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F/UK
Mummy running solo, teaching teens and writing what I live
Poems
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
No Lipstick.
Ember Evanescent
Dec 2014
Red Lipstick
What I never leave the house without
Because it ***** out all the pigment in my skin
It drowns out all my ugly features
Red Lipstick
but today
I'm going to try
not wearing it
Because if she is brave enough
to face the demons in her head
this time of year
I can face mine
I should be able to be strong too
No Lipstick
I think everyone in the station is staring at you
No Lipstick
They are all thinking you're hideous. You should be ashamed. Those poor people who are forced to look at you. Go put on lipstick
No Lipstick
Look. Can you see your reflection in the glass? See how ugly you are?
No Lipstick. But beauty is not the most important thing.
Look, it's a girl from your elementary school. She just looked at you. The prettiest girl in the class. The one the boys liked, including the one you liked for so long.
No Lipstick. It doesn't matter. I don't care what she thinks.
Yes, you do. Now you have confirmed what her friends always said. What she has always thought. You. Are. Ugly.
No Lipstick. I don't care if I am ugly.
Yes, you do.
No Lipstick. Stop! Get out of my head!
No one has ever looked as repulsive as you.
No Lipstick. I'm fine.
No you're not. You're crumbling.
No lipstick. I am not. I can do this.
No you can’t. You’re too pathetic. You are not as strong as her. You are not brave. You are fighting a losing battle.
No Lipstick. Stop hurting me!
You are not allowed to stand up for yourself. You can't talk back to me. You are too ugly to deserve to be allowed to.
No Lipstick. I hate you!
Then that means you hate yourself.
I know. And I do. But I have to do this. It’s time to prove I care more about living my life than being pretty. So No. Lipstick.
What I never leave the house without
Because it ***** out all the pigment in my skin
It drowns out all my ugly features
Red Lipstick
but today
I'm going to try
not wearing it
Because if she is brave enough
to face the demons in her head
this time of year
I can face mine
I should be able to be strong too
No Lipstick
I think everyone in the station is staring at you
No Lipstick
They are all thinking you're hideous. You should be ashamed. Those poor people who are forced to look at you. Go put on lipstick
No Lipstick
Look. Can you see your reflection in the glass? See how ugly you are?
No Lipstick. But beauty is not the most important thing.
Look, it's a girl from your elementary school. She just looked at you. The prettiest girl in the class. The one the boys liked, including the one you liked for so long.
No Lipstick. It doesn't matter. I don't care what she thinks.
Yes, you do. Now you have confirmed what her friends always said. What she has always thought. You. Are. Ugly.
No Lipstick. I don't care if I am ugly.
Yes, you do.
No Lipstick. Stop! Get out of my head!
No one has ever looked as repulsive as you.
No Lipstick. I'm fine.
No you're not. You're crumbling.
No lipstick. I am not. I can do this.
No you can’t. You’re too pathetic. You are not as strong as her. You are not brave. You are fighting a losing battle.
No Lipstick. Stop hurting me!
You are not allowed to stand up for yourself. You can't talk back to me. You are too ugly to deserve to be allowed to.
No Lipstick. I hate you!
Then that means you hate yourself.
I know. And I do. But I have to do this. It’s time to prove I care more about living my life than being pretty. So No. Lipstick.
Not every battle is as obvious. Something like leaving the house without lipstick can seem so simple and almost stupid to make a fuss over, but it is really, really hard for me to do today. I have to prove to myself there is no way that I have dysmorphia.
To all of you who are fighting quiet battles with yourselves, I send love and courage out to you. <3
To all of you who are fighting quiet battles with yourselves, I send love and courage out to you. <3
OnwardFlame Dec 2014
Polluted Lipstick
OnwardFlame
Dec 2014
You would know the inviting poison just from looking across the shining street,
Its true my red lips and eyes long for so much, and everyone whispers
“Its all in the red lipstick”
Coffee mugs, rolled papers, lollipops, and whiskey bottles
Stained with the pleasure
Kiss my mouth and I will leave my stain.
Ruffled bed sheets and expressive faces, loved forever and full of our bodies stain
Look for my friends with cardigans and hats, they escort me giggling on the street
Our floating and intoxicated theatre talk, full of pleasure
I will go home at night after talking myself into a frenzy just to hope you come to give me your whispers
Say things you shouldn’t: “I can see it. Images of cribs and baby bottles.”
Wrapped in a currently unreachable fantasy, but all we can say is its in the lipstick
So Paint my face and I will wear my pearls for you, my mouth gleaming with lipstick
And I know we will both be poor but we cannot run from the stain
That our alcoholic bottles
Will never fill. But I know you, you will walk through the street
You make me want so much and I will give you all my vulnerable whispers
And though its true I may be a handful, I love to see your sly smile of pleasure
For when you hold my face in your hands, oh what pleasure
And my lips will be smeared with red lipstick
But no, it won’t matter because I still hear those whiskey whispers
Please leave a good stain
Because my heart, its true it resides on the street
It could be stomped on like empty beer bottles
But this love potion concocted of glass bottles
Through my dancing, cooking, and flirting—I just want to see you feel pleasure
And this city, its true it will eat up our liver, with ***** Broad Street
So I will laugh my loudest laugh when I see your lips covered with my lipstick
And I will be glad to leave you with my colossal stain
For in the morning and in the night I still hear my past’s Southern whispers
But running only towards your whispers
Reinventing myself with poisonous bottles
Look at the rose colored stain
I know you see into this moon of pleasure
Within me my soul is covered with Marilyn Monroe’s lipstick
Longing, such longing, but we reside to our auditioning on this city’s street
Filling our lungs up with dramatic pleasure
I will cover the theatrical current like my lipstick
To only walk forward in the beautiful polluted street.
