Let's ask ourselves the question, that if we're really happy, then why does it feel like somethings missing?
We desire something more, and reach the goal - maybe for a while, it'll make us whole.
But then the sting comes back and the emptiness rears its ugly head, yet again.
We're alone.
Broken.
Empty.
Telling ourselves, that if we just get to the next point, we'll be happy again, and the cycle continues.
We are like a puzzle, almost complete, but missing the most important piece,
trying to find something else to fill that gap.
But nothing fits,
And nothing completes it.
So what's missing?
‭To tell you the truth, you were made for something more.
But you can't find something more without Someone to point the way.
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

If there's One who knows the depth of the misery,
of watching your beloved child anguish in death and suffering,
It's the One who gave His Son for our freedom.

The pain of the little hands,
clutching onto your own in fear, confusion, anger, peace and finally rest.

The turmoil of the raging seas,
the unrelenting storm inside,
no time to breathe, no time to think.
Riddled with the torment that the one who was of you, is no longer.

Wrestling with the battle inside,
the war to believe,
the ability to have comfort in utter weakness -
unable to escape the need for your arms to be full again.
And your soul to have rest.

And love, you freely surrender
knowing the great Comforter, will bring you home, there where your heart lies,
in the arms of the Father.
Cherished and never alone.

Free from the grief of the world,
free to be loved and live in eternal peace.

And so, even in the thickest of darkness, light shines the brightest,
And we breathe in the hope that lifts our soul, back to You.

You came running down my prodigal road.
You came running with a ring and a robe.
Grace is the collision on the way back home,
With the arms of a Father who won't let go.
-Jonathan David Helser

'I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages'
-Charles Spurgeon.

Dear struggling child of God,

I know you keep trying to steer the ship back to the shore. Back to safety and peace in God.

I know the storms seem tougher than you are and Christ seems more distant as the waves push you deeper into the sea.

You tell ourself, "tomorrow will be different," every night you close your eyes and wonder when God will be near again.

Holy Spirit seems gone.

And you're left trying to tame the madness and chaos that He's left you to deal with all alone.

When your tears are concealed by the anger of the storm, and you wonder if God truly left you to deal with the storm all by yourself.

Child, I know how much you long for things to be the same, for the Prince of Peace to calm the storm or help you walk on water.

The worse part is, no matter how hard you seem to try, He just doesn't seem to care.

Right?

I have no courage to give you, or wisdom to impart on you. I'd say in your weakness, He is strong, but how could I when the weakness seems greater than God Himself.

But I want you to know, holiness is a journey that's not easy to embark on.

To be sanctified in Jesus through the redeeming work of Holy Spirit, feels like a battle you'll never win.

And trying to steer to the safety of the shore, is like running against the wind.

But when you think God has not prepared you to face the harshness of the storm, remember Christ who become a child and chose to be born in a stable. A place not typically fit for the majestic glory of God Himself.

When your body is limp and weak, remember the King of Kings, who was slapped and beaten in shame and carried so much embarrasment that His own disciples abandoned Him.

Remember the garden of Gethsemane, when Yeshua chose the cup of suffering that we may share His glory and be an ambassador.

Remember how He chose the wrath of God, for the freedom of mankind. How his hands and feet bore the holes of disgrace that came with dying a sinners death.

Being an ambassador of the great King, means we bear an image that represents Him. Though there is glory, there is also suffering.

So be still even in the rage, even in the discomfort, knowing that the God who created the seas, will direct you to where you must go, not where you think you want to be.

Sincerely,
your struggling sister.

i was once drained of life.
dying.
face sunken and dried,
veins narrow, trying to take in as much blood as it could
and
a heart without enough life to live.
dead.
that's what you call someone with no heartbeat, an inactive brain and
an oxygen deprived, rotting pair of lungs.
that was me.
dead.
and then, suddenly,
Jesus Christ.
redemption blood coursed through my veins,
igniting a heartbeat.
compressions and then breath to my lungs and my brain.
"breathe," He said.
salvation runs red within my body,
giving life where there was death and decay.
i can breathe.
finally, i can breathe.
look, look at my Saviour!
with a bloodied and bruised face,
swollen eyes.
look at His hands and His feet, pierced.
look at the crown of thorns,
the blood runs like tears down His face.
look, He comes riding on a donkey and a colt.
pierced on His side, where my salvation runs free.

who is closing your eyes for you?
who is hiding the Truth?
who has stitched your mouth together that you do not praise and exalt the most high God of all?
why have we covered our ears like children, running away from discipline?
who is responsible for the waste our lives have become?
don't you know that you have a purpose that far exceeds just rust and decay?
come and hear the message that has been preached from everlasting.
come and hear this eternal gospel truth.

i have something to tell you,
something that's been on my heart for so long and i desperately need you to hear it.
God is telling you to come back.
come back home.
you spend so much time fighting against Him, that you miss out on the fact that He's been fighting for you.
of course there are struggles and pains in this world, but Jesus said, "take heart, for I have overcome the world."
so take heart, and come back home, because you will restlessly search for your belonging, that is found only in Him.

My dear heart, why do you fight so hard for a world that only wants to see you fail?
Come back to your senses, and come back to your Father.
All will be well

in darkness we roamed around this world, as wretched souls who were spiritually dead.
we are slaves to sin and oppositions of the Heavenly realms.
we thought we were free, but stuck in a prison with all our deepest desires, guilt, regret, shame and hurt splattered along the grey, decaying walls.
yet all of it should've been worth it, right?
we had some happiness, just a little, i swear it was worth it.
but its never enough, and we can try hard but we'll never be satisfied.
we make idols out of our deepest pleasures and bow down to statues and stars.
worshiping something, even though you'll say otherwise.
we serve sin.
we glorify sin.
and yet we want hope and peace that which cannot be found in the deep pit of division and transgression.
there was nowhere out.
you could try as hard as you want, but it's like an addiction,
and we're just looking for our next fix
because we thought there was no home to mend us.

a broken mask fractured on the ground
laying in a million tiny pieces.
I am afraid of who I am without my disguise,
which shields me from the uncertainty of this world.
will they accept me for who I am not?
or deny me of who I am becoming?
I can only imagine the rejection and guilt.
my anxious thoughts,
a constant reminder of how destructive my mind can be.
and also, a gesture of how You annoint my head with oil, like a good Shepherd.
who You are making me,
who You have called me to be, oh Lord,
is greater than all the confusion and pain this world holds.
may we cling to Your safety and refuge.
may we rejoice when our pretence is demolished.

your age does not determine your relationship with God.
children became kings, leaders and prophets.
david killed a giant
and the youth of israel were the only individuals who entered the promised land.
so i say again,
your age is not the deciding factor God uses to draw you close to Him.