Strings dig into my wrists,
Carving control into fragile flesh
Moving me to their will.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I despise it.

"Be this," she demands,
"Do that," he whispers,
Their voices tangle in the threads,
Pulling tighter, cutting deeper,
Moving me to their will.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I loathe it

Moving my lips
The sighs
The whispers
The mutters
It isn't me.

Tugging my wrists
The twist
The tether
The weight
It isn’t me.

Bending my knees
The creak
The lurch
The stumble
It isn’t me.

Turning my head
The tilt
The ****
The blank stare
It isn’t me.

Carving my chest
The hollow
The knots
The splinters
It isn’t me.

Tearing my legs
The sway
The drag
The fall
It isn’t me.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I hate it.

I'm just a hollow puppet.
Bound by twisted strings.

Nothing more
Nothing less.

The Liquitex that smudges my face
It draws new smiles,
It spills new tears,
Blurring the lines of who I was.

Each brushstroke rewrites my skin,
A hollowed mask of painted lies,
Cracks forming where the truth once lived.

It stains my cheeks in hues I don’t choose,
Bright reds that scream,
Deep blues that ache,
Colors bleeding into someone else’s story.

The varnish sets,
Am I trapped beneath it?
Just a mere doll of their design?

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I despise it.

And the fingers that type these words?
The letters
The sentences
The poem

It doesn't feel real.

A hollow shell of bone and sinew,
Moving without meaning,
Guided by unseen hands.

That's all I am.

I don't feel.
I don't love.
I don't dream.
I don't care.
I don't exist.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I loathe it.

In meinem Kopf, da haust ein Tier.
Ist schleimig und eklig, ist schrecklich und groß.
Fremde Augen tief in mir
Stelln mich vor mir selber bloß.

Will ich es lieben, hass ich es doch.
Bleibt es mir fern muss ich es suchen,
Und kommt es zu mir, dann lass ich es los,
Um es zärtlich zu verfluchen.

Ich will mich vor der Welt verstecken.
Will, dass niemand sieht und schaut,
Wie ich in meinen tiefsten Ecken
Mein Monster hab aus Angst gebaut.

Treten, schneiden, Ketten legen.
Hin und wieder brüllts in Wut.
Wills nicht lieben, wills nicht pflegen.
Geilt sich auf an meinem Blut.

Ich halt es fest und nochmal fester,
Dann stöhnt und schreits soviel es kann.
Mein einz´ger Freund, mein bester.
Es stöhnt und schreit in Stille dann.

The look in your eyes was tantalizing
Your lips were moist like morning dew
Your hands were trembling like thunder
Your hair were soft like strands of sand
And I was transfixed by your beauty.
I am so happy that I call you my lover
I could hold you in all our lifetimes.
I would wipe your tears as they fall like autumn leaves.
Truth be told, I find your touch so Catastrophic.
When you trace your fingers against my jaw,
my body melts into your touch.
Lovers in a dying flame,
I want to take you all before I perish.
Darling, the wounds you gave me are Catastrophic.

.

a fat grey day   welling with troubles                                    
                                     it's been taken over   by the news
the human world turns over another sorrow
lording over today                            
    and borrowing from tomorrow
   weathered are to be    the years to come
     not knowing what joke
        the world could
       end upon