There are certain words...
Like, depression
Cancer
That become the mascot
For their particular affliction
An all encompassing bubble,
Hepatoma,
Doesn’t mean much
But liver cancer, now that’s a whole nother matter

Just simply using the word
Gives rise to panic.         Anxiety
It makes sense,
That non experts can’t know every type of
Illness or mental disorder out there
So they associate it with a mascot

But,
It’s all the unessesary hype
And fear
The baggage that comes with it
Not as many, knew about zeka
But Ebola?
That was all over the news
Despite being far less of a threat
Simply because,
It became the mascot

Have you decided it?
The name of your mascot?
The hair colour? The eyes?
The hair style? The skin tone?
The character race? Nationallity?
Have you?

"Just do it as you wish" — that's how you respond to my question
But no, I won't do that
Because for me — Original Character or Mascot is something that resembles you the most
Why do I bother myself to make one for you?
Because no, I'm not too good in writing, also in english — far below your ability, I often do some grammatical errors
But I'm quite good in expressing my feelings, memories, emotions on drawings — a picture that represent a thousand words

And for me who have been living a lie — hiding behind this fake smile, my world is an empty place
But you've seen the other side of me, and instead of leaving you nurture it
You give me strength with these memories, my feelings with you
That was the the realest side of me, where I finally can be honest to myself

So please, answer my question
And let me draw your mascot
Let me believe that it's true, our memories, our feelings, our emotion
Then carve these beautiful memories of us eternally, where I can find it really lively when I started to get drowned again in my living lie

Because without you that memory is nothing more than just an imagination

If I can say one thing to you, a final word, all I would be able to mutter is the word "disappointment".

My body shakes so much because my soul is constantly on the verge of collapsing, and more than one word would allow the goo to flow right out, to drown you.

And in some ways, some where along the road when I so happen to run into you, I know it will be different.

And yes, because we have changed, and because we always have been different, even the humidity couldn't evaporate the facts.

But just wait, maybe there's a chance, a cork in the old bottle of mascot might just save the rich flavor we once had, maybe even make it stronger after a few years.

For now, I will leave a candle in my window every night, because even without my sun, I have a flame that is bound to catch fire somewhere else in the dark.

-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-