A cleaner slate than ever,
All traces scrubbed away,
And while I can admit I was cowardly,
That’s something you’d never say.

I no longer crave your closure,
The whole picture’s clear to see,
It was never about my well-being
You just found someone else to please.

Which makes it extra ******,
Reaching out just to gloat,
You couldn’t leave me be,
Had to shove it down my throat.

It’s changed my whole perception
Of the soul I thought you had,
I believed all that interlinked *******-
So that’s my ******* bad.

Now you open another playbook,
Most likely filled with the same plays,
And I just have to laugh at myself-
That’s just the way of the game.

For many years
I have felt broken
And empty inside
My depression grew
To the point where I
Felt nothing inside
My life change
When I met you
For the fist time
I am whole again
All because
You challenge me
To be a better person
Care for me
Even when I don’t think
I deserve it
You silence my fears
That has been
Building for years
I feel so close to you
Even from the distance
That we must endure
Every day that I am with you
You make my life better
Because I don’t have to
Wonder, Cry
Or have heartache
Over someone
That isn’t you

I used to grip your hair in my hands
you choked me sometimes
it wasn't all in lust
I scratched your back so hard
I left marks
and I'm sure there was dead skin underneath my finger nails
You didn't like to kiss when you expressed love physically
I didn't mind because kissing preoccupied me
We met on the same wave length of dysfunction
and our vibrations created a dimension in which we could disappear in
You would stare so deep into my eyes
that you would see past them
Sometimes we cried
but we never stopped
you were so gentle

But you hurt me and I don't mean when we did things sexually
I mean intellectually
out of all of our destruction in the act of reproduction
I only ever felt hurt through your words

What I would do to lose myself to you again