As sunrise comes near
My orb spill a tear
Approaching me is fear
Sharp words you will hear

Witness this, water, shells and sand
This moment “traitor” becomes my brand
“We cannot leave hand in hand”
Pardon for not confessing beforehand

We are polar, my dear
You belong with the sea
I cannot be without the city
Your expression screams “happy”
But I dance with lonely
“Opposites attract,” they tell me
Yet with my intense negativity
I fear to shatter your positivity

Am aware, you might cry
Anguish whispers “DIE!”
While I bid you “Goodbye”  

As nonsense it may be
As stupid it may seem
Please grant me one plea:
Be happy without me

****
It's hitting me and it's hitting me hard as I unpack the shoes you'd always tell me to wear into this new and vacant room, no mattress no furniture as you sleep in the bed I slept in for over a year. And who knows who will sleep there from now on and **** they better appreciate how perfect your cats are or that you don't snore in your sleep like a lot of boys do.

But that's the thing, I fell in love with a silly stupid boy. Women do not date boys. I should not have dated a boy.

what about
me being bulmic?

screaming at you how my brother had caused it
i completely lost it
begging you to open
your ears for a moment
‘bulimics lose their teeth..’
ran up to my room
listening through the floor
hearing how ‘stupid, ’and ‘dumb’
you took me for

one year later
‘wow, its horrible
how skinny she’s gotten.
bulimia, its awful!
doesn’t happen too often
oh, do you know what that is?
its when girls puke themselves
the sickness overwhelms
quite awful, you can tell.
you would never do that,
right, my daughter?
you know better, you’re skinny'
(yeah, we’ve got her)

it’s funny, isn’t it?
what people forget
always the things
you would never expect

this isn't a poem*
I'm a ******* idiot
How could I be so stupid
How could I let this happen
I'm an idiot
That won't tell the truth
Because I don't want to hurt
Anyone anymore

Today I'm annoyed not because I'm perpetually unemployed or that I have all of the appeal of a penniless mayweather named Floyd. Anyway this sketch deals with the subject of skin debate, so if it's offense I create in your home please don't throw your phone

Lightskinned Vs. Darkskinned? What a ******* stupid debate
Seriously why debate about how much melatonin your skin creates? It's just pointless why Argue and divide a community that's already split up as it is...

but I'll finish here all of us follow different guidelines and were made differently designed so going for universal appeal is a pointless endeavor

I try to be happy
but you are nothing
I hate my brain
and everyone hates you
I just want it to shut up
you are stupid and worthless
I beg please stop
no I'm just telling you the truth
I just want to be okay
*no

You were right
I am and forever will be
*Stupid

You've decided to leave your friends for another group?
You hang out with some new friends to get over the pain that the old ones are accompanied by?
I thought you didn't feel pain, I thought you were above being hurt.
What happened, did you get reminded that you were not invincible?
Whatever happened, you fell too hard and broke your own heart.
You crushed your own world, and you had to make it someone close to your friends.
You deny yourself what you need, and it is stupid.
You hardly sleep in physical and mental pain.
What is wrong with you right now, I can't tell because me winning over your brain shut it down.
You are pathetic, but I can't help you other than by giving you feeling.
The fires of hell are in your future if they exist, and I thought you wanted the most out of life due to that.
You just can't win can you, dead-ends everywhere you look.
Every word even your own heart speaks is venom poisoning your mind.
Anger is so evident, but you haven't let yourself feel the pain in your rage.
You can't let it out, you want those sweet tears of salvation to pour, but they won't leave your eyes.
You think of the things that you like the most, and you cling to them.
You sing your madness away with every waking thought.
You avoid sleep because you will remember you broke your own heart.
You broke me into hundreds of little pieces despite the warnings.
You said you could take it, and you can, but what have you done to me?
I am shattered and torn up, and I just want to help you.
A heart can only have a voice in life when it is whole, and wholesome hearts are forged in love.
Yet you try and force things that won't fit with you.
You shove, claw, and tear the hearts so they may fit, but the blood always shows.
You can see it in your hands as the hearts fall apart, and yours shatters.
It breaks so violently because as you've aptly said before you turned it to stone.
Stone so cold the peaks of Everest shiver, and the tundra of the Arctic asks for a blanket.
Stone so hard Excalibur shatters at it's strike, and the king's arm breaks from the effort.
Stone so softened by affection that a flick makes it all fall apart.
So you broke me, she broke you, and tears still haven't fallen.
I am sorry I can't show you what life is.
I am sorry I can't be the best heart.

I find that you and me are exponentially and utterly compatible.

Kindergarden, best friends since then, isn't it funny how things work out?

Who would have known, there is red and there is blue, together making your favorite color.

New humans come, and they may go, you still are one of my favorites.

