I was told from a young age that I wasn't good enough. More so implied, but regardless, that thought had been permanently etched in every section of my brain, so that I'd never forget it. I never did. I was manipulated, stepped on, and discarded to the point where even if i tried to, I couldn't forget it. Their words made me feel like an outsider in my own body. I wanted so badly to dig my nails do deeply into my skin that I would be able to rip my skin off and become a new person. I wanted to find the last fragments of myself that hadn't been destroyed but truth is, there wasn't any. I had been corrupted head to toe. Most people think words are harmless and just ricochet off the surface of their skin, and have no effect on them whatsoever. For me, their words went in every cell in me, stuck in every artery, and every single piece of tissue, and radiated through my bones and ruined me. They ruined me. I was ruined. They had stole this innocence I was had in me, and threw me in this endless abyss of self loathe and insecurity. I was once snow, still am, but before I was white snow. I was white snow in a sense that I was once pure and innocent as I fell from the sky. Once I touched the ground, my purity vanished, and I became my current state of gray snow. Gray snow is ruined my people, by society, it is stepped all over and overall corrupted to the point where nobody acknowledges it anymore. It isn't as interesting and beautiful as white snow, it's dull and useless. Nobody likes the dull gray snow, not even the gray snow itself.
