Every day I put little
stones in my blood
to slow myself down
to what people consider normal

but they have no idea
of the wings I had
the happiness and celebration
that life can be

There is so much to enjoy
when I am light with
open pores and a spacious
body, every cell vibrating

to caresses and music
the finest flavours and sunniest
colours, everything is a miracle
and I shine day and night

Mania dances around my head teasing me into thinking I’m happy , when mania is near your uncontrollable laughter consumes my sadness , your thoughts consume mine as we become one, you love attention and you do anything to get it, a soft whisper in my ear and a shove from behind forcing me to live out your life, my anxiety is racing with uncertainty from the uncomfortable situations you put me in , and as my mind races to figure out how to stop it , you slowly bring me back to earth again , reminding me that you are me and I am you, as you slowly fade away , waiting for another day, the sadness sinks back in, wishing I had your confidence and wishing I had your silly personality, my dark room calls me away from freedom of mania , reaching for the orange pill bottle ,lithium stares into my eyes with a glimmer telling me everything will be all right as I shut my eyes.

My thoughts
Paint brilliant colors,
But
Chemical venom
Swells my tongue
And silence
Fills my mouth.

How funny is it
A simple salt was
Forgotten by my brain

you didn’t think
the lesions of my
soul
were ****

you just had
to see me
as i am

harsh precision
my soul as a prism
for me alone

embarrassing to say
you were the first
not to get hard
when i took my lithium

the right thing
at wrong time
how cliché

lithium
keeping me from iridescent mania
cutting of the air to my lungs
strangling me with snaky grey
v
     i
n
     e
         s
oozing with itchy slime
that gets in every pore
depression and self loathing set in
why is this my prescription?