got the flu..like flu-man-chu...its bad voodo...this flu...its like flu-boo-hoo...this bad flu....my head is flu-yahoo...

oh man its so im ryming...its ryming flu...im not gonna give it to you....this flu-man-choo...blue-moon-woman-choo...

LOL send help quick or

the flu-man-chu will overtake u

After seeing a Flea flee,
along with a fast fleeing Fly,
I wondered what Fleas and Flies do
if in fleeing, they flew into a flue?

Now should a fleeing Flea flee,
with a Fly that flies with flu,
does flying with a fleeing Fly,
free the fleeing Fly of the flu?

When seeing a Fly fly into a flue,
followed by a Flea with the flu
does it mean that the Fly that flew
by flying into the flue, was fleeing
from the flu or the Flea with the flu?

When a Flea and Fly are flying
is the Flea fleeing with, or flying from a Fly?  
or was the Fly that flew, fleeing from a Flea?

Or:

When a fleeing fly with the flu, flies into a flue
and a flea with the flu, is fleeing along with the fly
with the flu, into the flue, is the flea flying with
the fly with the flu, into the flue, or is it happenstance?

You tell me! A little bit of fun!

Rhymer.  February 28th. 2018.

Ban flu,
Man flu.

Aching head,
Bleary eyes,
Death lurking,
In disguise,
Under the bed,
What a surprise,
******* Death,
I’m going to rise.

No I’m not,
I flop down,
Head cushioned,
In eiderdown,
In the curtains,
Face of a clown,
In medication,
Senses drown.

I’m not dying,
I am in a state,
Snot and phlegm,
I ******* hate,
No latent desire,
To *******,
No appetite,
I’m losing weight!

I’m getting better,
Weak as a lamb,
A hot toddy,
A wee dram,
Man flu is real,
Not a sham,
Getting better,
The **** I am.

The fifth day,
What a-to-do,
So had enough,
Of feeling blue,
Death lost,
So go *****,
Getting dressed,
I am its true.

Man flu,
Ban flu.

© Paul Chafer 2014

I told bae he had the flu
he denied it saying he's fine
now it's my birthday and I'm alone
so bae got sick just in time

bae is sick and falling asleep
he will not text back at all
I guess it's my fault
that he just won't answer my call

bae has the flu and doesn't feel good
I'm sitting at home alone too
I wish I could die cause he isn't here
the bae whose asleep and with the flu

My local pharmacy
was exceptionally busy today
Worriedly,I scan the pharmacy line
For any signs of people;
coughing, sick, in any way

I don’t have a mask I’m not protected
My mind is freaking me out
after all those people came
For medication
of one kind or another

People are dying
Have they been around
Someone with the flu
Nursing them, contagious

Nervously I wait.
They call my name
No information,silently
The pharmacist grabs an arm,
sticks the needle in my arm
gives me the shot
Pushes the medicine in
Hands me a paper
Consequently Telling me , as he walks away
“It takes ten days before Your protected”
I sit there swimming with questions
He is gone

As I walk from the store
Several sensations occur immediately
My arm hurts instantly
At the shot sight
Although the needle was tiny
throbbing pain works it’s way
Down my whole arm

By the time I start the car
My head is pounding
Within the first block
My head is pounding so much
It hurts behind my eyes

Anxiety of the unknown symptoms  sets in
I have alway been very careful
Getting behind the wheel of a car
On any medication
“I can make it home”
I chant as I drive
“I’m close, almost there”

My body feels strange
I’m home in 7 minutes
I’m safe breath, sigh relax

My chest feels like someone’s sitting on it
It’s hard to breathe
My oxygen saturation level
drops into the mid 80s

I make sure my husband knows
Where the paperwork is
As I explain to him all my symptoms
Reactions to the flu shot

I feel euphoric
nauseous consumesme, holding it in
Vomiting is dangerous for me taking
time releases medications
I take something for the stomach
Pulling on my pjs And climbing into bed
Making dinner, not an option

I wake up 4 hours later
My symptoms have leveled out
The chest still tight breathing a bit less labored
However,All other symptoms
Have become an aching in all my joints
I mange to eat leftovers
my stomach feels better

My head still in a fog
The next day is a struggle
To get moving
I realize how strong
this strain of the flu is

I get the flu shot every year
And have never experienced
These reactions

I know everyone is different
But take caution when getting the flu shot
Go home immediately afterwards
Preferably have someone with you

Spanish influenza
walking pneumonia
icepick headache
common cold
whooping cough
Diabetes
anorexia
getting old

flat foot
bad back
heel spur
heart attack
spasticus
autisticus
tongue tied
amb(i)dextrous

my weakness
is my forte
my sickness is  my skill
my illness
is my realness
it makes my life a thrill

