Have so many days passed
since those shining lights were to
iris pressed, or have I just
covered my eyes?

Every man speaks of time
and how fast it flies
but I believe that it
gets off a hard day of work,
barges in the door,
founds its spot on the couch
and then collapses
with a gentle sigh.

The setting was beautiful..
Some forest somewhere as green as envy itself..
There was a very calm river with a covered bridge that ran over it..
The bridge was all white and looked like a house..
I went inside and found that the ground was made of glowing green grass..
The walls were made of dirt with flowers growing out of them..
The smell was so nice..
It seem cooler inside the bridge..
I walked on through bare foot..
The flowers were now an aura of colors..
Endless colors..
I awoke from this dream..
And I can't stop thinking about it..

I shouldn't have bothered.
I thought this was a posh area.
Now I see it's not.
'Tommy Rot!'

Look at the gardens.
The lawns are covered in weeds.
'*******! We grow herbs a lot.'

Even you're car's a mess.
Not been cleaned in ages.
'I wash it often,
every guilt trip day.'

And those dogs, do they howl all night?
'Oh no. Nothing like that.
It's just the neighbours in a fight.'

echoed steps faster pace
shadows on every corner
running with no destination
tripping over her confusion
she's now on the ground
eyes covered with fright

I remember getting THAT call... every second.
I remember the STING of the cold air, against my skin.
The JAGGED stains of dirt on my jeans
When I FELL to the solid ground.
...Like I was just STABBED.
Dirt COVERED my hands, that could be mistaken for blood.

I could HEAR the sound... of my heart shattering.
An EXCRUCIATING wave of pain.
I couldn't BREATH.
Choking out tears & Stifled SOBS, until I was nothing.
But, a SMALL mess on the cold ground.

My eyes flicker OPEN,
"Did I JUST die? Am I dead?"
I FELT dead, and empty.
I feel an AWFUL numbness, take over MY body.
I look AT the sky, through scattered tree limbs.
Specks of WHITE fall on me.
My hot face stings WITH every speck.
...with EVERY newly made snowflake
I now see MY breath in front of me.
Staring at the SNOW as it falls.

I am nothing but a SHELL,
I am NOTHING without her.
I live FOR her.
So... HOW do I learn to, live without.
I wish for DEATH.
But, I get CONSTANT waves of numb and empty pain instead.

I hate HER and I can't stand her.
...But I NEED her.
So, NO matter how much she hurts me.
I'd APOLOGIZE for it, and she's killed me so many times.
That if she got MY blood on HER hands, I'd clean them.

I just CAN'T un-love her.

Oh how I wish to grow up to be tall,
Almost touching the skies,
And hugged by the sunlight.
How I wish I can see above all,
All above everyone else.
Being the tallest tree of all.
But oh I can't see the sun,
I know it's there.
Hey, where's the rain?
I know its falling,
I can hear the rain drops.
Oh the others are so tall,
They cover my light.
No I won't give up,
They must move out of my way.
Softly I cried,
Shriveling away day by day.
I can see no sky,
I can see no freedom.
I'll never be the tallest tree,
Like my dream will always be.

Surrounded
All of me contained
Attire but another layer, another mask

Wounds heal and bleed,
heal and bleed, heal and bleed,
Pain never yielding

I observe, I witness
only shadows
and not the glistening
which bore them.

Except for one
at a time.

Time between each flash
inconsistently lapses.

I feel the fear
overtaking
this prolonged era.

Fear unto darkness
What remains
of my own luminescence remains
contained within.

I will bare only when a
Light pierces, blinding
all I know
when I finally open
my eyes.