They:
Why do you fell for him

She:
The soul that spot my fake smiles,
And stared deep down my turmoiled heart asking,
"Whats that bleeding scar behind your silly play!"

~Varsha Srinivasan

Lights off, blankets tucked,
The last person goes under.
This old house stands still,
Holding its position
Against frozen wind,
While the blank sheet of snow
Mutes the sounds
Of a whole world on hiatus.

One last sip of water from the sink,
Letting the tap run
until it freezes your lips,
And you glide on the hardwood
Back to your space.

In your chair, the one place
You wanted to be.
But the only thing
That you can feel,
Is the pull of the abyss
And call of the unknown.

I am projecting
My self-rejecting
Onto other people

This harmless action
Destroys connection
All in my brain
A habit contained

Now realizing
Awareness sings
Let's liberate
Don't be afraid

Fears are surreal
Anxiety's real
People are mirrors
Of how I think and feel

Please forgive me
I don't know what's happening
It's too loud in my head,
I can't see beyond this feeling
Please forgive me,
I'm trying to find aid
Sometimes it works well,
It's worth what I've paid
But sometimes it just fails
Nothing I try works
I'm yelling like a monster
I've never felt this berserk
Please forgive me
I realize what I've done,
Only after the fog passes
After the fears have won.
Please forgive me,
I hope there is medication
Meditation's an option, I hear,
God, I need a vacation
From all of this noise,
My head feels so tight
I can't hear my voice,
Or my thoughts, or what feels right!
Please forgive me,
This is beyond my control
I didn't ask for any of this,
I just want to feel whole
Please forgive me
I wish you could relate
I wouldn't wish this upon you
I dare to wish for a better fate
Please forgive me,
This isn't an excuse
I will gladly run away,
I will gladly be a recluse.
Please forgive me,
I'd change my brain if I could
Why was I made this way?
Why can't I work like I should?

hand trembling inside the pocket;
knuckles scraping against the outseam;
fingertips crawling into the deepest corner;
nails clawing at a ball of thread -
too stubborn for its own good;
wrist hair tugging at a rough patch;
fist holding onto itself;  
palm lines lacking conviction;
fingerprints blaming each other;
nerves adjusting to the pressure:  
pulsations full of dread;  

the pocket stays empty.

I can shape my plans with clarity,
But fate’s still drawn in mystery -
What’s hidden lies beyond my sight,
And only God knows what’s truly right.

I seek to be the mirror that reflects minds, uncovering shadows and light within, or -
I could be the sun that lights their way,
Guiding seeds to bloom in the day -
Turning boys to men, girls to queens,
fulfilling their lofty dreams.

I am a wanderer in the ocean of thoughts,
I ponder deeply,
In the realms of reason, I tread,
Countless journeys of inquiry I embark,
For I am a wanderer in the ocean of thoughts.

prone to narcolepsy;
a second thought, like -
a can of pepsi.
sold my peace for
a moment’s notice;
for the panic that utters -
‘you better not blow this!’

i sulk, i cry, i moan… it rains -
the clouds pull closer to
the gravity of my pain;
the birds find shelter at
the neighbour’s windowpane -
they leave me to dry in a room -
terrified, and insane.

i can feel the bed
warming up to my shape;
there’s a stain on the pillow
that reeks of sour grapes -
i try to rub it off,
but give in to my human make:
i curse the neighbour’s birds -
through a ****
on the moss-green drapes.

i hope it’s worth it:
all the trials, and the errors.
i long for a night,
devoid of terror -
so i may sing for a while,
with nothing to lose;
‘to be, or not to be’ -
left to me - to choose.