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Finn Dec 2021
When I'm left to myself
My wrists tingle
And I vividly see what it would like like
To scratch and scratch,
until blood flowed like a river
To pry my nails from my body,
with a squelching sound
To pull my teeth with pliers,
feeling the roots' empty place
To stab pencils into my thighs,
and leave them in the contracting muscles
To pour acid down my back,
and feel it burning and bubbling and the tissues peeling off
To scoop out my eyes,
and finally be blind to the world,
with crimson tears running down my face
Lisapotamus Jan 2021
Graphic*
The words you say slash down
To my bones
Knowing now that all of it was a lie.
I'll never leave
You'll never lose me
I can't lose you
Lies.
Each memory sharpens the knife edge before it comes down, tearing flesh from my body. Letting a ****** waterfall of memory cascade from my life.
Every moment.
Good or bad.
A new weapon for my own mind to use against my spirit, carving away all the joy that had rebuilt.
I wonder.
How are we to come back together from this?
After all the love, passion and meaning....
Lover to friends seems empty.
Flimsy.
Leaving my soul a hollow tree burned out in a fire that can't be banished but is somehow gone.
The questions in my heart beat through the day and night.
Rhythmically.
A constant reminder that this torment will never end.
cleo Dec 2020
i look at you and
my heart begins to flutter wildly
creating a certain heat inside of me, beneath my skin
my heart swells and swells
until it bursts, ripping my chest open and spraying my guts
against the surrounding walls in a thin layer of glittering entrails

a masterpiece of carnage and gore
practically glistening in the morning sunlight
so dazzling, i barely even notice the smell of my sizzling flesh
as the golden sun rays rain down on my ruptured organs,
transforming them into a puddle of bubbling crimson brew

my legs turn numb and i collapse to the floor
in a pile of bones and blood

oh how you make me MELT .
just for fun
Shley Sep 2020
Who knows why you finally did it?
The pain of living felt worse than death.
So decisive and certain you were.
A gun's swift act took your last breath.

I hope you have peace in the life beyond.
So young yet your pain had grown too great.
Did you not know there's still so much hope?
Could no one soothe the wounds in your heart?

Now I work to keep your body alive.
Your soul has long left its source of pain.
I watch your parents sit and weep,
Crying to have their child back again.

Would you have done it if you knew what came after?
For your family, the picture will always stay fresh.
Your face unrecognizable to those who knew you.
Your skull a mutilated mass of flesh.

Yet still there is hope at the end of this nightmare.
Others may find life through your demise.
Each ***** a lifeline for a soul in the balance.
But that does not comfort your parent's cries.

Do I sob in grief or rejoice in new life?
As I continue to keep a body working.
I feel the weight of the duty I carry.
The guardian of both the end and beginning.

I wish you and your family all comfort and peace.
I go home and leave the work behind.
But I could never forget what I saw in these days.
The sights and smells have their place in my mind.
Processing...A mix of heartbreak and hope.
Hello Daisies May 2020
If you've never been molested
If you think it's no big deal
If you think it's the victims fault
If you think we're just attention seekers

Just know this
I've been dead since I was a child
I can't recall who I was
Or who I ever will be
I can't feel anything
I'm completely empty

I see shadows
Of monsters and demons
I pray to a god I may not believe in
I can't trust anyone
Not even my own family

I block out my memories
Only to bleed through my dreams
I can't breathe if someone touches me
I'm shaking endlessly
I'm unable to love

I can't be loved
It was taken from me
When their hand went into me
I was broken
By a man who got sympathy

Where's my sympathy?
Where's my healing
Where's my it's not your fault
They gave it to him
Let him sin
With a grin
While I'm here
Sinking
Into darkness

I only let monsters hold me
I'm afraid of the light
I'm disgusting and it's always my fault
How everything went wrong

I'm so sorry
That you're disgusting disgrace
Touched my innocent face
Forced me into a shadow
Peeled my skin from me
Shed me into insanity
I looked so cute in my bathing suit huh

And noone ever came
They never stopped it
Always ignored
Always devoured
So please understand
I will never heal
I will never deal
And I will continue to peal
Until my body dies
Along with my soul
Quarentine has my trauma raised up and I have been denying it this entire time but I guess it's really hitting me tonight
JAM Mar 2020
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nC5TBv3sfU&list=PLbM5LMVZad0auV3U04qAPFrG5QBhwpW5O&index=1
Radhika Krishna Jan 2020
If I plunge a knife in my heart
And wake up again
Will I see a new life?
Will I see a new me?
Oh no, but I'm very empty inside
The knife would just
Find its way out free
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