I am always asked
"Why have you changed yourself?",
To which my reply must always be
"Which part of myself do you mean?"

"Do you mean my appearance,
Which I have complemented with metal and ink?
I did that to feel whole again,
To make my body my own."

"Or do you mean my humour,
Once light and happy, turned dark and damaging?
I did that to protect myself. If I am dark
Then you shall never know how I truly feel."

"Or perhaps you mean my being, once loving and trusting,
Turned cold and evermore hostile.
Do you believe, after everything I have endured,
I would allow myself to trust another again?"

"I have changed myself to reflect the environment around me.
I have changed to survive in a world
Of traitors and abusers,
Much like those boys were for me."

So when you ask me
"Why have you changed?",
Do not be scared of the answers which you may receive.
They will now forever be me.

My mind is a Haunted House.
I live in it with
the abusers,
the non-believers,
the cowards
and the lairs.

I am haunted by
lovers who have come and gone;
traitors that took my skin and
made it a stranger to me;
and the ghosts that make my brain their home.

I am haunted
because I know that I was not brave enough.
I am haunted
by those who have come after me
because I was not loud enough.

I am Sorry, my loves.
I could not stop what happened to you.
But I will teach you how to cope
with your Haunted House.
I pray for you, my loves.

I call you mine even though you once made me cry so hard I felt like my head was becoming undone

I associate you with myself because you’re one of few who can grip my heart and render me useless all while not being within touching distance

You’ve never touched my neck and yet the prints there match the shape of your hands perfectly

The air between us is so cold that I can’t move and my entire body trembles, warning me to get away

I call you mine but in all honesty when you sank your teeth in you staked your claim

Sol o Sol!
Come be our guest,
Come & imagine a lunch with us.
Sky o Sky!
Most clement you are,
You are invited to lunch along us.

The stove is just so cold,
The stomach is hot as oven,
Warm bread is our daydream.

May some day come our way,
Our poor daydreams be realized,
Drinking the water in steel tumblers.

Delicious potato-tomato greens,
Sour tamarind sauce will be there,
Such a day has always been on the list.

We toast to our mini picnic,
Gulp chilled water brought along,
Yes so would be our hot celebration.

Let us sit under a tree's shade,
Enjoying our picnic time the best,
Melting some butter on warm bread.

Just for the sake of our joy,
May birds be our music system,
Today we shall feed them as well.

Sol o Sol!
Listen to our invitation,
Come & imagine a lunch with us.
Sky o Sky!
Accept all our offerings,
You are invited to lunch along us.