I feel like I made a life altering mistake.
Normally I believe everything happens like it’s supposed to,
But this just feels wrong,
I’ve never not felt a pull between us,
Maybe somehow someday it will all be rectified,
But I just can’t get our story out of my head.
I’m scared of you, I’m scared of being near you but near you nonetheless is where I wanna be.
What did I do, what did I do, what did I do?
Did I not listen?
Did I not care?
Did I jump in too fast?
Where were you?
Where was I?
Did I say yes to her too fast?
I didn’t even look for her love but I had  always had my mind on yours.
This was the worst case of bad timing,
I’m afraid I ran away,
Even in college,
Maybe I was ashamed,
Maybe I was too immature,
Maybe this is all in my head,
All I know is I’ll know someday.
Even if I have ruined it all.

If everything will come to an end
My past self will come back
I dont want it to happen
But its happening
I dont want to be colder
I dont want to be a numb
Please help me. Save me
Make me stay

I am not beautiful
When I am sad
Because my depression
Is not the pretty
Made for tv kind

It’s the kind
That keeps me in bed
All day and night
Not able to get up
But also unable to sleep

The kind that means
I didn’t take a shower
Or bath all week
Because I couldn’t
Even put in that small amount of effort

It’s not the kind
That people want to see
To take artsy photos of
That could just be fixed
If only I could be happier

It’s the kind that means
I’ll be up all night again
And I’ll have bags under my eyes
And I won’t put on makeup
Because I just can’t do anything

And I can’t make myself study
Or do any work at all
Because my mind
Just can’t stop thinking
About everything and nothing

The kind that brings up
All of the memories
That I try to forget
And that try to **** me
Or maybe that’s just me

I want to improve
I wish I was better
please, someone, help me
understand my pain and suffering
please send a doctor
I am from perfectionists
but they haven't  fixed me
and I'm sad that I'm not ok
and it's not ok that I'm sad
I just want to feel something
when I can only feel nothing
why does Salem haunt me
why do witches follow me
and ghosts love me
I just want to feel safe
I just want to feel perfect

head fuzzy and wuzzy
fatigue of the sould
won't leave me alone.

eyes have mast
4 years have passed

my stomach erupts daily
i feel 100% full crazy

unable to cope
devoid of hope

where now to turn
what is there to learn

i feel so close to the end
can't reach out to family or friend

words keep coming via mouth and key
saying goodbye to life and this cycle of hell for me

"I love you"

We may say it
but do we mean it?

we search for it
but do we know how to handle it?

"I love you" is one of the most beautiful phrases to tell
a person, they're someone special in your life

but this phrase has been abused
this phrase as been misused

to describe a petty crush
or it has been confused with lust

"I love you" nowadays is said to anyone
when it's meant for your "the one"

the girl/boy you just met online,
"i love you"

the girl/boy you just had *** with,
"i love you"

the girl/boy you hate,
"i love you"

i love you is suppose to be something genuine
you tell and you want all your loved ones to say

but why do we treat it as an excuse or a reason
to force someone...to stay?