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the space in my mind
is occupied by your entity,
merging with mine.
you pose as a false god,
painting me the enemy –
demanding a sacrifice
each time I resist
your quiet reign.

I enabled it.
let you have your fun.
called it inspiration,
called it love.
called it anything
but what it was.
of all my failures,
you were the most toxic one.

I gave you everything –
piece by piece.
you’d cover my mouth
to silence the plea
whenever I sought shelter,
with hands, trembling,
still tied to a bottle
you call the cure.

you smother what’s left of me –
dressed in ebriety,
hiding the abuse.

and I need to say goodbye.
not because I want to.
but because I’ve had enough.
of you hurting me,
of you driving me
to hurt myself.
you’re costing me everything,
and the loss is exorbitant.

I’m not just saying goodbye to you.
you’re exiled.
your velvet threats,
your sugar-coated grip –
banished.
it hurts me more
than you think.
but this time, it’s final.
because I’m not ready
to see the aftermath
if it isn’t.
this one is about the last fight.
july 7, 2025
Limes Carma Jul 6
First thing I did was run from the scene,
left the old streets and all they’d seen.
She said goodbye — I froze in place,
then turned before tears showed on my face.

Then came the nights I caved to the haze,
lines on the table, weeks in a daze.
Each hit a way to not recall —
but nothing numbed the fall at all.

I crossed state lines, left all I knew,
wore smiles I borrowed and played them through.
But even then, she stayed inside —
a quiet weight I couldn’t hide.

So I left it all, the past, the place,
the life I built around her trace.
Not to explore the world or start anew,
but to survive a life that ended with you.
© Copyright 2025 - Limes Carma
Traveler Jul 5
Voices in the closet
Where do they disappear
Eyes within the darkness
Creatures in the mirror

Shadow's of lost reason
Tossed and turning bed
Guess I got it coming
My heart keeps
Thumping dread

Long in to this living
Life becomes a maze
Soon the day shall follow
The night shall go it's way!
.....
Traveler Tim
I wrote this years ago when I was suffering a severe crack ******* addiction.
Tobi Jul 4
I told myself
I'll change for you
No more smoke,
No more honey

But I ask if you
In my folly
A Christ girl like you
Make me jolly

Come on baby,
Just one night
All I ask
Is that you lay on me

But I know that's foolish
You're too good for me
So I beg, beg I do
That you do this:

One finger on me
And you'll set me free
It'll be a new kind of high
Set my world on fire

I'll stop, I promise
I'll stop, I swear
That today
I'll stop

No more drinks
No more smoke
Is what you ask
That's not hard

Because it's you
Yes you, I'll hold on
And yeah, I did use yesterday
But it starts now

Because I'm trying,
I'm really trying
To change my ways
And set myself for you bae

Ok...maybe just one more
Please, baby let me have one more
All I ask is that I get
Is one more high

Besides, I pleaded
That you touch me
But no, you just want me
To have misery

So please, yes please
Let me set free
Because only my devices
Give me life

I said you're my wife
But you ran away
What a spite
You said, and I recall clearly

"Change your ways
Put it down
Stop punishing me
For your sins.

Because I grieve,
I grieve that you'll be him
The man God promised me
Because I don't recognize you."

Come on baby,
Just one finger
Is all I need
To be set free

Just give me, yes give me
What I need, because
I need you, and you only
To give me wings
Tobi Jul 4
God, I got nothing to do
But let me get one *****
Just one would do
Do do do do

Ohh, I'm nothing
But that's fine
Cause baby
I've got nothing to do

I'm just a loner
Playing videogames
Reading boring manga
All day and night

I got a big room
Just waiting for a crew
And maybe a babe
Yeah, I'm a fool

Ohh, I've got nothing
But really man
What can I
Really do?

