I write because how else would you read my mind

I remember the days we used to love in letters,
High school, love so surreal
Pure and free, it almost felt real
I wish l could continue the past
And write you a letter
I have a lot to say,
Lines to rhyme
I want to write you a letter
would appreciate the gesture?
But then l remember I'm in no position to write you a love letter

I missed too many dreams
On all the nights l allowed your memories to take my sleep
Cried too many too many tears
I almost feel empty

From learning hues that painted their joy to cradling their vulnerabilities, I hesitate to unfold my chapters to anyone new.
Nevermind knowing someone else, how do l open up to another person
To know me exactly how you did, without me sayin' a word
"Move on," they say, yet moving on means exposing the very part of me that being with you taught me l should shield from the rest of the world
So, where do I begin
I don't want another hi that will lead to a goodbye

So today someone made me smile, even laughed
Today l set for coffee, lunch and dinner
And never for a moment did l look for you in anyone
Today l did everything l wished to do with you, even more
And no thought of you crossed my mind
Today everything that once reminded me of you
Didn't bring any memory
Today for the first time in a long while l didn't look forward to your text
Today your absence felt normal
And it didn't make me cry
Today l don't miss you as much as l used to
So Today l realise maybe l am slowly forgetting you
It's what I wanted but why does it still make me sad

I don't know how to move on
Without loving you

I kept wondering what it would be like falling in love after a heartbreak
And **** why didnt l let go sooner