Trying to fight this
bronchitis
gangrene
runny nose
frostbite
tooth decay
hat hair
broken bones

bed bound
shell-shocked
flea ridden
sinusitis
cholera
dropsy
eliphantitis
out-all-nightis

wom­b fever
winter fever
black water fever
remitting fever
ship fever
jail fever
camp fever
or schizophrenia

scarlet fever
tuberculosis
American plague
rock n roll
Wheezing
Paralysed
Got gas
In both holes

rabies
scabies
rickets
and SARS
man flu
bird flu
swine flew
from Mars

multiple sclerosis
tennis elbow-sis
stomach ulcers
and leukaemia
night blindness
hypothermia
lung cancer
sickle-cell anaemia

French pox
Lockjaw
Polio
Gout
Nostalgia
Dropsy
Knocked right
Out

Stuttering
Bellyacher
Anti-social
Leprosy
Sleep walker
Sleep talker
Absent minded
OCD

Tourettes, ****
Pyromania
tonsillitis
Conjunctivitis
Food poisoned!
Warted over
My Psoriasis
(Will I survive this?)

Measles
Malaria
Meningitis
Migraine
Scrum-pox
Worm fit
Water on
the brain

apparitions
seeing things
rattly chest
bad breath
la duzi
tormentation
inflammation
black death

measles
malaria
migrane
mumps
leprosy
lice and
leg bone
lumps

kleptomania
bubonic plague
black *****
feeling ****
bone shave
falling sickness
wanna stop
just cant quit

Huntington's and
Parkingson's and
Hare-lipped
Hay fever
Typhoid fever
Glandular fever
Night fever
And Hysteria

intellectual
dyslexia
dysfunctional
family
cancer crab
stillborn twin
bad blood
epilepsy

Parking spot
disabilities
all the wounds in
all the militaries
pity thee with
lost agility
lost babes or
infertility

ear infection
starvation
Hepatitis
E to A
smallpox
chicken pox
cow pox
what a day

tuberculosis
stuttering
panic stricken
star struck
scurvy
shingles
headless chicken
bad luck


paranoid
in the void
premature
*******
stomach ulcers
feeble pulses
chronicled
*******

autistic
gallstones
double-jointe­d
wrists and knees
consumption
bad digestion
quinsy palsy
ticks and fleas

amnesia
typhus
amnesia
heart failure
radiation
cholera
amnesia
bad behaviour

Hypochondriac?
By gosh, no!
Poorly are ye?
‘Fraid so.


nostalgia
        suffer me
wanderlust
suffer me
insomnia
suffer me
loneliness
let me be



god
complex
mother
complex
father
complex
ego
complex

­

its complicated
im superior
its complicated
im inferior
its complicated
im a short man
got ingrown hairs
got a bad tan



im suffering
ocd
im suffering
obesity
im suffering
jealousy
xenophobia
and nosebleeds



stokholm
syndrome
toxic shock
syndrome
got it down
syndrome
irritable bowel
syndrome

yellow nail
syndrome
stevens-johnson
syndrome
restless leg
syndrome
shoulder-hand
syndrome

lambert-eaton
syndrome
mi­ddle-lobe
syndrome
mobius
syndrome
pickwickian
syndrome

post rubella
syndrome
riley day
syndrome
straight back
syndrome
ulysess
syndrome



alcoholics
we are prone
drug addicts
we are prone
mind benders
we are prone
fortune spenders
we are prone



My illness, my illness
My illness is my realness

*Pick it up
Tide it over
Fight it off or
Cave in

Save it
Suffer it
Pass it on
When its Raining

bleed him
restrain him
shave his
head

he went from being
quite well
to being quite
dead.

My parents think it's just the flu.
I guess it could be if love could get you sick.
I feel queasy all the time.
I can't keep food down.
I'm tired and my body aches.
I tremble and shake.
My head pounds and spins.
But it's just the flu right?
No
I may be sick,
but it is nothing that can be cured by a doctor.
No amount of medicine can make this go away.
There is no cure for the hole in my heart.
Do you know what it's like?
I bet you haven't got the slightest clue.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to live with a hole in your heart?
To lie on the floor screaming.
Begging for the pain to stop.
Before you know it,
you're racing for the bathroom.
Running to the toliet.
Your stomach hurts from sobbing.
Here comes dinner.
I go back and curl up in bed.
Tired and aching.
Mom comes in and ask if she can do anything.
I just tell her I do not feel well.
Who knew love could make you so sick.
I miss you.
Every time I think of you;
every word you say to me...
it all just makes me sick.
**But it's just the flu right?

