C  Charitable with her heart
H  Honesty is her way
E  Eternally devoted to her faith and God
R  Riotously funny
I  Inspiration to others
E  Ever on the go

B  Best friend, that I never met
R  Routinely can be found playing Family Fued
I  Involved with her children
G  Graceful in forgivness
G  Gentle with her words
S  So thankful, am I, that we found each other

It is often the
most difficult task,
to forgive
Could you agree?

I am not very good
at it, I will admit
When all you want
is to get even
or to make the other(s)
hurt just as badly
as they hurt you...
that fuels the grudge

What is forgiveness?
Is it letting someone
off the hook?
Is forgivness
simply forgetting?
Is it saying the wrong
perpetrated upon us
is now OK?
That it really did not
hurt or offend us after all?

No, it is so much more
Forgiveness is not an act
of the emotions,
for they seem unable
to ever come to reason
and they often betray us

It is an act of the will,
a release not just for the other
but for ourselves
from the prison of
resentment and anger

Do we need to hear
an apology
to forgive?
No

Do we need to make sure
the other or others
receive justice?
No

What we need is to make that choice
To forgive even if we don't feel like it
To wait till we "feel like it" is a lie
It is like holding on to a poison that
only destroys ourselves
and not the ones we intended
for it to torment

Forgiveness doesn't mean
we now have amnesia
about the wrong
inflicted upon us
It just means
all resentment
and bitterness
no longer have us in
a vice-like grip

And if we refuse to forgive one
who is begging us for it
that person is stuck in a *******, too
Sometimes, we find it is us
that is in need of forgiveness
and sometimes it is
that very thing
that we need to
extend to ourselves  
so we can enjoy
being in our own skin

I am nobody to instruct another
about how to forgive
I am writing this partly for myself
It is one of the hardest things
for me,
to forgive
But when I am on the receiving end
it feels so beautiful and so freeing

To err is truly human
And to forgive is truly divine
It is not of our human nature
to simply forgive
but is a gift from God above
Even under the worst
of cruel situations
true forgiveness is possible

Going to the neuroligist this morning
To hear what he has to say
Recently I experienced some of the ole' time De Ja Vous
Bringing back memories
I wish I had never been through
In my heart I know
It was all part of Our Father's plan
For me to face the next battle in this world
A reminder to strive for patience and understand
My life is but a grain of sand
In His ultimate plan!
~WKR~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lord, Make me a channel of thy peace- that where there is hatred I may bring love- that where there is wrong, I may bring the Spirit of Forgivness~ That where there is discord, I may bring Harmony- That where there is error, I may bring Truth- that where there is doubt, I may bring Faith- That where there is despair, I may bring Hope- that where there are shadows, I may bring Light, - That where there is sadness, - I may bring Joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be conforted- to understand, than to be understood- to love that to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal life. AMEN
THE PRAYER OF SAINT FRANCES OF ASSISSI

It all made sense now, the road map of my demise.

You could've **** me with your longing heart.
How could you let a broken painting get in the way?

How could you presume, a friendly rapport was feigned?

Why did you have to wait, till the dam can contain it no more?

I felt fate yanked my heart's strings, tangling it.
My brain, rupturing from the cruel deductions.
Tormented cranium—screws gouging out of it.

It all made sense now. Anger draws me towards retaliation. However, I choose not to bear arms; forgivness cries out.

I sever my hand against you, for I will not let this get in the way of our longing for each other.

I abhor hatred against you, because our sweet memories overwhelmed me; because I love you.

My exquisite geyserite, blossoming middlemist, and my Alma mater. I have never forgotten you, I never did—I never will.

My heart
Heavy
With a burden
Unlike anything
I have ever felt
I lay at your alter

You spoke
Of letting things go
Wash away like waves
Upon the shore.

Forgivness
After everything
I have seen
Done
Heard
It is hard
And it hurts
To let go.

Its shaped me.
Though I do not understand
Why
Nor will I
Until the time is right

Teach me
Your ways
Through
Your Joy
Your selfless ways
Your compassion
Your tenderness.

