Oh my rose in bell jar!
From time to time I watch you from afar,
Keeping you in my peripheral vision
avoiding the precision
to acknowledge your decaying red;

But I notice
You've become more lively
in this unbearable gray time,
Tell me
is it your favourite crime
to mock my remaining solitude?
Isn't suggesting doubtful hope
to a dying person start of a cruel dispute?

Ah! I've known that cruelty you're trying so hard to resurrect,
You were the witness once
And You know he was the only one
That ever charming prince on a white horse
Seemed like a promising escape from my fancy confinement, eh?

With a swooning smile he bought my hospitality
And I fell in hope,
He claimed he had never seen such a beauty
Oh I wish I told him then
this beauty will last
till her awaited twenty first;
Forbidden to leave the cage
doomed with a witch's rage;

That could've spared me
from this additional catastrophe
of heartbreak;

Let me continue;

Soon shy smiles and secret glances
bloomed into hearty laughs and sensual dances
And I had never felt more beautiful in anyone's presence;

My gloomy fort now welcomed these festive winds
And I giddily waited for my blossoming spring ;

But somebody should've told me that nothing feels bitter
than the failed exchange of hearts ;

You see,
I gave him colours
but with that he painted another visage from his past,
Love rekindled in his heart and it was me left with burns and scars;

But instead of blood there were sparkles
that kept my vision lighted and filled my imaginary with scenes from dreamy novels;
And I got addicted these mocking hopes again;

So, my dear rose in bell jar!
Tell me are these imaginations bewitching you too?
Are you blushing or are you angry? You're being too red to give me a  clue;

I'm frozen,
And I can see your spirit fade away
The liveliest shimmers of all I've seen,
And I can't do anything;

My heart burning,
Trying to melt my surrounding ice
giving a last try
to catch your glimmers,

Then it gave up
Because it apprehended to be late,
So struggle breathed out;

Then I don't know how long I slept
Maybe hoping to see you in my dreams,

Where we'll go to that street
where we always wanted to be
My rosy flush and your musing gaze
As the wind swept past the starry horizon
with the sparks of pure amaze;

The sweet scent of that blossoming love
I still remember
I watched it go away with my heart surrendered;

Now,
I'm an icy embody;

Witnessing only the passing times,
without hope;

Who could've thought that not getting over means
there's no hope?

Not that I see miles away;
Even if I try to
These icy flakes blocking my way,
I'm too cold to be resurrected now;

I never write love poems.
I think it's because I'm afraid to

open up & feel so vulnerable.
I'd have to look inside my heart,
to write something beautiful,
intimate,
and heartfelt.
I'd have to embrace the warmth,
and reflect on the lingering traces,
of the hand once in mine.
The love that once had it's time.

I'm afraid to confront those feelings.
I'm afraid to commit to love,
even if it's the everlasting type,
where two stars collide,
in the afterlife,
like they did milleniums before.

I've been hurt so deeply.
In ways I haven't felt before.
I'm not sure I can take it anymore.

But I dream of not being afraid of love.
One day,
I'll write love poems.
I'll find the person worth writing lines,
and stanzas about.
One that makes me forget we're in a drought.

You make me so happy with
mere the knowledge of your existence,
Yet it turns back to utter despair,
Cause I despise the fact

That you are there
Like an art, so charismatically abstract,
but not mine yet;

Our eyes smiling at each other
As we hold eachother
We smile at each
Holding hands
I rub my hand on your Buddha belly
As if it were a magic lamp
We finally kiss
Not just dominate and submissive
But as also
Lovers
I can see the same pain in your eyes the
Pain I dealt with all my life
As we make love
Kiss me you say and we share a
Final kiss for the night
Tasting teachothers desire
In our breath
It’s sweet like
Cake
Show me how to love
In different ways
That I did not know