Forlorn,
I sit and mourn
What could have been,
From the boundary, trying not to be seen.

Misanthropic.
A tiny nick
Has snuffed out my life,
Success always resting on the edge of a knife.

Melancholy,
I sit here pondering, sorry.
Should be out there fighting.
Every strike sounding like lighting.

Company,
I rushed too hurriedly,
Spurned our honour
And became connon fodder,

Because I got the plan wrong,
Sung the wrong song,
Overstretched,
Regret etched

Across my face,
Death dressed in lace,
Struggling on a sticky wicket,
I guess that is just cricket.

you did nothing wrong
you are amazing
i just don’t want to be
in a relationship right now

i was the common denominator

fool me once - shame on you
fool me twice - shame on me
get broken up with for the same reason
four times - it’s a ******* pattern

how do I explain to someone new
that I am running out of pieces
of myself to give away

that i’ve stopped saving phone numbers in my phone until somebody proves
that they’re going to stay

that I don’t even know how to talk about myself
because the things that
make me - me
were the reasons
why everyone else left

that i haven’t figured out
what I’m doing wrong
and my track record
makes me not want to try

how do you tell someone new...
that you already know
they aren’t going to stay

I wait
like a sitting duck
to be struck again by
the blow of disappointment.

I don't know why I think
each time will be different
But I wait--
just in case

Just because one person messed up
     Doesn't mean everyone will
Just because one person let you down
     Doesn't mean I will too
I know you put all your trust in that one person
     I understand you believed
And it won't be easy to heal and forget
     But can you have hope in me
I will help you along the way
     My intentions are real
I'm not here to hurt you
     Can you please begin to trust me
I'll be patient, please take the time needed
     But please don't give up
It's not over just yet
     I promise I'll be different

May be I should have,
Never come to this town.
With all my accent and tradition,I made myself a clown.
When I first entered, I wish you would be around,
To teach,to preach, to save me, when I drown.
We are no match and I think I let you down.

i don't want to let you down
i think i try but it's in my head
you don't have to forgive me
but you do
i'm sorry i let you down
i want to help, really it's true
but don't cut me slack
because it's undeserved
and you shall want it back
when you see me

anxious heart made sick
anticipation postponed—
beware second wave


© 2020 Mark Toney.  All rights reserved.

When you let someone in, they can let you down.
And when you get let down, you fall.
You fall hard and it hurts.
It hurts to feel that you were betrayed.
It hurts to know that someone you had trusted only told you lies.
It hurts to realize that you were stupid.
You opened yourself up, took down your walls for someone.
Someone you thought would be there for you.
But it turns out that they weren't.
So you fell.
And it hurt.
And no one is there to help you get back up.
Except you.
Sometimes you is all you have.
And sometimes you have to be enough.