You run your fingers
down the sulci of my brain
and read my all
like I'm written in braille

The poison is in all of us:
Half-smoked cigarettes lay on the side of grainy gravel paths,
crinkly Dollarama bags and glass beer bottles.
We relax on trees
leaning
backs against the braille texture of bark
that tries to speak to us in a language we don’t understand.
We lean back and raise our faces
towards the sunlight dancing between
the leaves of the canopy,
listening to the tires
whizzing against concrete,
but think it similar to the smacking of waves against stones;
lean back and savour the syrupy smell of maple trees
against our tongues,
thinking to ourselves
how grateful we are for nature
as we sit in a paradise of tall trees
their branches intertwined in a space
smaller than bathroom stalls;
lean back and breathe in exhaust
and cigarette smoke masked
behind a layer of sweet antiperspirants
and coconut-scented shampoos
as the wind whips hair against your face.
We take peaceful naps against the undeciphered braille,
but the poison is in all of us
and one day this paradise will become
nothing.
A bed of dirt
blanketed by prickly store-bought
strips of grass.

Braille understood
The power of words -
The duality,
The irony
That all can feel
When words are raised,
To we, the blind,
Through poetry.

Blood washed away
Skin all healed
My puckered flesh
Like twisted kisses

These scars
Across my body
Like braille
For the broken hearted

Fingertips
Grazing my legs
As if reading the cause
For my pain

There's no need to speak
For words
Are not needed
To tell my story

-ARI

A bump like braille
forming on i
slip your finger
along my thigh
to feel the words
to read my mind
calculate me
i wish you knew
all of my thoughts
consist of you

You say Hey
to see if I’ll say Hey back.
You take great meaning
out of it, I do it out of
common courtesy.

You ask me how I am,
not because you care,
because you want me
to care about you.

Laying your burdens
on me, because I clearly
look strong enough
to hold them.

You’ve filled every
line on my hand, and
now I really wouldn’t
have room to hold
anything because your
hand is always there.

You kiss me
just to see if I’ll
kiss you back.

You test boundaries,
you lay more than just
your words onto me,
that I try to make
into a crossword puzzle.

You plant your hand
on my thigh, my stomach,
trying to link the
the points of my body.
But I’m not made out of paper.
I am not written in Braille,
you don’t have to touch me
to know my story.



You were trying to
cover my skin with
memories of you,
and that’s why
I cover them up.

When will you learn
the point of loving
isn’t to be loved back?

I’m done trying to teach you,
you’re not my problem
to solve anymore.

And who am I to think I should be loved
[When I’m not even sure what it means
Being me
Anymore]
So I’m tucking away the parts of me
[The Kate Lyn you know and love]
That shouldn't exist That love you
[You won’t have that frustrating child at your feet
Tugging on your shirt for reassurance
Anymore]

I’m closing off the eyes I only had for you
[Forever]
And
[In the meantime]
I’ll learn Braille
[So when you’re ready]
I will trace your spine with my fingertips
To see the name you’ve made for yourself
[Maybe you’ll even let me read your lips
With my own

But I get too far ahead of myself
By wishing that
Don’t I, Love?]

And who am I to think I should be loved
[For all that I am]
When I don’t even know what makes up all that I am
[I have yet to discover my favorite flavor of ice cream
And every stable person ought to know something like that,
I think,
Just in case.]

Who am I to think that you would love me

[I suppose that you did press your lips to my pages
Leaving kisses in the footnotes of my story
Burning away the definition of ‘just friends’]
There are four holes in my story now
[I counted]
When I tell people what happened to us

But love is more than that

[I think
That’s what I would like to learn
At least
By tucking myself away into an envelope for a while
Or perhaps into a bottle
I'd look prettier then
Knees against my chest
Watching my breath fog the glass
Taking my finger to draw hearts in the condensation
Letting it dry
Just to trace it again
Until you choose to see it
Getting drunk off my own message]

There’s more to me than the parts that love you
[I hope]