I'm always in my room
Doing what healthy boys do
I use myself
Since I can't use you

It's honestly boring
It's really sad
That I got a lot
But no one cares

I can do a lot
Let me prove myself
But you won't care
That's only for you and yourself

Oh, I need nothing
Because, man
I used to having
A little or none

Da de da de da dum
La da da de da dum
La la da le da dum
Hum dum dum dum

Hum... I've got nothing
But my manga, my movies
Zines and games
(But maybe I need a babe)
CE Uptain Jul 3
There's a cross on the hill, by the old whiskey still
It marks the place where I found you
I was drowning in sorrow, no need for tomorrow
I was lost in that old mountain dew
I remember the night by the whiskey's firelight
I was sitting, while my head tried to swim
Suddenly I saw it through the light in your eyes
I found a way to forget all this sin

That old mountain dew runs deep in my veins
Now the Lord is my savior and in glory he reins
That old mountain dew is finally through
I've found my way unto you

The times have been hard, and the way has been rough
With you in my Heart I don't have to hide
Thank you, dear Lord, for the strength that you give
And for the courage you give me inside

That old mountain dew runs deep in my veins
Now the Lord is my savior and in glory he reins
That old mountain dew is finally through
I've found my way unto you
From my Inspirational volumes.
i say my name
out loud
to an unfamiliar room.

i can’t contain
my worn-out lies
burning through the truth.

they don’t flinch,
they’ve heard
this script before.

“the lower i sink,
the further i stray,
the harder i hit the floor.”

but they’re all ears,
offering silent company,
unravelling their past.

survivors of guilt,
hurt and poetry,
society’s outcasts.

our stories stay,
still shining bright
in sheltered wounds,

as i say my name
out loud
to a familiar room.
this one is about lying out loud — and realising they’d all done it too.
July 3, 2025
I said:
“I think I have ADHD.”
They answered:
“No, you’re just a ******. Get a job.”

So I ran.
In circles.
Around a reality
that never gave me room to breathe—
just fingers pointed and ******* advice.

They didn’t see the war in my head,
just the pupils.
They didn’t hear the silence in me,
just the noise I made.

I asked for help—
they handed me judgment.
I reached out—
they recoiled,
like I carried plague and guilt in my veins.

And then—
years later,
when everything’s burned,
when I wear my diagnosis like scars and proof,
they show up.

With a box.
“Here’s Ritalin. It’ll help.”

Ritalin.
Legal speed.
The same thing they hated me for chasing
now handed over
wrapped in plastic and prescription smiles.

What the **** happened?
Was it the label that made me worthy?
The paperwork that made my scream real?

I was never chasing a high.
I was chasing peace.
I was never after drugs.
I just wanted to understand
why my mind never shut up.

But there was no room for that.
Not then.
Not until now.
Now that the system sees
what I’ve been screaming
the whole
****
time.
Written from the frustration of being mislabeled for years. I wasn’t chasing a high — I was chasing silence in a storming mind. Misunderstood as an addict, dismissed by the system, denied peace. This is for everyone who had to scream just to be heard. For those with ADHD, for the fighters, for the forgotten.
I have nothing to express
But the pain that’s inside
But what the doctor prescribed
Doesn’t keep me alive
It’s funny how my health just leaves me
Like a broken heart
Torn apart
Burnt bridges in hell
I’m there, can’t you tell
But I’m wishing you well
Wishing well, how short fate fell
Not a story I tell
Just a pain you can sell
What peace exists at the bottom of an empty bottle?

The torment of the mind only silenced,

quietly growing,

pressing against the walls you built.

I'm still tracing the outline of what we were,

still searching for myself in the wreckage of us.

I once made a home in your sorrow,

and now, without it,

I don't know where I belong.

In dreams, I bear your sorrow, grasping for the

moments you escape your demons.

Release me from this endless ache—

find the strength to let go.

My soul will not rest

until you are at peace.

I wait for you still,

hoping you can heal enough

to set me free, and rise beyond the grip of this

endless night.


Time slipped away as I watched you spiral,

and I needed to reach you, to speak, to be heard

but you were only there in fragments—

the version of you clouded by liquor,

a hollowed shell, shrinking deeper into your

shame.

You pushed me away,

the distance growing,

until I became a stranger.

You left me no choice,

no escape but to walk away.

You gave me only one option:

leave, or be consumed

by the slow, painful erosion of you.
Loving an addict…
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