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anika Nov 2016
I have to stop dating musicians.

They always
Break my heart
So they can write better songs.
They **** me without loving me
So they can create new sounds.

I have to stop dating musicians.

They always speak of their dreams
They speak of their future
And the things they will accomplish
But none of it
Ever includes me.

I have to stop dating musicians.

They are in love with their instruments
Married to their sounds
Fully committed to themselves
I'm nothing but a nightmare
Compared to their dreams.
  Nov 2016 anika
Aaron LaLux
Dear America,
what have you become,
so busy worried about where you’re going,
that you’ve forgotten where you’re from,

I am your begotten son,

and I love you,

I love you,
more than these wonderful words can say,
I love you but I don’t know what to do,
because I fear that you’ve gone astray,

like an abusive drunken Trump father,
or a used up distracted Hilary mother,

you seem so drunkenly enraged by greed,
engaged in a lustful want that you falsely believe is a need,

“Oh say can you see,
by the dawn’s early light”,
we bomb people we’ve never even seen before,
something must be wrong because nothing feels right,

why,
why am I scared of you,

maybe it’s your violent tendencies,
maybe it’s your egotistical ways,
maybe it’s how you’ve created all these enemies,
and now these enemies won’t just leave us alone and go away,

“Oh say,
can you see,
by the dawn’s early light”,
you are my parents and I look up to you,
I love to see the Statue of Liberty’s guiding light,

but honestly,
at this point I don’t know what to do,
I am your son,
and even after all you’ve put me through I still love you,

but I am absolutely terrified at what you’ve become,
what we’ve all become,
and even when I run far away to try and escape,
I realize we are family so no matter how far I run,

I am still an American,
because I am America’s Son,

come,
back home,
back to the times of apple pies peace and butterflies,
before,
the drones,
and satellites appeared ominously like shooting stars in the summer skies,

come,
inside,
let’s talk about life over home cooked pumpkin pie,

I’ve got some questions and I don’t mean to pry,

but why have we had to capitalize off destruction,
why do we still have war what is it’s real function,
why destroy when we can construct a constant connection,
a solid foundation with good intentions and clear instructions,

so we can finally heal and move forward as a family that properly functions!

Be a good husband,
be a good wife,
be a good person,
lead a good life,

look,
it’s not that complicated,
see all us children would forgive all your murderous mistakes,
if only you’d just take the first step and admit that you made them,

he served two tours in Iraq gave his all and lost his life for this country,
and all he got in return was that Arlington grave you gave him,

God please save him,

he was a good kid,
even though he killed,
he did it because his Uncle Sam told him to,
please don’t place him beneath us in Hell,

Uncle Sam didn’t know any better either,
and it seems his parents had raised him quite well,
but Uncle Sam’s not his brother’s keeper,
I am and I know my brothers well,
and when any of us lose any of our lives,
we only pray we leave with a story to tell,

because maybe we believe,
that when we leave this life we lead,
at least we leave the world a little bit better,
from sea to shining sea,

at least,
a little,
bit,
better.

Whatever,
what more do you want me to say,
I love you I am your son,
but I’m scared and that scared feeling won’t just go away,

“Oh say,
can you see,
by the dawn’s early light”,
I write by the light of the bright stars,
and through these words I’ve earned my stripes,

and since we’re on the subject when did the public,
go from stars and stripes to bars and fights?

Honestly America,

as much as I distrust and despise you I still put no one above you,
even though I’m ashamed of you for invading our privacy like an invasive enema,
I don’t even trust you anymore and the only One i used to trust was you,
you’re like a blemish on otherwise perfect skin like irritating eczema,

I am embarrassed,
of the ways in which you’ve behaved and all you’ve put us through,
but I am still your begotten son,
and after all you’ve put me through I still love you…

“Oh say can you see,
by the dawn’s early light”…

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

Check out my new book now: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N3QR3E4
From Your Son..
anika Nov 2016
I haven't felt this alone in years
and it's not from the lack of people
Around me
It's from the lack of you

I disappeared with you
My soul left
When yours did
I am
Invisible without
I doubt I'll ever
be seen again

You are
What held me together
When I would
Cry on your lap
you would say things like
"as long as we are together
no one will shatter
your pretty little heart"

because I was your person
And you were mine
forgive me for not
Holding you that night
When your world
Was so shattered
I couldn't see through the glass

Forgive me for
not reminding you
I loved you
when we last talked
I just never knew darling
That to the light
You would walk .
my best friend killed herself. I don't know how to heal, or how to feel okay. or whole.
anika Nov 2016
it will take forever
for me to get better
to get my life
back together

But this fast life
and these long lines
white lines
shine bright in the dark nights

hollow friendships
only smiling
when the drugs hit the system
when they're gone
everyone gets distant

fake love and fake caring
real drugs that we love sharing
inhale fabricated happiness
exhale all the hurt of yesterday

what your heart can't take,
darling
Your liver will
wait for jack
wait for the snow in July.
anika Aug 2016
Stuck between
This is enough and
I need more from you

Put two free souls
In one room
And the sparks that fly
Will light up the room
In a fire they can't put out
Sparks will fly
A fire will burn
And to ashes they'll turn

Stuck between
There's too much of me
And not enough of you.
first poem I ever wrote for my poetry book.
anika Aug 2016
On the hottest day of the year
In my room all I had was rain
Because the sun was so bright
Not a soul cared to ask how I was

Because the smile on my face
Was painted so well
That even the ones who
Loved me the most
Looked at me with a smile
On their face and so sure
Of themselves said
“see, you’re okay.”

For once maybe once
Could someone ask
“are you sure?”
when I tell them I’m fine.
For once maybe once
Can you look me in the eyes
And see inside me
And not past?

Just because I smile today
Doesn’t mean tomorrow
I won’t want to die.
anika Jul 2016
Before you, I did not notice much. They say that when you fall in love, nothing and no one else matters. but that’s not true. When you fall in love, everything matters just a little more. Songs now make sense, all of the sudden you yearn for a dozen roses and another coat of mascara now makes a difference. When I fell in love with you, I realized that sidewalks are made for two, that two chair tables outside small coffee shops are meant for dates, and that ice cream tastes better when its shared. The sun, the stars, winter, trees, coffee, Chinese takeout, beer, long car rides, pools, walking, TV shows, funny movies, perfect fitting jeans, new makeup, curled hair, new outfits, and everything in-between, mattered so much more when I fell in love with you. Suddenly, home was no longer my mother’s house Sunday mornings with the smell of pancakes, home was anywhere and everywhere as long as I was with you. What I am trying to say here is that now you’re gone and I’m homesick and I don’t know where home is anymore.
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