If only our brains were lobotomized,
So we could spend our lives
cuddling all night,
without the weight of worry.
No more missed calls from mom,
just sleep and your arms
kissing you,
laying down into an eternal calm.

I remember the panic in our eyes,
How we looked to the window
When the police lights
danced furiously on the walls
A car’s reflection pulling us
to the great fear of getting caught.
The shade bled red,
and the misery wore blue.

You said,
"I just gotta be sure."
Well, I do too.
But who doesn’t want to know for certain
before they think they found the one?
Are we still meant to be
if we don’t feel that certainty
deep down?

I guess it was confusion
that made me cry.
The echo after our last kiss—
a quiet ache,
like knowing
it may never happen again.
The way your warmth
became a memory
before it even left the room.

You said,
"I just gotta be sure."
Well, I do too.
But maybe it was already fading
in the silence that grew.
Maybe love was the question
neither of us ever knew.

If only you loved me as deeply as i did
so we could sleep through the night again,
Before i saw your greed
without ever worrying.
But it was your heart
That started to lobotimize
That wanted just to be loved, not love
I could sense all of it
Deep and well in your absence
Who have you been touching in your silence?

That time you started to reply late.
That time I gave up sending the first message.
That time you never reached out.
That time I realized how many lies you'd been telling.
That time I blocked you from everywhere back to back
That time I wondered if you tried to text back.
That time I went on a new date.
That time I dumped our pictures and your gifts with a chest wrenching ache.
That time i saw under your mask, your real face.
That time our memories started to fade.
That time I started to forget your face...

She spent her life
attached to a man
who could not love or be loved.
Her nuptials became her prison with a life sentence.
She could hear ghosts of unrequited love in her arteries.
She shivered from the hollowness of life in her veins.
She applied a tourniquet to her aorta
to stop the pulsing
the beating
the mainlining of a nonexistent love and dreams relinquished.
Her heart once bold, open and tender
became petrified Rose Quartz
holding space in the cavity of her chest.
Time stood still for decades.
Her sentence was finally served.
Release date approved.
Off comes the tourniquet
allowing new love to flow through her!
It comes rushing in deep red, rich with iron and oxygen!
Makes her cheeks blush and her breath gets shallow.
For now, it feels good to have life in her capillaries
And a heart beating with force.
She'll keep that tourniquet stuffed in her back pocket
Prepared for the next time her heart
is too much for someone.
For her spine is Lumerian Quartz
with barcodes of ancient wisdom.
It's taken thousands of lifetimes for a heart like this to evolve.
She was built for this.

Her freedom smells like sweet Jasmine
on a warm summer evening.
It sounds like the song of a Mockingbird
bringing in a new day with no responsibilities.
It dangles images of passionate love
filled with adventure;
fulfilling a soul mate's journey.
It promises her nothing.
For freedom is not freedom when entangled with another.
It's a simple choice.
Love or Freedom?
Is it possible to have both?
She's never had either.
She grabs ahold of the wings of a bald eagle
and soars until she finds a love
who allows her to feel free.
It's possible she will soar for eternity
longing for such a love.
Meantime she'll breathe in deeply
As Father Sun kisses her nose
within his safe embrace
Knowing Mother Moon
will keep her heart encased.