the moon bares its jagged mouthful of tombstone teeth
but its fearsome snarl is lost to my eyes
for its sacrilegious white light cannot penetrate through the
looming canopy of gnarled old trees

i raise my rusted lantern high
green glass panels protect the flickering flame

glowing yellow eyes glare out, reflected in the rays of my lantern's light, but i do not fear or flee
i know now that beasts are ahead, in my path
and now that i am aware of their presence
they cannot ambush me from back the way i came

the howls echo through the mountains before me
the wolves expect an easy feast
but i will not be dinner

i do not feel safe
on the fifth floor
with all the windows locked
and two turns of the deadbolt
don't forget the chair under the door

i do not feel safe
walking home from the grocery store
in this horribly gentrified neighborhood
at 4pm on a sunny
saturday afternoon

i do not feel safe
handing over my clothes to someone else
i know they have to be washed
i've gone too long already
but i bite my lip until my belongings are
back in my line of sight

i do not feel safe
alone in zoom office hours
with my camera off
how can i be hurt through a screen?
but it never reassures me

i do not feel safe
when the electrician comes to fix
the circuit
i called it an electric circle
he does not look at me that way
the way that makes me sit in the
backseat of my own mind
but i cringe when he looks at me
at all

they call it hypervigilance
vigilance
from latin vigilare
"be watchful"
i am watchful, watchful, watchful
maybe that's why i cant fall asleep.

Ah shiny approval,

Warm and soothing on the skin,

Absorbed like a lizard,

When one is hypervigilant.

felt you
ooze in
heard your soul
scratching and jangling
as it shuffled in
behind me
inserting yourself
into the nothing left between me and the door
and you just hover
a spectre
seen but unseen
felt your form
flick of hair
the false nails
and cigarettes barely disguised with gum
with bag stylishly slung
I don’t need to see you
to know you are there
inserting yourself
into the nothing left between me and the door
and you just hover

@journeyofdays

watching
from not quite the shadow
but the phase of light
just inside the rings
radiating out from the candle
here I can see the others
watching
if I time it perfectly
in that phase of light
just inside the rings
they
      cannot
                 see
                        me
                             watching

@journeyofdays

foolish men  

cannot outrun

evil

spawned of pride and arrogance

@journeyofdays

Daedalus review your plans

these walls crumble

no longer holding

@journeyofdays

on  the other side

of the wall

I hear him

@journeyofdays

explain how this continues

with all of the knowledge held

@journeyofdays

imprinted on knees and hands

story of this scarred struggle



@journeyofdays