Its true my red lips and eyes long for so much, and everyone whispers
“Its all in the red lipstick”
Coffee mugs, rolled papers, lollipops, and whiskey bottles
Stained with the pleasure
Kiss my mouth and I will leave my stain.
Ruffled bed sheets and expressive faces, loved forever and full of our bodies stain
Look for my friends with cardigans and hats, they escort me giggling on the street
Our floating and intoxicated theatre talk, full of pleasure
I will go home at night after talking myself into a frenzy just to hope you come to give me your whispers
Say things you shouldn’t: “I can see it. Images of cribs and baby bottles.”
Wrapped in a currently unreachable fantasy, but all we can say is its in the lipstick
So Paint my face and I will wear my pearls for you, my mouth gleaming with lipstick
And I know we will both be poor but we cannot run from the stain
That our alcoholic bottles
Will never fill. But I know you, you will walk through the street
You make me want so much and I will give you all my vulnerable whispers
And though its true I may be a handful, I love to see your sly smile of pleasure
For when you hold my face in your hands, oh what pleasure
And my lips will be smeared with red lipstick
But no, it won’t matter because I still hear those whiskey whispers
Please leave a good stain
Because my heart, its true it resides on the street
It could be stomped on like empty beer bottles
But this love potion concocted of glass bottles
Through my dancing, cooking, and flirting—I just want to see you feel pleasure
And this city, its true it will eat up our liver, with ***** Broad Street
So I will laugh my loudest laugh when I see your lips covered with my lipstick
And I will be glad to leave you with my colossal stain
For in the morning and in the night I still hear my past’s Southern whispers
But running only towards your whispers
Reinventing myself with poisonous bottles
Look at the rose colored stain
I know you see into this moon of pleasure
Within me my soul is covered with Marilyn Monroe’s lipstick
Longing, such longing, but we reside to our auditioning on this city’s street
Filling our lungs up with dramatic pleasure
I will cover the theatrical current like my lipstick
To only walk forward in the beautiful polluted street.
Kimberly Santana
Apr 2014
1.MY MOTHER WOULD STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND PAINT HER LIPS RED FOR A MAN WHO WASNT MY FATHER.
2.MY BEST FRIEND STOLE HER MOTHERS LIPSTICK TO IMPRESS A BOY AT SCHOOL AND THE NEXT DAY SHE CAME INTO CLASS WITH A FAT LIP.
3.THE BEAUTIFUL BOY FROM MY FIRST PERIOD CLASS FRESHMAN YEAR BROKE MY HEART WITH LIPSTICK STAINS CRAWLING UP HIS JAW.
4.THE INSULTS ON THE BATHROOM STALLS WERE WRITTEN IN BLOOD RED LIPSTICK.
5.MY GEOMETRY TEACHER USE TO SNEER AT ME WITH SCARLET LIPSTICK ON HER YELLOW TEETH.
6.THE GIRLS IN MY FAVORITE BOOKS ALWAYS MADE ME CRY. THIER RED LIPS STILL HAUNT ME.
7.WHENEVER I’D TAKE IT OFF MY LIPS WOULD STILL LOOK PINK AS IF YOU’D SPENT HOURS KISSING THEM.
8.WHENEVER I THINK OF RED LIPS I THINK OF THE SCENE IN ****** WHERE HUMBERT IS ******* HIS LITTLE NYMPHET IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT FOR HER TO STAY AND HER RED LIPSTICK IS SMEARED ON HER MOUTH AS SHE STARES UP GLASSILY AT THE CEILING
8.WHEN YOU FINALLY GOT OFF MY BROKEN BODY THAT NIGHT MY RED LIPSTICK WAS SMEARED ACROSS YOUR CHEEK. YOU PULLED ON YOUR PANTS AND ZIPPED YOURSELF UP . YOU THUMBED THE RED MESS ON YOUR CHEEK AND SMIRKED AT ME AND SAID. “GOD I LOVE THOSE RED LIPS"
2.MY BEST FRIEND STOLE HER MOTHERS LIPSTICK TO IMPRESS A BOY AT SCHOOL AND THE NEXT DAY SHE CAME INTO CLASS WITH A FAT LIP.
3.THE BEAUTIFUL BOY FROM MY FIRST PERIOD CLASS FRESHMAN YEAR BROKE MY HEART WITH LIPSTICK STAINS CRAWLING UP HIS JAW.
4.THE INSULTS ON THE BATHROOM STALLS WERE WRITTEN IN BLOOD RED LIPSTICK.
5.MY GEOMETRY TEACHER USE TO SNEER AT ME WITH SCARLET LIPSTICK ON HER YELLOW TEETH.
6.THE GIRLS IN MY FAVORITE BOOKS ALWAYS MADE ME CRY. THIER RED LIPS STILL HAUNT ME.
7.WHENEVER I’D TAKE IT OFF MY LIPS WOULD STILL LOOK PINK AS IF YOU’D SPENT HOURS KISSING THEM.
8.WHENEVER I THINK OF RED LIPS I THINK OF THE SCENE IN ****** WHERE HUMBERT IS ******* HIS LITTLE NYMPHET IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT FOR HER TO STAY AND HER RED LIPSTICK IS SMEARED ON HER MOUTH AS SHE STARES UP GLASSILY AT THE CEILING
8.WHEN YOU FINALLY GOT OFF MY BROKEN BODY THAT NIGHT MY RED LIPSTICK WAS SMEARED ACROSS YOUR CHEEK. YOU PULLED ON YOUR PANTS AND ZIPPED YOURSELF UP . YOU THUMBED THE RED MESS ON YOUR CHEEK AND SMIRKED AT ME AND SAID. “GOD I LOVE THOSE RED LIPS"