Reckless and stupid

Funny and loud

very
very
immature
I'd like you thank you, I'm very much glad that I found you...
Lets dance until dawn, we can pretend there's an audience below the stage
You know too much, you laugh to loud, and I love every minute of it
Now lets go make some enemies and roll around laughing on the ground
So thank you, thank you, for every bit.

your father is a morbid man puddy. .. . but morbid can be good if you accept it...
..how can it be good?idunnoimnotmakinganysense............   ..  ..    .well.   i guess if youre in the right mood or in the right setting.(i pictured people. a woman mainly. with dark hair. and everyone had glasses of red wine and were laughing in a short hysterical way. and i realize these people arent representations of people ive seen act like this, theyre representations of me. i kno that feeling which makes that laugh. when hearing stories or seeing pictures or videos of people dying suddenly or getting tortured and the abuser maybe dismembering himself or herself after or committing an interesting suicide which we love to hear about and the sickening brutality and pain and fear and cringing you feel is instantly replaced with a swift too swift and sharp laughter. and these stories are real, otherwise its just silliness or boys being boys with their sick imaginations and saying it just for attention or to be funny or weird.. and we all might question ourselves slightly but either Time or Exposure to the Wicked World or most likely the validation of our indecencies with everybody else's  because its a whole room laughing lets us feel better about it each time but then more ashamed of our withering virtue until we forget. and something to understand from the remark "but either Time or Exposure to the Wicked World or most likely the validation of our indecencies" ad its there is no difference in this matter between the options 2 and 3 because we are the Wicked World. and all 3 are just things we waste. and if not laughing sharplyand loud and insane maybe some of us are at least being entertained while wailing in a definite cringe or exasperation or i dont kno but it is blended with the jovial air of the room. and people and family members laugh with and comfort and joke with eachother like a pride or a flock or any group of animals showing their young 'here.its ok.its an apple. you can touch it. it wont hurt you. its our food.' but we say "c'mere, the foundation of this world and all its agony will rip you apart, so here, learn how to find joy in it otherwise youll be too effected and will need to be discarded from normal happy people who kno their happiness comes first. because thats how we work as people and as a group. now here, have a drink. we pretend it helps and seek it out against our better judgment because we dont want to exist because weve become nothing in place of the wide range of terrible emotions we should experience when seeing the world for what it is.. ourselves most of all." and i guess that is what i pictured. the average happy people. family people. nice house and aunts and christmas people. and i kno im biased but nothing in this imagery matters. i was supposed to capture just the thoughts which i actually spoke to myself or my dog or whoever but now i have a brick-sized moving picture of my interpretation of happy family americans and other nations and just everybody.  but im no different. deep down anyway. deep down i am selfish and scared and come to the conclusion that the world is too complicated to be fixed and were too dumb to fix it reguardless and more so we are filled with souls which shift too often which we must only watch drift away moment to moment leaving us with many things but definitely a healthy amount of selfishness and, well, psychology i guess. we can figure our race and ourselves out as much as is possible and maybe even be right about some things, but knowing what drives us and feeling compelled are unrelated. too constant of a shift are we to be anything describable in correct terms and too unknown is the future to kno wut form our shift could bring us to. ..this is all absolute nonsense. i started rambling world. u gave me a mouth and i started rambling with it. i am definitely equal to a baby human or animal just shrieking into the world because, well just because its alive. so im a baby with no way of managing my existence other than making sounds because there are ears everywhere and peeing where i lay because its inside of me then it comes out because im unaware of my functions and we all send scattered unfinished nonsense to eachother and they send their own version of it back to the human and we manage to make ourselves sick and destroy our home and we're like an ant colony with no coordination.) and then something about laughter is sometimes a coverup for discomfort, so laughing from something morbid is not good. but then again it is still a laugh, and wut is the point system for laughing goodness and thats it the end jesus christ stop. *******. later. txt me wenever. have fun at ur party. i hope the weathers nice up north and not too cold cuz i kno u hate the cold. and im probably a boring **** saying cheezy things trying to act natural and nice and caring but i have my own agenda and am too unnaware to kno that and therefore will never be able to change for the better because i am a stupid human who thinks they have something figured out about every moment of every day but cant really do anything. cant see myself how others see me and cant feel the right way ong enough to accept it and constantly contradicting my conceptual and moral and spiritual universe and will never realize that 99.9 percent of the time my thoughts are of things like rocks and puffy things and shooting myself in the head and im hungry and **** that ***** and... im such a loser. if i dont start acting and living like a straight shooter my only outcome down the road will be lonelyness, heartbreak. regret. shame. and many other bad things where everything i love is either ded or has abandoned me because i am now a man and there is no such thing as abandoning a man but i am alone and want to die and i do. i **** myself and im ded. and there is no heaven and i have no soul and no one knows im ded and the passerbys and police officers and coroners who kno that im ded dont kno my name. so everyone i ever loved who havent loved me for years will die years down the road with families who love them and i will never cross their minds again. and i will deserve it. and i will pray for satan to devour my flesh and feel a demon inhabit my body along with my terror.