the last two messages you sent
i never even read
i no longer check to see if you've messaged me
since i deleted that thread
i finally had to give up
and see that the relationshit was dead
you made up this false version of me
based off of resentment and thoughts you never said
just know that i'm sorry
i know all of this is still ******* with your head
i feel i did the right thing
i learn to go with my gut now and i've yet to be misled
some days are so easy
while others hurt deeply and i can't shake the dread
a couple times you roped me in
i guess your intentions involved the ego needing to be fed
you're the one who pays in the end
cause i can live with myself and an empty bed

I watched you sail away with her
to places so divine;
to paradises I could not reach,
phantoms of fantasies
I could not meet.
I felt a slow,
bitter
current
kick up in your wake,
awakening nightmarish
symphones
of debts
long-since paid.
There,
on sapphire tides,
I watched your ship leave the port.
Breathed in
simmering flames of Hell.
I might've bid you farewell,
if I could just see
above
the encroaching walls
that shake
and shriek
with the corpses
we called:
"You and I."

I still lay with my back pressed against the wall
A habit I learned from the two times you slept in my bed
And a habit I need to unlearn

My biggest fear
is that he marries her
After having spent an entire lifetime
detesting the very idea of it.