So I’m tucking myself away
Like I’ve said
[But hopefully not all of me
Because that would mean I can’t find any part of me
That cannot live without you]

Until I know the meaning of me
Until I can say I’ve left my hand on a stove for too long
[Experimenting with other love
Getting truly burned by a person that isn’t you]

I will not let my pencil be my driftwood anymore
[In this tempest we ignore]
I will wash myself up onto white beaches
Exploring the farthest reaches of my mind
[To fill those empty places I never take time to think about
With useful things
Like white roses and garden gnomes
Every yard ought to have those,
I think,
Just in case]

I’m going to stretch myself
[Until I’m thin enough to spread across a page
To be read like a book
Full of poetry that isn’t about you]
I hope you know how much it will hurt to do something like that
To let myself be put on display
[In some foreign library in a distant country]
To be looked through and seen
By eyes that aren’t yours
Because you’ll be somewhere else
[Doing useful things
Like matching socks
Or playing cards
Something like that]

I’m going to live without you
[For a while,
My love]
All those places that I’ve been wanting to see

I’ll see alone
First



[I feel that every person ought to be alone
At least for a little while
At some point
Before they can truly be happy with another]

And if you ever care to find me
[You know where]
Open me up on your card-playing table
[And if I've got white roses resting in my hair
And burns on the palms of my hands]
It will mean
[That I’ve seen all I need
And learned Braille enough]
It will mean
That I have learned what it
[Truly]
Means
To live
[Without you]

I want to read you

Like the fine print

In the Terms and Conditions

Written in Braille

So I can feel

Every word written

On your heart

Its in your eyes,
Why so mercenary?

I see your mind,
And become the necessary,

Who am I?
What's my worth?

These questions I find
From birth I've been walking blind

Who were you?
When I fell behind

I keep moving forward
Try not to press rewind

One day in time,
I will find a light of mine

One night I promise,
You will see me shine.

But who am I?
And who are you?
Who are we?
Answers, I need a sign

Baby steps,
But don't get left behind
Take a right
Don't step on my porcupine

Am climbing up,
These steps so hollow,
Am climbing up,
But who's footprints do I follow?

Where does it start?
How does it end?

Tell me reverend
What happens when a demon becomes your friend?


Do you... Do you... Do you... Do you... See me? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????­?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????­??????????????


Am at a beach,
Tasting the salty breeze so sweet,

Am at a beach
Feeling the sand burn under my feet,

I hear her voice, something charming in her voice

I see her poise, something beautiful in her poise

So am following her like she is the pied piper and everything else is noise

Am swimming after her,
She seems so alluring,

Am swimming out to sea,
destiny must be calling,

My heart is pumping,
Am breathlessly hulling,

can't stop now,
My mystery prize is stalling.

Am sinking deep
Fading into the blue,

Am sinking deep,
And can't seem to find a clue,

My lungs are full,
And my mind is walling

I find myself wonder
Will I be saved?
Can my sins be waived?
can I cheat the book of life on the very last page
After all, I never had a chance from my conception stage.
Someone drop a key for me so I can get out of this cage.


Do you... Do you... Do you... Do you... See me? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????­?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????­??????????????


Who do I love?
Who can I trust?

Good Friends are loyal
But Family are blood,
But are family still blood?
if your DNA is mixed with hatred and unjustified love?

My love is selfish,
My love is grown,
Truthfully speaking,
Sometimes I just want to be alone,

this life of mine,
I walk on cold stones,
Just me, myself and I.
But you could be my co pilot
if you fit the role.

But I can't read you,
my vision is faded.

I can't feel you,
So I search for the dots on your pages,

Mirrors for the blind?
That won't help me deal with changes

Show me something deeper in your mind,
and I will free you from your chains and cages

Knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss
what a strange contradiction not to be missed

we only get one shot,
no second chances,

So am living it good,
like the blind man who finally understood.



Do you... Do you... Do you... Do you... See me? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????­?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????­??????????????