after a breakup
people said move on
that i'd find someone better
they told me to take it as a lesson
something for the future

they said
i didn’t matter to him
as much as he mattered to me
and somewhere, deep down
in the bottom of my shattered heart
he once swore he wouldn’t break
i knew they were right

but how do i tell them
i fell for a sweet, funny boy
who once swore he’d marry me someday?
how do i explain
that no matter how hard i try
i can’t bring myself to hate him?

not a single piece
of my broken heart he left
has been able to forget him

how do i tell them
moving on
feels like betraying him

how do i tell them
i never wanted the lesson?
i just wanted to be
loved by him

How to Get Over Someone You Love

you don’t
not really

you just never get over someone you love
not till you gave all the love you had to give
maybe more than you ever could
till your heart wasn't yours anymore
just a vessel they once called home

till all the love you had got drained
drop by drop
in texts they never answered
in dreams you didn’t ask for
in silences louder than any goodbye

till living felt heavier than it ever could
till breathing became a task to do every day
like something you had to remind your body to do
like staying alive was a promise you never meant to make

till their name felt like a wound, not a word
till every call ended in silence that stayed
till their voice lived in your headphones
but never in the space beside you

till sleep became the only peace
and even that lied
offering dreams that left you emptier
than waking ever could

till songs you once loved
became unbearable noise
till you couldn’t tell where they ended and you began
till your reflection looked like a stranger grieving someone
no one else could see

till time moved on
but you stayed behind
a version of yourself
still waiting for a door to open
one that already closed

till letting go felt like betrayal
till forgetting felt like a crime
till you forgot who you were before them
and the person you are now doesn’t recognize the light

till you realize
love isn't always enough
and sometimes
not even yours to keep

She wept at Disney
Her feet ran into the night
Never more my moon

Tu m’as montrée qui tu es
La chose la plus généreuse que tu n’as jamais pu me donner
Comme ça
J’ai su que je n’avais aucun autre choix
Autre que partir.

i hate being the one
you can no longer run to
hold me tight and grasp me firmly
such warmth felt so exciting

i hate being the one
you can no longer talk to
your jaw aching and tongue going numb
your voice was so surreal

i hate being the one
you can no longer cry to
pour your feelings out to me with deep trust
i miss being your aid for anything and everything

i hate being the one
you can no longer have hope in
every obstacle was just a piece of cake
i guess you didn't need me after all

i hate being the one
you no longer wish to love
every since that fateful, haunting sunday afternoon
the everything in me expired.

The Other Saw It Bare

“I’m repulsed by you,”
I say.
Maybe that will make me feel better.

Frozen, trying to remember memories
because you made me hate them.
Two sinners bonded,
creating a friendship
against everything in the commandment.

Oh, look what we became
One sinner gave it all.
The other… saw it bare.
The sinners?
Both right.
No wrong.

The sinners are separated.
One saw it as a joke.
One swore it all.
One never forgave.
Both fell.

The Devil laughed.

I saw.

I'll stay on one side
you stay on another
and I'll think about why,
We aren't made for each other
In darkness I'll cry,
while you've found another
our love was meant to die
you threw me in the gutter
I ask myself why
we were drifting further
we were close at night
though you called me your brother
by day, as i walked by,
you held another
guess they needed one fine
and one ugly to befriend each other
So I'll just stay on my side
and you should find another

the night seems quieter
now without you here
after we bid our goodbyes
now without you here
the night seems quieter

Do you remember our garden?
The one we used to dream about?

We planted seeds and flowers rose from the earth.
Do you remember our garden,
where the birds once sang
and sunlight painted everything gold?
Do you remember what happened to our garden?

What became of our flowers,
our seeds, the birds, the sun?

Perhaps they began to rot after you colored the soil red.  
When you stepped over our flowers
and broke the wings of the birds.

I want you to weep for the blood you spilled.
I want you to mourn our garden
and the roots you burned.
I want you to look at the ashes
and let them remind you of the life
you chose to bury.

Do you remember our garden?
The one we used to dream about?
-  I still do.