In the eyes of another man,
Cascading on the hearts quaking,
A tragedy that was to never be named,
The judgement of fate is his for the taking.

My misconceptions environ me, no longer a soporose dream,
These are the threads of my sanity,
It's a fetch of my hollowness, benumbed thoughts so grim,
Reprieve me, for I am the only kin.

Life revised to the memories inscribed,
Confined within the ageing strands of mind,
Seeking those left undefined,
To deconstruct the crux of life.

A new mould ignites, contrived from past morbidity,
Ever frozen in time,
The voidness of this excited debility,
Flares forever inside.

The chasm within, a shadow well-withheld,
It knows when something's amiss.
When all is lost, a lesion turning gold,
Retorting back the abyss.

My heart was dance joyfully,
Without fear of breaking.
Like a little boy jumping
On a soft tender mattress
In grandma's room.

But you deceived me.
Turning out to be a ruthless killer.
The body screams in agony,
Calling for help from the Heavens.

I want to say "Morning" to you every day,
When I wake up sweatly at first light,
To drink coffee with you under lilac
On the open terrace, laughing on sight.

I want to plunge into my thought darkness
And get only major of them therefrom.
They mantle my day, and it'll be cleaner.
And happiness will be my master for all.

I want to throw out all foul thoughts
About my fierce fortune in whole.
I want to revive, to cheer up, to uncover
And get off meek beggings forever at all.

I want to stop making the Deity from pain.
But I've got nothing work out at full.
And I continue to kowtow to my pain,
Begging for save as the latest fool.

We eat, we sleep, and we pray.
But who do we pray to?
Is it the ones who promise us salvation
but only give us disease, darkness, and blood?
Or promises of hope, love, and flair?

We starve, we wake, and we sacrifice.
But who do we sacrifice for?
For the ones who only take, take, and take,
and give not even a dime in return?
But only death, darkness, and blood.

I look at the heavens and see light,
but not lights of hope or redemption,
only lights made to blind us and bind us—
to show us we are unworthy of them, of the divine,
to make us feel like envying them is a crime.

I search wide and far for a story without any bar,
a story where they were selfless and not so afar,
a story to help us dream and reach the sky—
not act as silent observers of the moonless sky.
But all I hear are hopeless cries of mine.

Who are they to decide what we are, what I am?
Who are they to decide my fate and worth?
Who even are they, when they haven't felt the pain of existence?
only seen the suffering from their lofty thrones afar?
All I see is cruelty and worthless promises, hearts as black as tar.

Darkness, darkness, lonely as the grave
Darkness, darkness, teach me to be brave
As shadows fall across the trees
and inky shade stills stormy seas
Darkness, darkness, teach me to be brave.

Darkness, darkness, lonely as the night
Darkness, darkness, take me from the light
Clothe me in the velvet soft black
and weave me a cloak to take me back
Darkness, darkness take me from the light.

Darkness, darkness, lonely as the moon
Darkness, darkness, sing me a soft tune
Hold my hand and lead me away
hide me from the sun of the day
Darkness, darkness, sing me a soft tune.

I am a Nyctophile.
I love the night, the darkness:
it gives me pleasure,
it gives me comfort,
it gives me peace.

In the night hours
I can hear the soft rustling of the trees,
the trilling of insects,
the gentle pad of the cat,
the bark of the fox,
the scurrying of the hedgehog
as they go about their night-time adventures.

In the night hours
I can see the the stars
glimmering above
and when the moon is risen,
I can bask in her soft, silver glow.

In the night hours
I can smell the cool air
and taste the new-formed dew.

In the night hours
all that is familiar
takes on a new persona
in the shadows.

And what secrets
hide in those shadows?

They do not bring me fear
but curiosity …

In the quiet of the night,
my thoughts are mine,
uninterrupted and unencumbered
by the noises of the day;
the clamour of voices,
the roar of the traffic,
the cacophony of daily life.

I love the night, the darkness,
it gives me pleasure,
it gives me comfort,
it gives me peace.

© 2025

I feel like I’ve taken drugs. I feel brand new. Everything is beautiful. I’m beautiful. Everything is connecting. I feel full of life. Words are overflowing. Thoughts are bright. I can see a future with purpose and passion. I know what I’m supposed to do! Is this what happiness feels like? A light on my face, a flame in my heart. I am ready to conquer the world. Yet something doesn’t feel right. I just can’t put my finger on it. I spin and spin and spin. Ignoring that feeling. Head up, staring at the clouds, soaking in the sunshine. I look over and see my love. He’s standing there, taking it all in, taking me in. I smile at him. He smiles back at me. A single tear rolls down my face. There’s that feeling again. This time a little stronger. “NO,” I shout, “this Will not be taken from me! I begin to dance, pirouettes, beautiful leaps, I am on fire. Nothing can take this from me! A sharp wind slices past me as I’m swirling, I stumble and fall. I look up and see that it wasn’t wind, it’s darkness cutting it’s way in. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I try to run. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I sit. Staring at the clouds again, soaking in the last bit of warmth I can. It’s inevitable. Darkness always wins. I just seem to forget it when I can see only light. I look around for my love. He’s nowhere to be found. I am alone. The darkness is moving in faster now. There’s only a sliver of light on my face. I open my mouth and swallow it. It is gone. Darkness now fully envelopes me. I curl into a ball and scream. Echoes. Silence. I close my eyes. Longing to find that light I had swallowed. Demons dance around me, shouting obscenities, telling me to **** myself….or is that my voice? I don’t know the difference anymore. Have I ever known the difference? I don’t know how long it’s been. I’m still here, lying on the floor. There’s something hitting me. I reach to hit it away. It’s a hand. I draw back and scream “LEAVE ME ALONE!”. The hand grabs mine. It pulls me up, wrapping arms around me. Someone whispers in my ear, “You’ll get through this. You always do. You are strong. I’m right here, always.” It’s my love! He found me! There we stand in the darkness and I am not alone. I was never alone.