From these stressful nights,
Chest pains like stabbing knives,
Wishing to go on flights,
Wish I could feel more alive,
With my lover to grab a bite,
It doesn't feel right,
It's just quarter to five,
I want to be in his arms and feel so light,
Like a feather,
But I sit here and await,
Tick tick,
Until it's all over
But I still feel these growing chest pains

Why am I trapped on this never ending cycle,
A cycle full of routine,
Unhappy screams,

Why am I forced to continue this cycle?
A cycle that has no end,
Where I can't defend...myself

How can I get out?
Well, only if you knew the definition,

Cycle (n.,)
a series of events that are regularly repeated in the same order.

And there you have it,
This will be on repeat.... Regularly
Everyday.
This is a never ending cycle

An uneasy gut feeling,
My heart sinking down to my stomach,
Breaking slowly,

My head throbbing,
For what reason was I feeling guilt,
Feeling guilty for living how I wanted,
Making me feel guilty for experiencing happiness for once in my life,

An uneasy gut feeling,
One like never before,
One that I didn't dream of experiencing,

They tell you to take the path less travelled,
They tell you to make your own path,
See well I'm not on a trail,
I'm not near any path,
I'm on a sinking boat surrounded by the ocean,
I have no way out.
I'm stranded and forced to deal with situation I'm in.

And as I sit in this boat pondering about life,
I have this... Uneasy gut feeling

You see much more than a human,
You see their soul,
Your heart intertwined for them,

He protected me from the world,
Apart from it all,
I prayed for him,
I prayed for his success,
I prayed for his safety,
And above it all I prayed for his happiness even if he wasn't written for me,

Written for me? Yes written for me,
I mean the one we are destined to be with,
I mean the one who is my soul mate,
I mean the one that with be my forever and always,

But he,
Might not be my future,
He may not be the one for me,
He may not hold the key,

But if he is-
Protect him for me,
Because he is enchanted love,
He makes my heart sing,
The light he brings,
Into a room,
It's everlasting.... it's everlasting

They say it is religion,
They say it's history,
They say it's science,
For me it's a mystery,

They say it's honesty,
They say it's law,
They say it's witnessing,
I'm confused by it all,

The truth,
A universal yet complicated story,
The truth,
What we fight for each and every day,
The truth,
What is it...

The truth here is,
We all are in hopes of searching for that truth,
The truth of our exisistance,
The truth to our core purpose,
Our truth....
The truth.

They are the audience,
You are their puppet.

Attached by ropes hanging above where a stage is lit,
Lights bright, shining right at you,

...from the day you were born.

They were all directors,
-all of them? -yes all of them.
How could there be more than one you may ask?

I guess that's the mystery,
Can't seem to please them all,
But this stage showcases all,
the bad, the good, your actions,

Now you tell me,
where you have no place to hide,
How does a puppet escape a stage and auditorium full
of directors,

Why live in misery?

I come on here every few months to a year,
I only post to let my heart out,
when I need to process my own thoughts,

I would call this my online journal of chaotic memories,
Feelings I can't seem to control,
Feelings I try to explain,
Feelings that make me go insane.

Poetry's anger, I say.
They laugh and chuckle saying wait what ?

Poetry is anger.
Poetry ignites a fire,
It sends out a message loud and clear,
It is passionate, it is abrupt,
It is unfiltered, it is love.

but like most things,
Poetry is much like a wolf in sheep's clothing,
majestic and beautifully written but written with anger, and passion within.