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jamiah Mar 2023
everyone is so afraid.
they are shakin gand trembli ngand un stable

everyone is so afraid that someone will say it.
they eat their food and kiss their wives
and dot their i's but they are TERRIFIED

everyone is so afraid that someone will point it out.
that there is something wrong with the dinnerware

it cuts at their fingers - white plates turned red
the teapot so far gone that the smell
of chamomile stains the tablecloth
they are stifled - watching in horror as their forks split porcelain to
pieces; and more; and more; and  more  . . .  splintering into obscurity

the china is Cracked. and everyone knows
I don't know how
To get her home,
Or if she has one...
Does 𝘴𝘩𝘦 even know?

If I reached out my hand,
Would she even pull?

She's been making herself larger.
I can feel her reappearance.
She gets brighter, I get darker.
Interfering with my impulse,
And it happened again...

I forgot how I got here,
Don't where I began.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎
nina Jan 2023
ill
black like licorice
& purple like poison
the cloud-like entity takes hold
seeps into the crevices of the mind
whispering to you to end it
it holds you in its pillowy arms
& sways you gently
like a mother holding their child
so comfortable in its cradle
you don't realize you're suffocating
until it's too late to breathe
get help
Darcy Lynn Jan 2023
There in the field she came to me,
The last of the silver honeybees.
I could see the years worn in her face,
Lost in the dark, one foot in the grave.

She held the ache behind her eyes,
So young to have her throat closed tight.
Poor girl, an orphan, with ribs of steel
Bone cage laced too tight to feel.

Then came the lonesome cosmonaut,
Betwixt the stars, those years he lost;
A nomad’s tale, nor here nor there
Too high up to come down for air.

Celestial darlings, they go round and round,
Dysphoric we hasten the final burnout:
From birth to evanesce, the hedons expire
Would love rot my teeth for afflictions less dire?

Last came the poet, out from the gloam
******* on pennies, and ink soaked through bones.
She gathered her strength and fell from the sky
While friends in high places twinkled goodbye.
It doesn't always Happen.
Even though it hardly stays still.

Some don't realize its presence


Some will never see that it's passed


Some seem to have no recollection


It's the unbecoming of a star
The deconstruction of a song.
Jae Elle Nov 2022
sorry

I'm

s
       p
             l
                    i
                         t
                  t  
           i    
      n          
  g                  

& I don't know
what that
means
An unconscious self sabotage
The reprimanding echo
A bed of invisible nails

Without the smallest clue
What was this discomfort of?

Exhaustion, a cage without doors.
Menial tasks turned impossible
Stumbling around all dazed

Dressed to the ninth in neglect
I keep forgetting to live.
CIN Oct 2022
It's hard not to long for it
When it makes me feel so warm
When I have been cold for so long
I fall so easily
I love so completely
If you would just stay
If only someone would just stay they’d see it
I am perpetually in the honeymoon phase
The affection gets me high
And I spend the rest of my days wanting hit after hit
I am full of passion, full of desire
All-or-nothing behavior
Maybe that's why everyone leaves
I'm too much, always have been
I have been love-sick for as long as I can remember
Truly I hate my hopeless romantic nature
Its nothing but a pit to fall into again and again
Still, I walk on
Continue to prevail despite it all
But I’ll tell you a secret
I do not want to win this battle
Not at all
I am too much, no one wants me for real. I'd like to burn. burn burn burn.
Advria Blk Sep 2022
You can’t gloss over it because the hurt spreads too deep. You try so hard to express your truth yet your cries for help are branded as ignorant, everything you say is rebuffed and rejected.

Your loneliness doesn’t meet the standard of everybody else, theirs can be expressed but yours is suppressed. Your sadness falls flat because it ain’t that serious for you to be stressing about or lingering over.

If your mind doesn’t **** you fast enough opening up will, you can’t look for help where your feelings don’t hold weight. Why seek comfort from people who’d rather watch you drown than dry your tears?  

How you cope may not be the solution, yet their passing judgement and distant attitude leaves you out in the cold so rather than smoothly detaching from the distress and seeking to heal the struggle of knowing your emotions are like waste irrelevant, invalidating and an inconvenience. 

Whether they meant the hurt or not we all know when you say what you say in anger or serenity it can’t be taken back, & just like that, a broken record is birthed and then constantly played. Coping is to keep pushing aside life’s woes until you break again, not having the strength to face it head on you just bury your head in the sand.
faust Jul 2022
i wonder if my suicide attempt did in fact **** me
and this is hell.
with each one, it seems to get worse.

time always moves backwards and then suddenly it’s forward.
i live in my memories. flashbacks. nightmares.
nightmares if i sleep at all.
and when i don’t, the friends behind my ear
keep me company.
the roommates in my head drown me
and blur my vision.
i feel red in my eyes when i get this way.
the stars fall like the burning fireballs they are
and the screams are unbearable
and the cries are aching
and my heart is being pulled out of my chest
like flowers off its root.
when i’m this way, i’d rather die.

parties isolate me.
loneliness swallows me in screaming and begging.
how did i get this way?
i don’t want it.
take it from me.
maybe then i’ll be able to live happy.
borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder tg ****
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