
‪the bad memories, ‬
‪the part that never listens,‬
‪all of it. ‬
‪The person looking back in the mirror ‬
‪is more than willing ‬
‪to give up anything as a sacrifice.‬

‪-mD‬

A  lady  stares  blankly  ahead:
Ignoring  everything  in  her  stead,
Inhaling  the  adulterated  room  air,
Taciturn,  stiff,  certain,  or  maybe  scared.

Still  as  a  rock  –
Calm  as  a  lake  –
Strong  as  a  dock  –
But  those  are  all  fake.

Inside  her,  a  war  is  waging.
Beasts,  monsters,  and  heroes  –
all  fighting.

For  the  longest  time,
Her  mind  has  been  running  wild.
Her clock  is  ticking
Yet  no  one  is  winning.

Not  one  bloc  is  determined  to  fall
Because  all  she  does  is  feed  them  all.

/pc

I see you and I see a mix of thousands of emotions trying to get out, but all that you can manage to show me is your depression. You are an amazing woman, you put on a smile all day and come home trying to resist the urge to cut. And I'm not much help, I can only text you every so often and I can't talk to you face to face and show you what I feel for you. I'm just one of the small emotions swirling in the mass of them in you head and heart.

I had a friend since third grade. A friend who will remain nameless for the sake of a promise.
She was my best friend
With adventure never to end
Until she left for a new adventure
Then I had a new state to venture
Until we decided to get in touch
But maybe it was a little to much
When we decided long distance
She was my existence
But then she told me her story
And though it was a bit gory
It made us closer
But I felt like a poser
When I couldn't talk
I had to walk
With the thought
That it was heartbreak I taught
Until I sent her a text
And then a next
Trying to get back what we had,
Hope, but the attempt was bad
Cause she told me we were done
But in the long run
I miss her

Here is the ballad of Web MD,
Self-diagnosing terminal maladies,
My fatal afflictions linger on,
I'm buying more medical texts from Fishpond.

Let's do our own diagnosis,
Teach yourself self-hypnosis,
My fatal afflictions linger on,
I'm buying more medical texts from Fishpond.

Let's sing our ballad of  MD,
Sure we've got terminal maladies,
My fatal afflictions linger on,
I'm buying more medical texts from Fishpond.

That was the ballad of Web MD,
What are today's self-diagnosis,
My fatal afflictions linger on,
I'm buying more medical texts from Fishpond.

Monsters crawl in the dark crevices in my brain.
Let me go! Leave!
I'm so tired!
Do you know what it's like reader?
Your eyes scan these words but do you understand?
Young girl, boy, old woman, man, do you?
I wish I knew if you could relate.
Do you know what it's like to exist in a world that doesn't exist.
The real world is just outside but I can't escape my own.
Monsters are everywhere.
Seeping in, scratching at my door.
I let them in every time.
They simply tell me to.
I can't escape..
I want all thoughts to leave my mind and let me be.
I want to go back and not be so alone.
I felt so alone.
That is why I created the monsters.
Only to keep me company.
I was a lonely child.
Everyday I would wake alone.
Every night I would sleep alone.
I was alone.
I was a lonely child.
Loneliness in turn raised me.
It nurtured the monsters.
The monsters shaped me.
I wish I could go back and not be alone.
Loneliness is deadly.
I was lonely for too long.
I was lonely for too long.