With you to guide me
In my ways
I will learn
And walk the path
Of the Enlightened Heart

I don't know enough about God
To say that I believe in him.
I don't believe in perfection.
I don't believe in nothing either.
I've heard he's there when I need him most.
I've heard he hears my thoughts and prayers.
I've heard that he watches for my best interest
When I'm fully unaware.
I'm not questioning his existance
Cause I've never seen the guy.
I've never seen my great great great great cousin either...
But I've heard that he was here.
I don't know God's favorite color.
I don't know what makes him laugh.
I've never seen him sad or stuck inside a room by himself.
I've never had a drunken conversation with him
Even though at times I thought I had.
I know he has many books about him
And through words and rationalization
I try to keep myself well informed.
Though, I've never seen his name as the author
Or co-signer of the words...
So his history is fractured as far as the facts about him.
I know he's a family man.
I've heard he cares about his kids.
He lets them do whatever they want
Regardless of wether or not they listen to him.
I heard he used to be angry
But now he's just really quiet lately.
Yet I have no idea when he's spoken for himself most recently.
I've tried to blame him for stuff I've done
Cause those times I couldn't take the blame.
I never blame him for my happiness
Or the moments where I'm calm.
Cause if I truly believed, then I'm sure he'd be responsible for those parts too.
I can't say that I hate him.
Or resent him for being so absent from my sight.
He's a pretty busy guy, from what I've heard.
Same could go for myself, I guess.
I don't really believe in me either.
I make choices that I don't much like.
And I dislike the place where they've led me.
I've never trusted myself with honest things
Cause they intrude on the lies that I tell.
I don't have a set of divine morals
Cause if I did, I'd break them for my bad habits anyways.
I think too little and too much
To pinpoint a belief I could **** and die for...
In all honesty I don't want to **** or die at all.
Still, I like the idea that I don't matter
Though, I'm in no way humble.
I don't believe in forgivness
Cause no one ever really forgets.
I don't believe in science
Cause facts don't prove everything.
I kinda wish I knew him.
See if he's a music lover or a fan of different kinds of cheese.
I wonder if I could prank him and stand behind a wall to scare him into laughter.
I wonder if I knew him, if it would be easier to trust him.
Cause trust is another word for faith...
And I lack it in my arsenal of dreams and open minded thoughts.
And if I meet him at some point in time,
I hope he at least has a sense of humor.
Cause at the end of it all, one way or another,
I think the joke would be on me.

As my life gets so complex, I slowly massage my neck. I scratch my head knowing I’m truly dead. I can't begin to express my loneliness.  I can sit here in my room contemplating my doom.  This cloud of gloom won't pass me by. Alas, I don't know why.

You were a last reach at humanity. I guessed at the decision and got such a calamity.  All I wanted was a friend. Instead I lost all hope in the end of sanity.

As I felt my head leave my neck, you bagged my air and said what the heck; you tried your best, a feeble attempt, at a molesting order. I said look over your shoulder, a sky so blue and clear it removed the tears from my eyes as I said goodbye.

You so coldly left my body in such a disarrayed exposed to all on that horrible day.  In the back seat of a car, white in color, I always knew it would be a brother.  One with no sense of others only a frustration unto himself his impotency and broken mind has caused my death before it's time.

There is only one thing left to do as I cruse toward the judgment land. I'll ask god to forgive you.  As you walk this life, just remember your fall from grace and try to make a vow to always protect instead of ****,  To hold dear and get out of your own way make it clear you were to let go and to stay clear.

To learn and live, find another, begin again. Just remember your vow remains till time will end.  Your death could be eternal over and over again.  Through the non ending flames of his judgment, fear lives long, but forgiveness wins.

Begging for forgivness
Under the influence of my mistakes.
One simple word is all that it takes.
Tonight is my last stand,

I will reach to my temptation's hand.
The taunting voices cause my
Tears to flood,
Along with the constant shedding of my ****** blood.

Everyone can see what I have become.
That fact doesn't fase me,
Because my emotions are numb.
No one cared enough to try and

Change my views.
I turned on them.
There was nothing else
I could choose.

I can hear the things they say
As they whisper about what
I used to be.
Not even the man I love can set me free,

From the monster that is me.

Who am i that God will trust in me so much?
I break all the rules,
all the time!
Who am I to say that his love will always last for me?
God says we are to ask for forgivness,
and it shall be granted.
but what happens when you've betrayed him for the millionth time?
Will he openly punish you?
What if you keep asking for forgivness
for the same thing
always saying "Lord, I'll never do it again!"
Why do we lie to those who care the most about us?
My Lord.
I love thee.
I need thee.
I know you'll never fail me.
So forgive me,
for my sins.
and i promise to you,
i'll try my HARDEST not to do it again.