I use to look up to lightning and ask it to give me a sign.

Every single time, the unpatterned electricity dazes the sky.

I love lighting.

It brings me peace.

I love lighting.

The natural off-pink it paints above

I could be killed.

and still smile as I sink into a dry sea of pavement.

Lightning gives me a sign to keep going.

Each mumble and crash it releases

Knowing that it will never touch me

Sadness and thunder are the like circles overlapping.

Both are shaking in grief.

As the world seem too much for them

The two circles seem to go round and round.

Dying down and exploding that appear to go on for hours

Some people put their knees to their chest.

As the circles whirl around each other

Shaking as they drain energy

Storms could never go on forever.

They may look like they will never end.

But they always do

I still look up to dry lightning and ask for a sign.

Mother Nature kindly responds.

You are loved.

-K.J.K.

I loved him.

And he loved me.

I feel like I lost myself.

And he found me.

I love the daytime.

Because I miss him at night.

Little did I know he

Was planting bombs

Disguised as flowers

I got addicted so quickly.

His absence created a

Growing desire in me

He had me wrapped.

Around his finger

And then he broke.

me into little pieces and

Scattered my remains at the

Corners of Earth

I am lost again.

With no one to find me

-Kat. J. K.

I loved you more.

Then I loved myself.

I sat there and forgave.

All your flaws

All your anger

All your secrets

But it seemed like you could never love me.

I tried and tried.

I huffed and I puffed.

But it was like a wall I couldn't entirely blow down.

It was like you went out of your way.

To try to get me out of your life.

I gave you more than you deserved.

I just wanted you to love me.

-Kat. J. K.

I fell in love.

But not with you.

I was in love with the way you made me feel.

It was like I could sprout wings.

From my back and fly away.

I loved you not.

But I could never get back.

The way you made me feel validated

You were ruthless, cruel, and abusive

But you were so patient.

I thought you loved me.

And I thought I loved you too.

I lost my mind.

And it felt like you were the only

One who could find it

That was the day I drowned.

-Kat. J. K.

scream at me
and I will hate myself
manipulate me
and I will do the same
beat me
and I will cause my own scars
just speak to me
and I will listen and learn
all this extra is unnecessary.

You were my own mother.

I stand there looking at my feet.

As you tell me, I don't deserve to cry.

You call me a monster.

Because what kind of daughter could be

Crazy enough to act this way

Certainly not mine.

Our relationship was toxic.

But you gave me life.

And a roof over my head

You called me a cruel daughter.

I can't stop myself from arguing every chance I get.

You call me manipulative when I say hurtful things when I get mad.

I am so used to apologizing to you.

You stopped believing me when I did.

When I was 12, you saw healed scars on my thighs.

You made me think that no one would ever love me.

Because what kind of man would love a girl with cuts on her body?

Nothing you said made sense.

I could never win when I talked to you.

Because you were my mother and were “always right.”

The worst part was I believed you.

-Kat. J. K.