Backed in.
Upside-down yet right-side-up.
My "Days Off" are never enough.
Backed in. Feelin rough.
Being alone in my quiet place is often tough.

My mind wanders, getting lost.
Missin out on bein about.
Locked up on a cold, cloudy, winter day.
No doubt.
No trust, no love, nothing to clutch...
I hold my blanket and pout.
Loudly.
No friends wander in and out.

Undoubtedly this pen holds no cure for a broken spirit and a broken heart.
I guess this just falls under "Vague Art".
But it's a new start...to an old art.
I should've known this'd be harder than being a martyr.

Underestimating the already underestimated.
It's my time to shine.
Mesmerized by the bright light.
I try not to fight it...this paper, My Shrine.
Im an ugly person with a handsome mind, intertwined with the devine.
My life, MY throw, MY time.
It's never this easy to draw strait lines...-----------------------

Suddenly the sun has gone
Away from the lilac skies
The sky's black-blue
Suddenly the sun has gone
Away from the lilac skies
The sky's black-blue
I've caught the flu
I've caught the flu of wintertime

Incandescence through chlorophyll
Visible via the clouds of mist
Dew on leaves
Woolen skin and
Leather gloved fists

New flowers bloom
Dawn's the age of gloom
The merry days of Yuletide
And the days of never-ending nights

Darkened alleys
Seem like mountain valley
My nose can't smell
My throat can't speak
Like the desert my skin is dry

Fiery heaven
These campfires
Peanuts roasting
I can hear their noise

O! These days of sickened voice.
I've caught the flu of wintertime

Incandescence through chlorophyll
Visible via the clouds of mist
Dew on leaves
Woolen skin and
Leather gloved fists

New flowers bloom
Dawn's the age of gloom
The merry days of Yuletide
And the days of never-ending nights

Darkened alleys
Seem like mountain valley
My nose can't smell
My throat can't speak
Like the desert my skin is dry

Fiery heaven
These campfires
Peanuts roasting
I can hear their noise

O! These days of sickened voice.

When men tell women they have the flu
That they have never felt so bad
The universal response, alas it’s true
Is for women to go stark raving mad!

Men with the flu are not taken seriously
By members of the opposite ***
Their illness the subject of great levity
Despite the debilitating effects!

Men are often told to simply stop whining,
(Like women never complain themselves)
Though it’s obvious their health is declining
They are just told to “get over your selves”

They tell us to grow up, be a man
suggest we need to grow a pair
“I work when I’m sick and so you can”
We are informed with a deathly stare.

We are told to man up, to stop snivelling,
They question whether we are men or mice
“Try giving birth if you want to know about suffering”
A phrase thrown at us more than once or twice.

They are always convinced it is just a cold
Though our temperature may be sky high
They are often adamant and will not be told
Though we feel like we’re going to die

Though sneezing and coughing like never before
Though our whole bodies are obviously aching
Sweating and shivering, every muscle sore
Yet they seem convinced that we are faking  

We are accused of being overly demanding!
They tell us not to be such a Mummys boy!
And though we might expect a little understanding
Most times they cannot even bother to try!

You would not think it was too much to ask
But it most certainly seems to be
though we are incapable of the simplest task
we can not get one ounce of sympathy

They accuse us of expecting a full time nurse
Though all we need is some loving care
But all the arguing just makes us worse
They never see they are being quite unfair

It seems that they really could not care less
they could not be bothered even trying
we feel bad enough but all this added stress
only makes us feel we’d be better off dying!

They accuse us of making a song and dance
Of making a mountain out of a mole hill
And really us men do not stand a chance
Unless we can prove beyond doubt we are ill.

Thank God for researchers at Stanford University
all men will forever be in their debt
They took the issue of men’s health very seriously
And studied the subject in depth.

They published their findings in 2013
Confirming the existence of the “Man Flu”
The research and conclusions are there to be seen
Facts with which no woman can argue.

It outlines facts you might not have known
Which may make you feel much better at once
It seems it’s men’s high levels of testosterone
That seriously weaken the immune response.

It is only because you are a real man,
because you actually have a pair
that you feel sicker than any woman ever can
it’s a scientific fact, so there!

So next time we get sick hopefully
Women might just believe that it’s true
Perhaps we may be taken more seriously
just in case we have the dreaded “Man Flu”!

The bad news alas, is that there is no cure
Though they are doing the best they can
So if your man gets the flu, ladies be sure
To be more patient,take great care of your man!